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Author Topic: You are an Aperture Science Employee.  (Read 6670 times)

Phantom

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Re: You are an Aperture Science Employee.
« Reply #105 on: April 05, 2011, 06:11:34 pm »
...Go back and try to find out the normal way.
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Fniff

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Re: You are an Aperture Science Employee.
« Reply #106 on: April 05, 2011, 06:15:42 pm »
You fire a portal into the ground and it leads out to the lab. You jump down into it.

Christ, they managed to make a portal gun...That's utterly useless. That's Aperture Science for you.
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Phantom

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Re: You are an Aperture Science Employee.
« Reply #107 on: April 05, 2011, 06:17:09 pm »
Take it around with you and check the lab some more.
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Fniff

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Re: You are an Aperture Science Employee.
« Reply #108 on: April 05, 2011, 06:23:06 pm »
You search around some more, and find another gun. This time, it's marked "Time Gun" and has two dials. One for years, the other for AD and BC. You switch it to 1945 AD, and shoot at a pot.

*

Meanwhile, in 1945 AD...

"Sir, the Soviets are closing in. What do we do?" Asked the leader of the army. Hitler prepared his speech. He knew this plan would work, and save the entire country. The world would be ridden of the lesser castes, and the Aryans would prosper.

Then a pot fell on his head, and he died.

*

The pot disappears, and you somehow feel like you did something good.
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Darvi

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Re: You are an Aperture Science Employee.
« Reply #109 on: April 05, 2011, 06:23:33 pm »
Suwheet! Now we can shoot the droids into space!

Edit: Fuck no! Hitler's time travel exemption act man!
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Phantom

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Re: You are an Aperture Science Employee.
« Reply #110 on: April 05, 2011, 06:25:23 pm »
Find something actually...

Wait. Use that portal gun and keep switching until you find a place you know. You'll be home free!
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Fniff

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Re: You are an Aperture Science Employee.
« Reply #111 on: April 05, 2011, 06:27:41 pm »
(I just needed to get that out my system.)

You fire at a random inactive droid with the experimental portal gun, sending it to...Directly outside the facility. The portal turns off. AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGH!

You spend 10 minutes firing portals at the floor. It appears you will never get a chance like that again. Shit, the universe is BIG!
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Phantom

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Re: You are an Aperture Science Employee.
« Reply #112 on: April 05, 2011, 06:37:52 pm »
What, you couldn't even find a portal to a relatively inhabited place on Earth? What's wrong with you man?
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Fniff

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Re: You are an Aperture Science Employee.
« Reply #113 on: April 05, 2011, 06:41:32 pm »
You are annoyed with yourself for not being able to find a place on Earth, but then you realize that this portal gun sends to anyplace in the universe chosen at random. You then have an existential crisis about the fact that the planet you are on is so small while the universe is so large. It doesn't bother you too much, but man...
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Phantom

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Re: You are an Aperture Science Employee.
« Reply #114 on: April 05, 2011, 06:42:50 pm »
...Use it as a weapon while you keep trying to find a way out.
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Fniff

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Re: You are an Aperture Science Employee.
« Reply #115 on: April 05, 2011, 06:48:34 pm »
You wield it as a club while searching around for a way out. On the way, however, you activate the time gun that's on your back. You are suddenly sent to 2010 BC.

*

You seem to be in a forest. It's fairly normal.
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Darvi

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Re: You are an Aperture Science Employee.
« Reply #116 on: April 05, 2011, 06:50:55 pm »
Shoot some Celts into space.
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Fniff

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Re: You are an Aperture Science Employee.
« Reply #117 on: April 05, 2011, 06:52:49 pm »
You charge to fight some celts, and you stumble upon a celt village. Oh sahweet! Well, time to rule over them in and claim the lands as yours. Or do you want to?
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Darvi

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Re: You are an Aperture Science Employee.
« Reply #118 on: April 05, 2011, 06:55:03 pm »
What, no time paradox? Lame. Continue killing the Celtics until you've killed one of your ancestors.
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Fniff

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Re: You are an Aperture Science Employee.
« Reply #119 on: April 05, 2011, 07:01:20 pm »
Funnily enough, this gun actually has a post-it note saying "Managed to fix time paradoxes: Kill your ancestors with ease. Don't worry if your nationality changes."

*

Eventually, you managed to kill everyone in mainland Britain. It seems you are now Native American. What to do now?
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