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==Turn 7 of 25==
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18 turns remain
STATUS
Current Soundtrack: Second Lives - Vitalic Actions:For the purpose of sanity, summon my clothes, prime my rifle and march back in. Proceed to mutter the word "wankah" and pop a bullet into his head.
(...) You reverse summon the rest of your cloths. They all burn up in flames. You are naked now. -1 to dodge.
(...) You manage to do a barrel roll to avoid any flame damage however!
You storm back into the office, without clothing, and go to pop a shot.
(...)Your sniper rifle reverse summons itself the second you touch the trigger. It burns up in flames. You barrel roll again.
The receptionist, still sweaty, eyes you again and smiles coyly at your completely defenceless state.
(...)You do not want to talk about what happened.
You leave next turn with a broken pelvis. You are severely bleeding internally and require medical (and psychological) attention.
Find and devoour a number of small helpless animals to heal
(...) You don’t find anything. What are you, blind and toothless?
Begin searching the cockpit for some mining equipment, then hop out of my mech and mine it on foot.
AVATAR CHANGE. You lose the ability of SUPERFLY and your machine-gun leaves your inventory. (...) The mining equipment is in the APVs. One is at the Landing Zone and the other is with Frelock and Ex-Kirby.
You attempt to mine on foot with YOUR BARE HANDS.
(...) After scrapping through a bunch of rubble you find ONE UNIT OF UNOBTAINIUM.
It is slightly radioactive and mutates your BARE HANDS into BEAR HANDS. You are satisfied with the results.
Finish off wolfchild
(...) Using battle techniques from the 1980s you pop ‘n lock your way to victory.
(...) Wolfchild tries to do a counter on the dancefloor but only makes himself into a rookie, because you laid down the blue portal where he was about to start break dancing, and you shot the orange portal up in the clouds.
Wolfchild plummets to his death. His unit of Unobtanium bounces out of his corpse and lands somewhere kinda exactly halfway between Trol and Lan. Too bad they’re both blind and deaf, I bet they could sure use it!
Send out my retarded friend to gather unobtanium for me. Collect more followers myself.
(...) You send him off. He looks really confused. You aren’t sure if you’ll see him again.
You look around to collect some more followers.
(...) Because most of the Yagami around this region are dead thanks to your friend’s handiwork you decide to look elsewhere. You go down low and befriend an ant, telling him stories of vast sugary wealth. Through the hivemind you suddenly are linked to an entire ant colony 5 million strong. You have a direct line with the queen and she approves of your actions and is willing to serve your purposes.
Blend in with the populace using my blue skin.
(...) You slip right in with the two remaining Yagami, neither seems notices anything different about you.
(...) They decide to take you with them as they retreat. You will be in their Forward Operating Base next turn. They seem to think you’re the patrol leader and want you to report to the SUBCHEIFTAN about the mission you just led with them.
Status Player: BD The Mag
Abilities:
Baby don’t hurt me ,
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ,
Nickelback lover Currently: Being whisked away by two blue men.
Wounds:
Light bleeding Severe bleeding Broken right arm Moderate bleedingInventory: 2 x
crack-cocaine , 1 x flare gun,
acoustic guitarPlayer:
Trollan Abilities:
Portal! , Lan:
Echo-Location Achilles sensor Currently: Standing over a dead wolf. Lan is seriously low on fluids and starts only being able to move like an 80s dancer doing the robot. You’re both completely blind and deaf.
Wounds: Trol: Missing arm,
significant dings light scratches Permanent sensory damage. , Lan:
Permanent sensory damage. significant dings Running dryPALE COLOUR Inventory: 2 x portals, Lan: 1 x flare gun Trol:
Victorian prosthetic armPlayer:
Frelock Abilities:
Wordsmith ,
Extremely flammable. Currently: KING OF THE ANTS, has a meeting with the Cheiftan next turn.
Wounds:
One book destroyedInventory:
1 x bookmark , 1 x flare gun.
Player: Wolfchild
Abilities:
Courage Wolf ,
Lone wolf ,
UV Teeth,
TOOTHLESS Currently: Dead
Wounds:
Severe BleedingInventory: ONE UNIT OF UNOBTANIUM, 1 x
used flare gun Player: Ex-Kirby
Abilities:
Killing spree! ,
Damn spies! Currently: Does not want to talk about it. REALLY DOES NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.
Wounds:
Moderate bleeding,
Light bleeding Pelvis bruising,
SEVERE BLEEDING,
Inventory:
pair of scissorsPlayer: Krath
Abilities:
Battery Operated ,
Bear hands Currently: Changing his Avatar midgame.
Wounds: None
Inventory: 1 x beam saber, 1 x flare gun, ONE UNIT OF UNOBTANIUM