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[Phantom]

Crush can on forehead.

Nyet.

[Darvi]

Crush can on forehead.

Aye.

[Fniff]

You grip the can, and slam the bottom of it against your head. It crushes with a satifying cracking sound.

You then notice something on the cameras. It's the military android area, the door to it is opening. Ah shit, this is not good. You try to close the doors, but something keeps overriding your commands. You even try to shut down the entire facility just to shut the doors, but it is refusing that too.

Ah shit. You are going to get fired.

In this insane moment of chaos, you remember Adrian, your old friend from teenager hood. You grew up with him in New York, and you both liked each other. He beat the bullies up, you provided smart comments. He was a quiet type who wasn't that smart but he was strong and brave. You knew him up until collage, when you wandered away from each other. You remember the last thing he said to you was expressing his excitement at being enrolled in the military.

God, you really should call him.

[Bdthemag]

Call Adrian and state that you love him while heavily intoxicated.

[Phantom]

>That's it, grab you're Aperture Science issue Mossberg and SIG P220 and take those androids out.

>And you should also remember that Adrian was a snarky badass when it came to fighting, and that he hoped he didn't have to end up fighting weird shit.

Call Adrian and state that you love him while heavily intoxicated.

Double nyet.

[Fniff]

You prepare to get amazingly drunk when the phone rings. You don't know the number. You answer it.

"Y'hello?"
"Leon! It's Adrian! How you been, buddy?"
"Hey, Adrian. I just about to ring you there, how you been?"
"Fine, thanks for asking. Guess what? Not only did I get in the military, I also got in to this thing called HECU!"
"Oh sweet man, what's it like?"
"Well, we have to deal with shit no-one else wants to deal with! It's like a videogame or something! It's amazing! Anyway, how are you?"
"I joined Aperture Science!"
"...Oh. Well...Good for you then?"
"What's wrong?"
"Well...The stock for your company just went down amazingly. And the government isn't funding you."
"Ah...That is not good. Combined with the fact that highly trained military androids have just broken out, this is a bad day."
"Wait, what?"
"See you then, Adrian!"

You hang up. You remember he did have a few good quips when it came to fighting. Christ, you hope this never happens to him.

You search for your Standard Issue Sub Machine Gun, and manage to find it. You look at the stock, and you see a swan carved into it. Yeah, this is yours.

"Weeeeeeeee--COME TO APERTURE SCIENC---eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee- WHERE AM I?" The announcement blares with alternating speeds. Suddenly, the sounds of partying stop. Someone screams, and suddenly you hear machine guns firing.

Ah shit. The androids got out. You hear them march off. There is a piercing silence.

[Phantom]

>Shit. Quick, take them down before they get your girlfriend.


>Shephard: Start thinking out loud.

[Fniff]

You burst out of the room to kill those damn androids, when you see the damage they did.

There are no corpses. Just bits and pieces. Oh, and blood. Lots of blood. You start to panic when you reconize your girlfriend's necklace, still attached to what may be her neck.

"Hello Leonardo, please ignore the blood." The announcements keep talking the crazy talk. You are starting to realize the announcements sound electronic.

[Phantom]

>FUUUUUUUUU-


>Murder. Just murder them all. You will get out, join the HECU and get sent back here to murder them all.
>Oh and experience Denial, that CAN'T be her.

[Fniff]

You realize that there is only one thing needed for this.

Revenge.

You shout to attract the androids, and they run at you. Their white legs are stained with blood, their arms holding massive machine guns. This is time for action!

You shoot until you run out, you beat them with the stock until it breaks, you hit them with kicks and punches until your hands and feet bleed. They die satisfyingly, but they don't stop coming. Eventually, one claws your eye out, and everything goes dark as you slowly go unconscious...

*

You wake up. You are in a dark corridor which smells of oil and industry. It must be a maintenance area. How did you end up here?

[Phantom]

Double crap, now you need to get into the vents. After all, Black Mesa had those vents...

You should get to engineering, the reactor needs to get shut down. And your friend, Dave, should be there with an Aperture Science exoskeleton too.

[Fniff]

The thought pops into your head that you should got to the reactor to meet Dave, then you realize that Dave was an imaginary friend you made in kindergarden, who was also an alien is a suit that oddly looked like it was made by Aperture Science.

What the hell are you going to do, anyway?

[Phantom]

>...Get the hell out of this corridor, out of Aperture Science, heading to the American government and go off to sue Aperture Science?


In reality you should just be getting out of this corridor and find a working weapon of some kind, like a wrench! Or a screwdriver!

[Fniff]

You walk down the corridor, looking for a weapon. You find the corpse of a worker, seemingly dead from asphyxiation. In his hands, he grips a pair of...

Oh come on. He is gripping on pliers. Goddammit, is this what you have to use as a weapon? It sucks as a blunt weapon and a sharp one too! It's like a combination of the worst aspects of bats and knives.

[Phantom]

>Search his corpse, there may be something useful on these engineering crackheads! And you should probably use the fabric of his clothing to make an eyepatch.

Oh and take the pliers.