Great Armok. That was truly epic. Dwarves of Oiledgod - I salute you.
I mentioned a troll, and a tragic situation that I was delaying?
Read on.
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Sodel Lovelyflag, Militia CommanderAfter-Action Report, 10th Felsite, 553
So I come to this dirtpile excuse for a hospital looking for someone to treat my broken toes, and take a seat in the corner to wait. Apparently the doctor's too busy fishing or something for me, slacking elf-lover. And what happens next? In no time at all, some farmer, Godel Rackchances, comes in and SITS ON ME. That's right, the bastard has two broken, sliced up legs somehow, and he just lurches in and collapses right on me. He's been out ever since, and I keep drifting off myself, for the pain.
Finally, finally someone comes by, but it isn't the doctor. No, it's my loyal soldiers, Macedwarves (or so they call themselves, no one's been able to make any bloody maces yet with that maddwarf clogging up the forge, so they're just punching things) who come in to tell me the bloody
broker just sent them down into the caverns to rescue some dwarf in distress. They help him in, this "Herocks" fellow, and he lies down in a bed, and they hand me this log and
leave me there.
Bastards. I hope they all catch a slow-moving, painful rot.
From what 'Herocks' has told me, the situation played out thus: Stranded, deep in the caverns on routine business (i.e. fucking around) Herocks ran straight into a troll. As he was right at the edge of the great Chasm at the time, his terrified screams echoed all the way up to the main floor, and the soldiers, busy at their meal, were alerted and rushed to the rescue - but Herocks was far below and it would be some time before they reach him. Meanwhile...
The troll corners Herocks near the edge of the chasm - there is nowhere to run, and a steep drop behind. Herocks has little choice: he fights.
At first, Herocks does quite well. He has dabbled in the arts of combat, and is quite a bit more agile than one might expect, and was able to evade the trolls blows for some time, landing a few himself, even resorting to BITING its gnarled hand in a moment of desperation. I must say, I am impressed by the tale.
But then the fight takes a turn for the worse. The troll is simply too powerful, and after being repeatedly slammed into, Herocks loses his coordination for a moment, allowing the troll to seize him by the thumb, and gore him on his horns. Herocks continues to struggle, but is forced back... back towards the great pit.
Herocks feels himself growing weak, breathing is difficult and he cannot get away. He is mere inches from the edge when the troll lunges for him once more...
Herocks thinks fast. He ducks swiftly to the side and levels a quick blow to the back of the troll's knee, upsetting its balance. The troll sails past Herocks, bellowing in fury and confusion as it plunges fully three stories to the lower ledge below. Herocks wastes no time fleeing, hobbling on an injured foot - but the troll is far worse off, and by the time it begins to give chase, the Macedwarf Kogan Daggerheat has passed Herocks and greets the trolls emergence up the narrow ramp with a fist to the skull, immediately knocking the beast back to the ground.
A fierce and prolonged bare-fisted pummeling to the head ensued, and after a time Geshud Ceilingcircled joined the fray. The troll offered scarce resistance, too seriously injured by its fall to stand or even stay conscious long. After what seemed like forever, the body of the monster moved no more. Oiledgod is safe.
End Report. Now where the bloody hell is that medical dwarf?
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Edit: I should mention - the ONLY thing I did, in this whole affair, was order the militia to come down and help. From there, I just watched and recorded. Every bit of this, from the excellent location of this epic battle, to the dodge, to the daring escape, was just as it happened. The combat reports & images above represent practically 100% of the fight between Herocks and the troll. I omitted the militiadwarves battle because it was just pages and pages of "macedwarf punches troll in head, bruising the muscle."