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[DinosaurusRex_x]

Your adventure begins with you sitting in front of your laptop in your bedroom of the townhouse you and your room mates share.

Having lurked and prowled all over your usual hang-outs on the internets, and having missed your appointments for the day by lounging around and taking too long to do anything, you suddenly realize that you are bored.

Inventory:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Cellphone
Wallet w/ keys attached to it
Bicycle w/ lock and helmet
Stethoscope
Air-pistol
Blow torch

[Dr. D]

Chug an entire handle of whiskey, vodka, and gin.

[Krath]

Boot up Dwarf Fortress.

[DinosaurusRex_x]

Unfortunately you do not have said liquor in your inventory.

You install Dwarf Fortress.

You are a noob and don't know anything.  The high-end graphics confuse you.

[Dr. D]

Go rob a liquor store with your blowtorch.

[DinosaurusRex_x]

You log out of DF and attempt to rob a liquor store with your blowtorch.

The liquor store attendee lights a smoke with your torch in front of all the customers.  He has visible gang tattoos on him.  uh oh, you're in a sketchy part of town.

[Flagrarus]

Offer to perform a fire eating act if he lets you go.

[DinosaurusRex_x]

He agrees; if you eat his lit cigarette, fire-end first.

[Flagrarus]

That sounds humiliating. You know what, there's no way we're doing that.

Let's put out the cigarette...in his eye. And then get the hell out of there.

[DinosaurusRex_x]

You take his cigarette, and move in close as you open your mouth and shake as you draw it in.  He leans forward to get a good look at what he expects to be singeing agony, but you suddenly flick it around and JAM IT RIGHT IN HIS EYE.

He yells as you make a break for it.

You now have an angry mobster chasing you. He looks faster than you, but you have a head start on him.

And silly you, you locked your bike up outside the shop so no one would steal it while you were robbing the liquor store.

[Flagrarus]

Go into an alley and turn around with our air-pistol out. If the bluff isn't working, start running again.

[DinosaurusRex_x]

Your air-pistol is clearly a fake, of the most brightly coloured plastic variety.

He charges, you don't have time to turn around and run..

You...

[RoryTehNoob]

throw the fake pistol at him and whip out your cell phone and press random buttons hoping to dial a helpful number

[noah22223]

Grab the knife next to you. Yeah, on that cardboard box over there. No, not the clean one, the rusty one. No, not the rusty fine one, the rusty chipped one. Yeah, that one.

[DinosaurusRex_x]

You successfully hit him in the face with your air pistol.  He tried to swing at it, but with limited depth perception he just flailed his arm out.

You grab you phone and press 0.

You dial.

Oh what's this, a knife?

"Operator, what can I do for you?"

STAB STAB STAB STAB STAB STAB STAB STAB

inside of a shieking "_{oh god please help!}"

She records this for the police.  Your cellphone line has been tracked.

You are covered in blood.