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[IronyOwl]

Or if the bullying is physical and/or aggressive in nature. Far from all bullying is, in fact, in my admittedly limited experience, it's actually in minority to the non-physical bullshit.

Which brings us to the issue of what exactly "bullying" is. As is usual for persistent, large-scale problems, the answer is subjective.

Not that it matters terribly much in my opinion, however. Social incompetence and general insecurity should really be dealt with regardless of whether anyone else feels antagonized (or provoked, for that matter) by it.

[Taricus]

I never got bullied until year eight (In school. Still had my brother harassing me at home) then it got bad. I guess I was lucky my mother was persistent on bulldozing through bullshit, As that did keep me out of serious trouble when I did retaliate...

[scriver]

Well, saying violence never solves anything is obviously not correct, but you still have to look at the bigger picture: Beating up a bully, if it stops them in the first place - there's no guarantee it does, only stops them from bullying you. It doesn't stop them from chosing a new victim, it doesn't change their behavior - only suppresses it, and it doesn't give them the "help" they need. Basically, I feel it's pretty much the same as putting a blanket over the whole thing and ignoring it.

That said, I don't think you shouldn't fight back or anything if you're being attacked, but violence is still not the answer to the problem.

[ChairmanPoo]

There are smarter ways to go about it than starting flailing about.

[Boksi]

Violence is always a great solution to any problem.

It just tends to cause even more and worse problems.

[Vector]

In the most straight-up case of bullying I ever endured (with both physical and verbal components), the thing to do was basically sit there and take it, saying nothing, and so on (but certainly not ignoring--just not flipping my shit)--and then it turned out that my bully grew to respect me, or something.  When she asked if I thought she was fat I very seriously told her that I didn't think so.  Maybe a little bit plump, but certainly not fat, and it wasn't a problem.

After that, somehow, she left me alone entirely.  I moved to a different school and had a year there--when surprisingly, she got put in the same class as me, but we wound up getting along well.  We weren't friends.  I was too scared of her.  But we did okay.

[Earthquake Damage]

There are smarter ways to go about it than starting flailing about.

What about cases of institutionalized bullying, where authorities implicitly approve (through inaction) or even encourage it?

Possibly-but-not-necessarily-related:  If asserting your dominance (read:  whooping someone's ass) will earn you respect (read:  no more bullying) in a particular (hypothetical) setting, is it not a "smart" solution?

[ed boy]

In the most straight-up case of bullying I ever endured (with both physical and verbal components), the thing to do was basically sit there and take it, saying nothing, and so on (but certainly not ignoring--just not flipping my shit)--and then it turned out that my bully grew to respect me, or something.  When she asked if I thought she was fat I very seriously told her that I didn't think so.  Maybe a little bit plump, but certainly not fat, and it wasn't a problem.

After that, somehow, she left me alone entirely.  I moved to a different school and had a year there--when surprisingly, she got put in the same class as me, but we wound up getting along well.  We weren't friends.  I was too scared of her.  But we did okay.

That is pretty similar to the sort of stuff that I experienced; I think it's just because everbody involved gets a lot more mature.

[IronyOwl]

Possibly-but-not-necessarily-related:  If asserting your dominance (read:  whooping someone's ass) will earn you respect (read:  no more bullying) in a particular (hypothetical) setting, is it not a "smart" solution?

It is for you, but it doesn't necessarily do anything about the fact that the bully is a bully. Simply feeling out their standing a bit or even just being acknowledged can help in some cases, but for the most part whatever problems they have are still there.

Perhaps more relevantly, it's only "smart" if you've established that it will indeed improve the situation, which many people never really bother to do.

[Tellemurius]

Violence while is nice, totally not a complete option for retaliation. I have been in so many fights that the main reason was bullying. All I can say is stay with friends, if you are alone, stand your ground.

[SalmonGod]

Or if the bullying is physical and/or aggressive in nature. Far from all bullying is, in fact, in my admittedly limited experience, it's actually in minority to the non-physical bullshit.

Which brings us to the issue of what exactly "bullying" is. As is usual for persistent, large-scale problems, the answer is subjective.

Indeed.  I think most people equate bully with random punk, or person who simply doesn't like you and likes to cause you trouble.  These are short-term or limited scope problems that should be confronted and resolved.  I hesitate to call such things bullying.

My perspective on bullying runs deeper and more institutional than that.

Bullying is the systematic and long-term degradation of an individual without social recourse.  Either it's done through loopholes in social awareness or boundaries, or you're simply agreed upon by the majority as an acceptable target for abuse.  Either way, fighting back by any means that doesn't directly challenge the social fabric of the community is likely to just make your situation worse.

In the most straight-up case of bullying I ever endured (with both physical and verbal components), the thing to do was basically sit there and take it, saying nothing, and so on (but certainly not ignoring--just not flipping my shit)

I basically agree with this.  In true cases of bullying, they want you to participate.  They're calling you out to play their game by their rules.  The only way to win is to avoid playing by any means possible.  If you respond tit-for-tat, they will escalate the situation until somebody gets seriously hurt.  If it's you, not only are you now more hurt than you would have been, but you have set yourself up for continued and more terrible abuse in the future.  If it's them, congratulations you are now worse than them and going to be incriminated as such.

After that, somehow, she left me alone entirely.  I moved to a different school and had a year there--when surprisingly, she got put in the same class as me, but we wound up getting along well.  We weren't friends.  I was too scared of her.  But we did okay.

The strange thing is, every bully I dealt with would act as if everything was ok when alone with me.  There was only one exception, and I'm pretty sure that kid was physically abused at home.  It's a social phenomenon.  It occurs in groups.  The bully uses his victim to elevate himself, and passive bystanders are elevated by virtue of not being the victim.  Just laughing along grants them some small share of the ego boost, and most people will gladly take that opportunity.

[Zrk2]

I have found that violence can solve bullying. IF it is used as a last resort. The first step is to tell them to bugger off, when that fails, tell the authorities, when that fails, punch them. It has worked for me every time I have been forced to use it. And in the instances where I was not able to use it, it would have succeeded in stopping later incidents.

[Urist Imiknorris]

* Rule #6: If violence wasn’t your last resort, you failed to resort to enough of it.

Basically, try everything else before you "reboot them."

[sonerohi]

My two best and oldest friends are former bullies. For five years of grade school they would taunt me, harass me, and try to intimidate me. When teachers came to me after noticing things, I refused to ever tell on these kids, respond to their insults, or participate in fights with them. I'd like to think my good behavior set a higher example for them, but really they probably just did some growing up, tried to make amends out of guilt, and found we weren't that opposed.
On the other hand, the kids that I responded to, eye for an eye, always managed to incriminate me as the aggressor and get away without getting in trouble. Several of them still remain a problem to me and my actions against them have solidified me as an enemy in their minds, so they ignore my peace attempts.
On yet another hand, the kids that I over-reacted to were cowed completely. I believe it was Gandhi who said "An eye for an eye leaves you blind first, so shank twice when you cut a dude". This seems like some Machiavellian stuff but it is how things worked for me growing up. Now that I'm in high school I get more chances to perform to my fullest at things, and when a kid on the football team tries to call you a faggot and intimidate you, nothing shuts them up quicker than showing up at his practice, out lifting him, and being closer to the varsity team than he is.

[Blargityblarg]

I've been bullied my whole life; I was never one of those kids- generally with a mild learning disorder, enough to get them an aide or extra help but not enough to have them in a special needs school- who is almost universally bullied, but I was mildly social awkward and always fairly overweight. I have no recollection of my coping mechanism in primary school, but basically as soon as I hit secondary I developed the ubiquitous shell of apathy and dismissive thinking.