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Author Topic: Seige? What? No we're tourists.  (Read 847 times)

SpiralDimentia

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Seige? What? No we're tourists.
« on: April 10, 2011, 04:06:47 am »
So my fortress, after having it's first titan [and my first ever.] got it's first siege as well. Took the goblins long enough. Anyways, it's a seige of a shitload of macemen, and an axeman riding a giant toad. I kicked on the warning klaxon and everyone got inside. Military rushed up from to hold them off, seige engineer actually got of his ass and sat behind the ballista.. and the macemen just stood there. After about 10 minutes of this, I turned off my emergency burrpw, dwarves went out to fish and continue clearcutting a forest.. and the goblins don't care.. I havn't gotten TOO close, but normally this close would result in a chase. These gobs just don't feel like fighting, I guess...?

Edit; So ater sitting there watching them twiddle their thumbs, I decided to send my woodcutter to hack some trees down enar them.. maybe lure them out. I had to get close enough that he got scared and ran away first, and even the only 1 of the gobs chased him. Not even far, either. Just a few tiles before the gob turned around and went back to his group. I am confused.
« Last Edit: April 10, 2011, 04:10:02 am by SpiralDimentia »
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Dragonwork, A Successful Failure.
Legacy of Insightshields
Many more made tales in this hall,
before the stronghold found it's fall.
An enemy none could stop or yield,
had taken over Insightshields.

UnrealJake

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Re: Seige? What? No we're tourists.
« Reply #1 on: April 10, 2011, 04:26:04 am »
Quote from: SpiralDimentia on April 10, 2011, 04:06:47 am
Edit; So ater sitting there watching them twiddle their thumbs, I decided to send my woodcutter to hack some trees down enar them.. maybe lure them out. I had to get close enough that he got scared and ran away first, and even the only 1 of the gobs chased him. Not even far, either. Just a few tiles before the gob turned around and went back to his group. I am confused.

BLEIGH! RAWR! RARGLBARGLE! Heh, stoopid dworf. Thought we was gunna kill him. Heh, dees silly dorfs. I'm only jokin' dorfy! Only jokin!
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Quote from: Mister Always on April 12, 2011, 04:21:33 pm
Huochong sounds like what you hear when a ninja hits somebody with a frying pan.

"HUOOOOOOOOOO-"
*CHONG*

SpiralDimentia

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Re: Seige? What? No we're tourists.
« Reply #2 on: April 10, 2011, 04:33:06 am »
First, that made me lol.

Second, this made me LOL much harder;

I found out why they won't move. They are following their captain, the one riding the toad. Where is he? His toad decided it wanted to jump into the nearby pond. I guess the goblin axeman couldn't get off in time, cause his drowned corpse is currently in the pond with him.
Logged
Dragonwork, A Successful Failure.
Legacy of Insightshields
Many more made tales in this hall,
before the stronghold found it's fall.
An enemy none could stop or yield,
had taken over Insightshields.

UnrealJake

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Re: Seige? What? No we're tourists.
« Reply #3 on: April 10, 2011, 05:11:39 am »
BLEIGH! RAWR! RARGLBARGLE! Heh, stoopid gobbo. Thought we was gunna let him ride me. Heh, dees silly gobbos. I'm only jokin' gobbo! Only jokin!
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Quote from: Mister Always on April 12, 2011, 04:21:33 pm
Huochong sounds like what you hear when a ninja hits somebody with a frying pan.

"HUOOOOOOOOOO-"
*CHONG*

EmperorJon

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  • Still waiting...
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Re: Seige? What? No we're tourists.
« Reply #4 on: April 10, 2011, 05:14:20 am »
Well SpiralDimentia...


Me yesterday.

I call bug on it.
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Quote from: Kamamura on February 18, 2012, 06:38:11 am
I think it's the way towns develop now. In the beginning, people move into a town. Then they start producing tables, which results in more and more tables. Soon tables represent a significant portion of the population, they start lobbying for new laws and regulations, putting people to greater and greater disadvantage...
Link for full quote. 'tis mighty funny.

SpiralDimentia

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Re: Seige? What? No we're tourists.
« Reply #5 on: April 10, 2011, 05:22:40 am »
Well I got them to attack..and it was a hell of a war. like 15 goblins total vs. my 10 military dwarves [and eventually my 6 war dogs]

Everyone is now dead. Everyone. Minus 1 goblin who's uninjured and somehow killed like 4 of my dwarves, and 1 hammerdwarf who survived the initial fight, but had to eb taken to the hospital. He's now marching towards this one last goblin, hammer in hand... on a crutch. A real trooper.
Logged
Dragonwork, A Successful Failure.
Legacy of Insightshields
Many more made tales in this hall,
before the stronghold found it's fall.
An enemy none could stop or yield,
had taken over Insightshields.

UnrealJake

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Re: Seige? What? No we're tourists.
« Reply #6 on: April 10, 2011, 05:23:46 am »
BLEIGH! RAWR! RARGLBARGLE! Heh, stoopid gobbo. Thought we was dead. Heh, dees silly gobbos. I'm only jokin' gobbo! Only jokin!
Logged
Quote from: Mister Always on April 12, 2011, 04:21:33 pm
Huochong sounds like what you hear when a ninja hits somebody with a frying pan.

"HUOOOOOOOOOO-"
*CHONG*

SpiralDimentia

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Re: Seige? What? No we're tourists.
« Reply #7 on: April 10, 2011, 05:38:51 am »
What is this? You can't be serious. I'm not getting my second megabeast of all time, a forgotten beast. While my rag-tag farmers-turned military is gathering equipment, that one goblin is talking shit, my previous standing military was decimated... This is much win. I'll have to do something about not letting this FB eat me though.


The Forgotten Beast Paboz has come! A towering skinless crocodile. It has large mandibles and a bloated body. Beware it's poisonous bite!
Logged
Dragonwork, A Successful Failure.
Legacy of Insightshields
Many more made tales in this hall,
before the stronghold found it's fall.
An enemy none could stop or yield,
had taken over Insightshields.

UnrealJake

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Re: Seige? What? No we're tourists.
« Reply #8 on: April 10, 2011, 05:44:08 am »
BLEIGH! RAWR! RARGLBARGLE! Heh, stoopid dworfs. Thought dey was safe. Heh, dees silly dorfs. We're only jokin' gobbo! Only jokin!

No... wait,it's a crocodile...

BLEIGH! RAWR! RARGLBARGLE! Hssssssssss...
Logged
Quote from: Mister Always on April 12, 2011, 04:21:33 pm
Huochong sounds like what you hear when a ninja hits somebody with a frying pan.

"HUOOOOOOOOOO-"
*CHONG*

SpiralDimentia

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Re: Seige? What? No we're tourists.
« Reply #9 on: April 10, 2011, 05:51:51 am »


Oh.... dammit.

Update;


EVERYONE WITH ARMS! DON'T LET IT THROUGH! KILL KILL KILL!

Update2;



I'll... I'll be damned. Throwing EVERYONE into various squads and having them punch it to death... worked. And if I recall the numbers correct... only 1 casualty. I can't believe that actually worked.
« Last Edit: April 10, 2011, 06:07:07 am by SpiralDimentia »
Logged
Dragonwork, A Successful Failure.
Legacy of Insightshields
Many more made tales in this hall,
before the stronghold found it's fall.
An enemy none could stop or yield,
had taken over Insightshields.

Starver

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Re: Seige? What? No we're tourists.
« Reply #10 on: April 10, 2011, 06:06:21 am »
Quote from: SpiralDimentia on April 10, 2011, 05:38:51 am
my previous standing military was decimated...
...what?  They refused to go into battle and thus were punished by being forced to draw lots to see which 10% of the unit should be summarily executed by the remaining 90%, leaving a largely intact military force more likely to respond to orders in future?


/reclaiming the term "decimated", or at least trying to persuade people that it shouldn't be considered a near synonym of "annihilated".
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Guedez

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Re: Seige? What? No we're tourists.
« Reply #11 on: April 10, 2011, 08:15:29 am »
Quote from: SpiralDimentia on April 10, 2011, 05:51:51 am
I'll... I'll be damned. Throwing EVERYONE into various squads and having them punch it to death... worked. And if I recall the numbers correct... only 1 casualty. I can't believe that actually worked.

They all were whrestleres(or something) right? that means each will take a limb and hold, if possible more than one will take a limb, and start to twist and stuff, eventualy it gets so twisted it explode, or maybe the ones who had no limbs to hold started to punch him...

too many whrestleres(or something) will hold anything, you just need enough and that they don't die before they start holding
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