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Author Topic: You know your fort can look after itself when....  (Read 2382 times)

phoenixuk

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You know your fort can look after itself when....
« on: April 13, 2011, 03:41:17 am »
A Forgotten beast AND a cyclops visit at the same time and you forget about them both, only to find your military has dealt with them both using the burrows you set up. With no casualties.

I think it's time to start a new fort, the metropolis of Tinhelm clearly no longer requires my assistance.
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ZachUSAman

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Re: You know your fort can look after itself when....
« Reply #1 on: April 13, 2011, 03:59:00 am »
find a way to kill off your fortress first.
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phoenixuk

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Re: You know your fort can look after itself when....
« Reply #2 on: April 13, 2011, 04:02:53 am »
Actually i might have spoken too soon... i'm currently facing a disease spiral from FB blood, everyone exposed is covered in massive blisters and drowning in their own lung juice...
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Uristocrat

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Re: You know your fort can look after itself when....
« Reply #3 on: April 13, 2011, 04:05:06 am »
Quote from: phoenixuk on April 13, 2011, 04:02:53 am
Actually i might have spoken too soon... i'm currently facing a disease spiral from FB blood, everyone exposed is covered in massive blisters and drowning in their own lung juice...

Gotta have some defensive Dwarven Bathtubs set up for this sort of thing.

Or just watch the fort die horribly.  You know, whichever.
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Quote from: forsaken1111 on January 09, 2011, 08:22:09 pm
Quote from: Uristocrat on January 09, 2011, 03:46:41 pm
You could have berries on the rocks and the dwarves would say it was "berry gneiss."
You should die horribly for this. And I mean that in the nicest possible way.

phoenixuk

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Re: You know your fort can look after itself when....
« Reply #4 on: April 13, 2011, 04:13:19 am »
TBH i'm getting bored of this fort, my military can take on almost anything, and my militia captain has now lost 4 babies as ablative armour and STILL isn't tantruming. I've flooded one layer of my forgeworks in magma by accident and the place is still ticking over happily. I don't want to purposefully destroy the fort, i want to see it go down naturally if you will.
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Yoink

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Re: You know your fort can look after itself when....
« Reply #5 on: April 13, 2011, 05:07:01 am »
My forts can take care of themselves, once everyone is dead. xD
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Quote from: Th4DwArfY1 on February 17, 2019, 05:32:37 pm
Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
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TolyK

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Re: You know your fort can look after itself when....
« Reply #6 on: April 13, 2011, 05:20:28 am »
Quote from: Yoink on April 13, 2011, 05:07:01 am
My forts can take care of themselves, once everyone is dead. xD
was just about to say...
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phoenixuk

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Re: You know your fort can look after itself when....
« Reply #7 on: April 13, 2011, 06:19:32 am »
Welp, that did it, one of my hammerdwarves had a strange mood, unfortunately he wanted shells, which are non-existant in my biome.
He's gonna go nuts and i predict many many dead dwarves before my military take him out.
Should be fun to watch!
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Chessrook44

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Re: You know your fort can look after itself when....
« Reply #8 on: April 13, 2011, 07:27:05 am »
Quote from: phoenixuk on April 13, 2011, 06:19:32 am
Welp, that did it, one of my hammerdwarves had a strange mood, unfortunately he wanted shells, which are non-existant in my biome.
He's gonna go nuts and i predict many many dead dwarves before my military take him out.
Should be fun to watch!
Five bucks says the military knocks him out, but only after losing about two of their own.
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Oliolli

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Re: You know your fort can look after itself when....
« Reply #9 on: April 13, 2011, 07:47:26 am »
Quote from: Chessrook44 on April 13, 2011, 07:27:05 am
Quote from: phoenixuk on April 13, 2011, 06:19:32 am
Welp, that did it, one of my hammerdwarves had a strange mood, unfortunately he wanted shells, which are non-existant in my biome.
He's gonna go nuts and i predict many many dead dwarves before my military take him out.
Should be fun to watch!
Five bucks says the military knocks him out, but only after losing about two of their own.
The get angry at losing their friends, tanrtum and kill off the rest of the fort :P
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phoenixuk

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Re: You know your fort can look after itself when....
« Reply #10 on: April 13, 2011, 08:09:39 am »
Well, the final result is not a fort collapse, but still quite impressive.
The hammerdwarf went beserk, and rampaged across my crafting floor killing 7 civilians, four dogs, 2 cats and a yak before engaging the military assigned to deal with him. Assigning the rest of his squad to deal with him was entertaining, as 9 hammer wielding dwarves descended on one beserker, also armed with a silver hammer. In the time it took them to bludgeon him to a mushy paste, he killed 3 of his squad mates with head shots, broke 4 arms, two legs, and i gave up trying to count fingers. The 6 surviving members of "The Swords of Painting" are now ALL laid out in the medical wing having various degress of surgery and wound dressing in an attempt to keep them from all shuffling off the mortal coil.

Silver hammers are awesome.

And if i don't get a tantrum spiral out of this i've no idea... it may just be time for the magma pumps.


Ok i give up, no spiral, no tantrums, and to top it all off one of my marksdwarves just shot the head off a Desert Titan with a single crossbow bolt. My dwarves are epic legends who refuse to suicide.

[The Desert Titan Rithlut Nilesnum Kinkovest has come! A gigantic dimetrodon composed of salt. It has a broad shell and it has an austere look about it.]

The creature blew past all my traps, and my gate was not closed in time. A lone marksdwarf had made it to his station before the creature breezed into my entry tunnel. Placing his fate in the hands of Armok he took careful aim and fired...

The flying copper bolt strikes The Desert Titan in the head and the severed part sails off in an arc!

He beheaded a titan. With a single crossbow bolt.
« Last Edit: April 13, 2011, 08:28:06 am by phoenixuk »
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Yoink

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Re: You know your fort can look after itself when....
« Reply #11 on: April 13, 2011, 08:33:37 am »
Promotion!
Is the commander still alive? :P
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Quote from: Th4DwArfY1 on February 17, 2019, 05:32:37 pm
Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
Quote from: grisha5 on August 07, 2014, 02:08:36 am
you need to reconsider your life
Quote from: JoshuaFH on March 29, 2018, 07:54:09 am
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

phoenixuk

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Re: You know your fort can look after itself when....
« Reply #12 on: April 13, 2011, 08:44:11 am »
Yes, however Adil Astoltar Uzolnist Idath, "Adil Sabregild the Oily Fears of Amusing", Marksdwarf, is now commander of his own platoon of marksdwarves. To prevent any injury to my dwarven sniper of doom, he is the only crossbow wielder in history (to my knowledge) to wear full plate armour with underwear made of iron chain. I'll be damned if any lucky pot shot from a goblin is going to seriously injure my new terminator.
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ledgekindred

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Re: You know your fort can look after itself when....
« Reply #13 on: April 13, 2011, 08:49:41 am »
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

(In case you don't get the reference, it's Ashitaka from Princess Mononoke.  He was a badass archer who would sever heads with his arrows.  Sometimes several at a time.)
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Quote from: Starhero on February 11, 2012, 10:31:23 am
I don't understand, though that is about right with anything DF related.
Quote from: Kestrel on April 23, 2011, 08:12:44 pm
I just hope he dies the same death that all dwarfs deserve: liver disease.
The legend of Reg: http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=65866.0
Atir Stigildegel, Legless Hero of Diamondrelic: http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=83136.0

imperium3

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Re: You know your fort can look after itself when....
« Reply #14 on: April 13, 2011, 08:52:22 am »
IIRC salt creatures aren't very dangerous though...

But if you want the fort to go down, how about digging a little... deeper? What could possibly go wrong?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Quote from: Niyazov on May 12, 2012, 11:59:06 am
Socks inspire the same sort of emotions in dwarfs that Helen of Troy inspired in the Achaean Greeks. Although it is said that Helen's face launched a thousand ships, socks have surely launched a million ultimately-fatal Store Owned Item tasks.
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