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Author Topic: How many murdered caravans and bad offerings does it take to piss the elves off?  (Read 2193 times)

psychologicalshock

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So far I murdered 1 caravan on purpose after offering it wood (by accident then), I let the next 2 go with a decent profit margin , pissed off the next and the last one walked right into a siege and was torn apart. I don't really care about the elves either way (they haven't brought anything useful in years really) but how much more do you suppose are they going to take before getting a hissy fit?
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CinnibarMan

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I think they get angry faster if you piss 'em off by offering wood and they live to tell the civilization.
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Burning and raping the land is recreational. Where business is concerned, though, sustainability is the name of the game.

Necro910

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I think they get angry faster if you piss 'em off by offering wood and they live to tell the civilization.
Fail.

They'd rather die than see murdered trees.

Agent_86

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Offering the elves wooden items over and over again pisses them off a lot faster than just killing them outright.  Though killing them just for good measure wouldn't hurt.
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When something isn't quite dorfy enough, just add magma.

thegoatgod_pan

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But you can piss them off?  I thought they would never get offended unless you started at war with them.
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More ridiculous than reindeer?  Where you think you supercool and is you things the girls where I honestly like I is then why are humans on their as my people or what would you?

PwndJa

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Just keep at it. Kill them, offer them wood. It doesn't matter. Eventually they will get mad and show up out of nowhere riding unicorns and smoking ropereed. World gen can make your civ strong allies with elves' so it's sometimes harder to piss them off than you might think.
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Necro910

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Just keep at it. Kill them, offer them wood. It doesn't matter. Eventually they will get mad and show up out of nowhere riding unicorns and smoking ropereed. World gen can make your civ strong allies with elves' so it's sometimes harder to piss them off than you might think.
Show them your wood, I say!

FallingWhale

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I think they get angry faster if you piss 'em off by offering wood and they live to tell the civilization.
Fail.

They'd rather die than see murdered trees.
If they don't come back it's their fault, if they come back they know too much.
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clockwork

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Cut down your entire forest?
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Sheb

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Best way seems to cut the whole forest (and much of the caverns), turns it into trade good, offer them until they depart, then kill them all save one.
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Satarus

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Does messing with caravans actually lead to war?  The only time I've ever had a war was when a diplomat died at my fort or I broke the tree cutting agreement.
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You need to make said elf leather into the most amazing work of art.  Embed it with every kind of gem you have, stud it with metals, and sew images into it.  Erect a shrine outside your fort with that in the center.  Let the elves know that you view their very skin as naught more but a medium for your dwarves to work on.

Naryar

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Catch their merchants in masterwork wood cages, decorated with wood, menacing with wooden spikes, with wooden images of dwarves cutting trees on them. Also strip them.

Then attempt to sell their cages, naked, hungry and dehydrated, to the next elven caravan.

Eric Blank

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unfortunately for that admittedly brilliant plan; the elves won't survive a full 12 months to be sold to the next caravan. Their corpses won't last long in there either thanks to dwarves and their strangely arranged OCD triggers.
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DrKillPatient

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I thought caged stuff doesn't ever die of starvation/thirst?
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Naryar

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unfortunately for that admittedly brilliant plan; the elves won't survive a full 12 months to be sold to the next caravan. Their corpses won't last long in there either thanks to dwarves and their strangely arranged OCD triggers.

Dwarves feed caged prisoners. Just feed them enough so that they won't die, but will be sold dehydrated and starving.

Of course, give them water only on wooden buckets and... no wait, i've got a better idea.

Make wooden chains constructible. Build your trade depot of wood, make wooden floors nearby, and chain your starving, dehydrated prisoner elves near the depot. Be sure to give them enough water so they survive up to the next caravan, only in wooden buckets though, and give them only low quality plants (rat weed, prickle berries, muck root) to eat. In wooden barrels. Be sure that all the wood that is used for them has been chopped down and processed under their eyes. All wooden items must also be dwarf-made.

Then manage to get them go berserk when the next elven merchants are unloading. And the finishing touch... keep a few dwarf-made wooden weapons (or training weapons) handy for the berserkers to kill their own kin with wood.

You can now call yourself a villain, and an Evilly Affable one.

Oh, did I forgot that all dwarves serving elves must have at least Skilled rank in Comedian ?
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