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[USEC_OFFICER]

Eat tasty chip innards. Gain their courage tastiness from doing so.

[Draignean]

Woah, briefly you have an amazing vision of yourself as a rocket. After you stop tasting like green it ends, and you realize that some of those spores must be getting crazy in yo bologna.

After the vision fades you womp yourself about in the bag of chips innards, breaking them apart and eating them as you go. You internalize the chips, gaining dorito spikes! You are now crunchy and may inflict damage if something eats you unsuspecting.

Meanwhile bag of chips expires, just becoming another lifeless object as you devour its innards. The can of soda can't take it anymore and it takes the easy way out, popping it's own cap. The resulting fountain of soda blasts the lid of the little box open, letting some light in. Curious, you would have thought the box locked.


Alignment change, you are now Chaotic Weird.
The box is open.
The soda is dead
The chips are dead
You are a soggy sammich

[DinosaurusRex_x]

Perfect!  No one will eat us now!

If we wait out we can probably escape in the trash.

[Evergod41]

How hilariously satirical (though not really satire)

A lone sandwich, no matter in what state, or of what composition, is no longer a meal of the title 'lunch' but more of an afternoon snack.

therefore we/I/you/whatever tense this is meant to be played by, no longer exsist(s)...

[FuzzyZergling]

Squeeze self into soda can/chips bag; walk around like a crab.

[Draignean]

You wait a little, pondering your existence as a lone soggy sammich that just killed the only other two animate objects it knew. You wonder when somebody is going to pick you up and throw you away and you look up. You find that you are in a car, the lunchbox is in the passenger seat. That would explain the lack of handy people to pick you up and be disgusted at a bologna, mustard, cheese, and dorito sandwich that is soaked in diet coke.

You squeeze most of yourself into the bag of chips' husk and scuttle around, bored with the box you try to scuttle out. Through incredible effort of which the 'wichs shall forever claim as witchcraft you make it to the top of the lunchbox. Your internal philosophization has reached critical mass though, you are obviously no longer a lunch, your entire purpose for being has been removed. Sobbing little mustard tears you fall with a crinkle off the top of the box and into the seat.

You land in some blood, you are now bloody.



 

[Gatleos]

Climb onto dashboard, scan your surroundings.

[ShoesandHats]

Look around for objects that would make good claws to become a complete food-crab.

[DinosaurusRex_x]

acquire fruitflies.

[Draignean]

Still sobbing little tears at your bizarre plight you flollop onto the dashboard and look around. You are in a car, the interior is cheep and doesn't try to disguise itself otherwise. There is a corpse in the drivers seat, part of its head is missing. You feel a part of yourself reaching out to your former owner, sure he was going to eat you but... he was your purpose in life. As an aside you find yourself undergoing the first ever case of stockholm syndrome in a sandwich.

As you gaze across the bloody mess of the front of the car you feel yourself acquiring purpose and determination once again, you were once lunch but you killed the rest of the meal. You were the strongest. You are no longer lunch, you are no longer food, as of now you are DETECTIVE SAMMICH! You feel yourself puff up with pride and your Dorito wrapper shell crinkles stupendously shaking out a few doritos that were clinging to the inside of the bag, lacking appendages to stick them to and make claws you stick it out your mouth like a cigarette instead.*

Class change: Lunch -> Detective Sammich

Abilities gained:

Interrogate: You may question an inanimate object that has never been alive and actually expect an answer.
Dark and Stormy night: Everything will now be described in Noir first person.
There will be cleavage: Somehow a lady in distress and a partially unbuttoned blouse will enter the story. These two objects are not necessarily connected.


*Surgeon general's warning: Sticking parts of your companions innards in your mouth and smoking them may be detrimental to you health and is definitely detrimental to theirs.

[Taricus]

Examine what killed the human

[Criptfeind]

Interrogate: You may question an inanimate object that has never been alive and actually expect an answer.

I am unsure how this counts as a ability.

[Taricus]

We can do the impossible!

[Draignean]

Interrogate: You may question an inanimate object that has never been alive and actually expect an answer.

I am unsure how this counts as a ability.

They will actually talk back most of the time. I suppose it could have been better phrased as "You may question an inanimate object that has never been alive and actually expect an answer more than an ordinary sandwich that's wearing a Dorito bag and tripping on its own spores."

[Tarran]

...This game is just plain silly. Welp, might as well join in.

Question the steering wheel on the death of our mutual owner.