Now he hopes to get more from being critiqued.
Andrei looked out over the vast, white-grey nothingness that confronted him. Sky and land merged into one infinite, silent, featureless void that could never be tamed, neither by natural nor supernatural hands. Suddenly, from far below, a piercing cry was heard, harsh and shrill, and before he could react, it was upon him. Black wings of stretched skin buffeted him, while sharp talons ripped at his clothes and hair, trying to gain purchase, to drag him away to some foul nest filled with shrieking young, to be fought over by the monster's hatchlings. Andrei tried to scream, but as he opened his mouth a talon swept in and grabbed a hold of his tongue. Andrei bit down hard, drawing a few black drops of putrid blood from the creature's thin skin. The taste was far worse than any medicine, and in shock, Andrei released his hold on its leg, and at the same moment the creature let go of his tongue. But it was too late. Even though the creature had let go of him, it had pulled him too far over the edge of the great cliff for him to regain his balance. He fell, tumbling for what seemed an eternity, till suddenly he landed on his back with a sickening crunch.
Andrei struggled to sit up, but it was almost too painful. He opened his eyes, and saw above him the familiar gunmetal grey of his bedroom ceiling, and the solitary light-bulb that struggled to illuminate his room. The pain in his back had receded, so he sat up, only to find that he had been lying on the floor, having fallen out of bed during that frightful dream, the dream that had tormented him for so long.
He got up, washed in the tepid trickle that somehow passed for a shower, dressed, ate a soggy bowl of porridge with vitamin supplements and inoculant. Then he went out for a walk in the thick snow that had settled on the street in the past few weeks. His pocket Geiger counter clicked slowly as he walked.
Some fifty or sixty years ago, a nearby nuclear reactor had suffered a critical meltdown, spreading nuclear fallout across half the globe, and the effects were still being felt here, but thankfully, the toxicity levels were nearing acceptable levels and the flora and fauna were recovering from the genetic illnesses caused by the radiation. There were, of course, the occasional calves born dead with extra organs, or plants whose flowers were as hard and fruitless as oak galls, but on the whole, nature was recovering from the disaster.
The chill winter wind bit at Andrei's ears and nose as he walked in silence down the abandoned streets, past apartment buildings, built during the oppressive communist regime, long ago evacuated, past rusty derelict cars and abandoned warehouses and factories, whose contents had, for the most part, been salvaged and re-purposed for use elsewhere. The silence was oppressive, the only sounds being the muffled crunching of his boots in the snow and the slow clicking of his Geiger counter. As he walked his thoughts constantly went back to his dream. The image of the monster burned in his brain, its black wings spread wide, its long mouth open wide, shrieking that terrible, hoarse cry, and its sharp claws reaching out towards him, readying to grab him. Even now, awake, fear sent trembles through his spine and twisted his stomach painfully.
Quite suddenly, and without quite knowing why, he stopped, looked around, and smelt the air. The sharp tinny smell of fresh snow had an unfamiliar tang to it and in the air he could see a small amount of steam coming from a pile of scrap metal. Cautiously, his heart beating furiously, he approached the pile and reached out towards it. The air was warm above the scraps, which he now noticed were not covered with snow, and neither was the ground around them. There was a low moan from below; Someone was alive under it! Andrei began pulling the metal off, and soon the person below was exposed to the open air, but to his surprise, it was not a person at all! It had a human physique, but that was the extent of it. It wore no clothes, but was covered head to toe in coarse, dark brown hair. It had a flattened nose, and its pointed ears were perched high on the top of its head, like a dog, or a cat. Its large amber eyes were squinting against the sudden intrusion of the daylight. He (for Andrei could now perceive that it was a male) drew his great body up onto his haunches, wincing, as though in pain. He looked at Andrei in confusion, and said brokenly,
“Who... Is you?”
“I'm Andrei,” he replied. “What's your name?”
“I called Ugún,” answered the creature, in his gruff voice. “I come from south... that way,” pointing, again wincing in pain as he lifted his massive paw.
“What's wrong with your arm?” asked Andrei.
“I cut arm on rock,” Ugún replied, and Andrei now noticed that the fur on Ugún's left triceps was matted and blackened with dried blood, and felt a surge of pity for the creature.
“Come with me,” he said. “I'll help you with that.”
For a moment Ugún looked at him suspiciously, but the suspicion quickly left his face and he nodded his consent. He slowly rose, and followed Andrei to his apartment. The two walked in silence, obeying the cold air's demands for silence. Ugún shivered and clutched his wound with his free paw, but Andrei discouraged him from doing so, warning him that that might open it up again.
When they arrived at the apartment, Andrei washed Ugún's wound with a bowl of hot water and bound it with strips of cotton from his medical kit, then brought him a bowl of borscht, which he ate greedily, drinking it down, rather than using the spoon.
“Thank you, human,” said Ugún, when he had finished.
“You're very welcome, Ugún,” replied Andrei. “Is there anything else you would like?”
“I... Very tired,” he said. “Would like sleep.”
“You may use my bed, then,” offered his host, showing him the way.
After his guest had settled down to sleep, Andrei busied himself in his work, taking samples, readings, and notes for many hours, while Ugún's unfamiliar snores droned on and on.
• • •
It was dark when Ugún woke up, but night came quickly in the winter, and when he came out of Andrei's bedroom his host was just preparing supper, and the toothsome smell of fresh borscht was wafting through the small apartment. Andrei put two steaming bowls on the table, and they tucked in heartily. When they were finished, Andrei pushed his bowl to the side, and said,
“So, Ugún, what brings you to this end of the world?”
“What you mean, human? World is round, is not?” replied Ugún in confusion.
“I meant, why did you come to this desolate place?”
“Oh.”
Ugún put his paws together, and cocked his head to one side, and remembered.
“Hmm. Better started from beginning. I born sixteen springtimes past, in dark forest...
And that's where i left off. Any critique?
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Topic: A couple months ago, Hubris had an inspiration. (Read 676 times)