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[Darvi]

Don' worry.

It's all Irony's fault anyway.

[IronyOwl]

Not my fault I was polymorphing before it was cool insanely difficult. :3

[Tarran]

Gah, I keep forgetting about drunkenness having people falling asleep. Whatever, I'll remove that part of the status effect.

Also, yes, I am getting faster in turns. Why? Because I feel like I owe you guys them for taking so long in the past.

MORE SLEEP

You sleep, regaining a laughable 1 HP.

You suddenly bolt awake with a sudden feeling of extreme danger as you hear ruckus a floor above. No one else seems to hear it, just you. You have the feeling that you should go to the Town Hall, NOW.

+1 HP.

Shenanigans.

You two converse between eachother, before feeling that some being in the universe (and a very, VERY powerful one at that) is pleased with you for being near the Town Hall.

Tala: -1 Chaos.

Scream towards the sky: "ARR ENN GEEEEEEEEE!"

You scream like an idiot.

Oh god. Oh god. What the-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGHHHH

OH GOD, NOW THERE'S A WAVE OF FIRE INCOMING!

-1 Chaos.
Lost Mutation: No legs.
+Status: Competing legs/thighbone mess: Cannot run, -4 to defense, -10 carrying capacity, -5 toughness.
+Status: Overencumbered: Cannot move, cannot defend.

Ouch, right on the Doom turn.

You really should've been smart and went to the town hall not not be an idiot and sit around.

Also, blame Ironyowl, not the RNG. Irony gave you the frog legs.

Follow <whoever i was with> 

Try to get the golem to obey me. If this fails, run like hell. If this succeeds, get it to follow me.

Either way, head back to Toi and see Dostricht about our reward, and any further business he might have.

Darin attempts to ask the Golem really nicely to obey him. [Conversation: 6-3=2] If he actually had some skill in talking he may have had been able to convince it. As it stands, he greatly pissed it off.

Time to run away!

Darin: +3 Conversation skill.
Darin: -1 Chaos.
Nowan: -1 Chaos.

Nowan: [6][Luck: 4] Nowan rushes away at the speed of light, running down a very flat area, in which he puts a LOT of distance between him and the golem. The golem doesn't even try to catch up.
Darin: [4+1][Luck: 1] Darin runs desperately, getting very far away. However, he was not watching where he was going, and finds himself tripping in a very hazardous rock outcropping (-2 to first running roll next time you run).
Durnneran: [5-1][Luck: 2] Durnneran runs angrily at Darin, catching up after he trips. He finds himself in difficult terrain (-1 to first running roll next time you run).

Nowan suddenly notices a extremely tall wave of sand coming very, very quickly. Run?

Darin also notices something, a huge storm wave... in the hot desert. With a TON of lightning. And since you're in a desert, you are bound to get fried. Hard.

Sleep, dream of beating dragon's about with the brand new mace-tail.

[1][Lucidity: 4]: PONIES.

You wake up, to the sound of a wave of ponies coming. They look... angry. Oh god.

+4 HP.
-1 Chaos.

"I... I'm sorry, I can't..."
Desperately high major polymorph Joseph’s legs away

[3-3][Tricky: FAILED, doesn't really matter though]: You turn the man's legs into a mass of misslocated bones and bent legs. Oh man...

There's absolutely no way he can do anything at all now with his legs. They're also internally bleeding...

Joseph: +Status: Mass Screwup of Legs: Cannot run, cannot move, -6 to defense, -20 carrying capacity, -5 toughness, drain 1 HP per turn.
Acridi: +1 Polymorph Magic skill.

Hot damn, that sucks for you Darvi. Looks like Asilidae has to carry you or you'll die.

Oh, and, Acridi sees an advancing wall of pure chaos. That has no effect on anyone else, but you wouldn't want to try it.



Anyway, the button has been pressed. Do note that you guys are the only ones seeing/feeling the terrors, so villagers or other players will look at you like you're crazy if you're trying to talk to them about it. Also, if you try to run from it, you'll automatically be lead to the Town Hall without penalties.

Don't lollygag, the threats WILL kill you.

Spoiler: IronyOwl (click to show/hide)

Name: Darin.
Gender: Male.
HP: 29/32.
Chaos: 22/80.
Encumbrance: 66/70.
SLP: 5/6.
Level: 1.
Items:
  Human Skin-Bound Tome. (Equipped)
  Fingerbone-Laced Black Robe. (Equipped)
  Rib Shield. (Equipped)
  Kris. (Equipped)
  Satchel.
  Small Hourglass.
  Inkwell.
  Quill.
  Parchment.
  Specimen Bottles.
  1 Overreactive Black Perfect Average Soulstone.
  Overreactive Multicolored Great Average Soulstone.
  Silver Warhammer.
  Silver Nugget.
  Bronze Shield.
  13 gold.
  Wine Bottle.
Skills:
  Adept Necromancy 19/24.
  Novice Defense 8/16.
  Adept Healing magic 21/24.
  Novice Crafter 10/16.
  Novice Shield magic 11/16.
  No skill Earth magic 1/4.
  No skill Polymorph magic 3/4.
  No skill Conversation 3/4.
  Beginner Bartering 7/8
Attributes:
  10 Strength.
  10 Agility.
  12 Toughness.
  31 Intelligence.
  10 Charisma.
Status:
Soul in Perfect Soulstone: You have to carry the soulstone or your body will fall limp.
Additional Arms: You can wield up to 4 melee weapons/shields at a time. However, if you do so you will face a -1 penalty to all actions from any items in your hands (it's harder to control four limbs than two).
Mutation: Centaur: +10 HP. -1 Defense. Can kick in melee for +4 damage. Normal armor now only has 1/2 chance of working (doesn't cover horse body). +1 to running away. Cannot stand easily on slippery or tilted surfaces. +20 carrying capacity.
Location:
Near Deep Whispers Entrance.
Spells:
  Shield:
    Minor Kinetic Shield.
    Minor Chaos shield.
  Necromancy:
    Average Soulstone creation (necromancy magic).
    Life Siphon.
    Major Life Siphon.
    Damaging Soul Trap.
  Healing:
    Minor Healing.
    Healing.
    Major healing.
    Minor Healing Mist.
  Polymorph:
    High Major Polymorph.

Spoiler: TolyK (click to show/hide)

Name: Nowan Ilfideme.
Gender: Male.
HP: 8/27.
Chaos: 36/80.
Encumbrance: 38/50.
SLP: 6/8.
Level: 2.
Items:
  Enchanted Aluminum Armor. (Equipped)
  Enchanted Aluminum Main hand Shield. (Equipped)
  Aluminum Offhand Shield. (Equipped)
  Potion of Liquidation
  Scroll of Scare Undead.
  Potion of Minor impact.
Skills:
  Skilled Earth magic 24/36.
  Skilled Polymorph magic 24/36.
  Novice Shield magic 11/16.
  Beginner Defense 4/8.
Attributes:
  10 Strength.
  11+5=16 Agility.
  20-5=15 Toughness.
  30 Intelligence.
  0 Charisma.
Status:
Angelic Wings: +1 to convincing people that you're good. -2 to intimidation. People will often confuse you as an angel. Can fly.
Mutation: Thin Arms and Legs: +5 Agility, -5 Toughness.
Location:
Near Deep Whispers entrance.
Spells:
  Polymorph:
    Major Polymorph.
  Earth:
    Trivial Earth Shaping.
    Earth shaping.
    Major Earth Shaping.
    Minor Earth spike.
  Shield:
    Minor magic reflection shield.
    Magic reflection shield.
    Minor Physical Barrier.
    Major Physical Barrier.

Spoiler: Serious Concentrate (click to show/hide)

Name: Ashton D'Aubrani.
Gender: Male.
HP: 51/51.
Chaos: 0/80.
Encumbrance: 45/125.
SLP: 2/4.
Level: 0.
Items:
  Steel Armor. (Equipped)
  Steel Spear.(Equipped)
  Potion of Critical Heal.
  Dragon Scale Pincer-Gauntlets.
  *Starting bonus* Enchanted Steel Armor.
Skills:
  Beginner Spears 4/8.
  Novice Defense 12/16.
  Novice Wrestling 8/16.
Attributes:
  25 Strength.
  10 Agility.
  30 Toughness.
  0 Intelligence.
  0 Charisma.
Status:
Somewhat Drunk: 2/5 drunkenness, -1 to talking to non-drunks, -1 to mentally intensive actions, -1 to running away, -1 to-hit. Determination rolls have +2, attacks do +2 damage. 4 turns to loose a point in this. Can attempt to throw up to speed up drunkenness loss.
Location:
Toi; Town Hall.

Spoiler: Draignean (click to show/hide)

Name: Arzhog the Mad Drunk.
Gender: Male.
HP: 25/43.
Chaos: 4/80.
Encumbrance: 51/100.
SLP: 4/6.
Level: 1.
Items:
  Leather Armor. (Equipped)
  Smelly Rags.
  Cursed everfull wine bottle. (Equipped)
  filthy food.
  Map of near-Toi areas with an X on the map.
  7 Gold Coins.
  Fine Iron Shortsword.
  Durnneran's clothed skinned fleshed mace-tail. (Equipped)
Skills:
  Adept Misc Object user 19/24.
  Novice Defender 8/16.
  Novice conversation 8/16.
  No Skill Crafting 3/4.
Attributes:
  20 Strength.
  20 Agility.
  25 Toughness.
  0 Intelligence.
  4-4=0 Charisma.
Status:
Accepted in Toi: +1 to talking to people from Toi.
Moderately drunk: 3/5 drunkenness, -1 to talking to non-drunks, -1 to mentally intensive actions, -2 to running away, -2 to-hit. Determination rolls auto-succeed, attacks do +5 damage. 3 turns to loose a point in this. Can attempt to throw up to speed up drunkenness loss.
Tail-wielding Left Arm: -4 Charisma. Useless for everything but wielding the dragon's tail. Penalty reduced to -1 to-hit.
Location:
Random Accurarwa camp

Spoiler: Darvi (click to show/hide)

Name: Joseph Alan Taylor.
Gender: Male.
HP: 11/20.
Chaos: 29/80.
Encumbrance: 25/-5.
SLP: 1/4.
Level: 0.
Items:
  Bronze Shortsword. (Equipped)
  Pine Crossbow. (Equipped)
  Fancy Leather Armor. (Equipped)
  Pimp Hat. (Equipped)
  Lute Lyre.
  3 gold coins.
Skills:
  Basic Shortsword 6/8.
  Basic Crossbow 4/8.
  Basic Conversation 6/8.
  Novice Air magic 15/16.
  Basic Chaos magic 7/8.
  No-skill crafting 1/4.
Attributes:
  5 Strength.
  15 Agility.
  10 Toughness.
  15+10*0.55=14 Intelligence.
  20 Charisma.
Status:
Mutation: Scattered Brain Tissue: +10 max Intelligence, current Intelligence equal to percentage of max HP you have rounded up.
Spider-arranged Frog Legs: +3 to swimming. Legs need to be submerged at least once every five turns or you will start to drain HP (recently submerged 1 turn ago).
Competing legs/thighbone mess: Cannot run, -4 to defense, -10 carrying capacity, -5 toughness.
Mass Screwup of Legs: Cannot run, cannot move, -6 to defense, -20 carrying capacity, -5 toughness, drain 1 HP per turn.
Overencumbered: Cannot move, cannot defend.
Somewhat Drunk: 2/5 drunkenness, -1 to talking to non-drunks, -1 to mentally intensive actions, -1 to running away, -1 to-hit. Determination rolls have +2, attacks do +2 damage. 5 turns to loose a point in this. Can attempt to throw up to speed up drunkenness loss.
+Status: Slighty Watered: Can drink 2 more times without penalty. 2 turns to loose one point in this.
Location:
Toi: Town Square.
Spells:
  Chaos:
    Omega Chaos Irradiation.

Spoiler: Dwarmin (click to show/hide)

Name: Tala Sul.
Gender: Female.
HP: 21/22.
Chaos: 2/80.
Encumbrance: 28/100.
SLP: 2/4.
Level: 0.
Items:
  Leather Armor. (Equipped)
  Holy Amulet of Kikubaaqudgha. (Equipped)
  Carrying Pouch.
  Crystal Water Bottle.
  Cram Rations.
  Etched Blackwood Shortbow. (Equipped)
  Cylindrical red leather quiver.
  10 Bodkin Arrows (Equipped)
  Full Body Tattoo of a Red Dragon.
  2 Scrolls of Destroy Armor.
  Scroll of Minor Silence.
Skills:
  Novice Wrestling 10/16.
  Basic Bows 4/8
  Novice Fire Magic 8/16
  Novice Defense 8/16.
  No-skill Crafting 1/4.
  No-skill Conversation 1/4.
Attributes:
  20 Strength.
  20 Agility.
  10 Toughness.
  15 Intelligence.
  0 Charisma.
Status:
Slightly Drunk: Stage 1 out of 5 of drunkenness. -1 to mentally intensive actions, -1 to talking to non-drunks. 4 turns to loose on point in this. Can attempt to throw up to speed up drunkenness loss.
Location:
Toi: Town Hall.
Wrestling Stances:
  Defensive:
   Iron Turtle.

Spoiler: Asilidae (click to show/hide)

Name: Brother Acridi.
Gender: Male.
HP: 21/21.
Chaos: 0/80.
Encumbrance: 18/50.
SLP: 1/4.
Level: 0.
Items:
  Priest's Robe.
  Book of Methkarik’s Teachings.
  Waterskin.
  Rations.
  6 White Candles.
  Bedroll.
  Small Oak box.
  Potion of High Major Fireball.
Skills:
  Novice Polymorph Magic 11/16.
  Beginner Healing Magic 4/8.
  Beginner Longswords 4/8.
  Beginner Wrestler 4/8.
  Beginner Defense 4/8.
Attributes:
  15 Strength.
  20 Agility.
  10 Toughness.
  20 Intelligence.
  0 Charisma.
Status:
Normal.
Location:
Toi: Town square.
Spells:
  Polymorph:
    High Major Polymorph.

Spoiler: Taricus (click to show/hide)

Name: Taric.
Gender: Male.
HP: 14/16.
Chaos: 0/80.
Encumbrance: 38/50.
SLP: 2/4.
Level: 0.
Items:
  Iron Scale mail Hauberk.
  Iron Halberd.
  5 Steel-tipped Javelins
  Leather Boots.
Skills:
  Novice Polearms 8/16.
  Novice Conversation 8/16.
  Beginner Crafting 4/8.
  Beginner Throwing 4/8.
Attributes:
  10 Strength.
  10 Agility.
  10 Toughness.
  10 Intelligence.
  25 Charisma.
Status:
Unconscious.
 Ridiculously drunk: 5/5 drunkenness, -4 to talking to non-drunks, -4 to mentally intensive actions, autofail at running away, -10 to-hit, dream Lucidity rolls auto-fail. Determination rolls auto-succeed, attacks do +5 damage, enemies have -5 to choose targeting you. Loose 1 HP per turn. Any further drunkness results in a 5 HP loss and immediate unconsciousness. 3 turns to loose a point in this. Can attempt to throw up to speed up drunkenness loss.
Location:
Westside Inn.

Allies or Friendlies:

Deep Whispers:

Spoiler: (Ally) Darin's Undead Giant Bat (click to show/hide)

11 HP
Under control of: Darin.
Vulnerabilities:
Resistances:
-100% damage: Cold.
-20% damage: Heat.
-75% damage: Air.
Specials:
Giant Bat Bonuses/Penalties: +3 to-hit. -1 damage.
Undead: Cannot heal.
Location:
Near Deep Whispers Entrance.
Status:
Undead: Self explanatory.

Enemies and Hostiles:

Deep Whispers Entrance:

Spoiler: Durnneran-soul Golem (hostile) (click to show/hide)

48 HP
Items:
None.
Vulnerabilities:
+10% Water.
+20% Force.
+40 Necromancy.
Resistances:
-50% Earth.
-80% Air.
-80% Fire.
Specials:
Inorganic: Does not suffer from many aliments organic creatures suffer from. Cannot be healed normally.
Unlife: Technically not living. Various different things happen than normal.
Effective Attributes: 30 Strength, 5 Agility, 20 Toughness, 10 Intelligence, 0 charisma.
Skills: Skilled Wrestling. Adept Defense.
Golem Bonuses/Penalties (each creature gets their own non-human bonuses from now on): +4 damage. -1 To-hit. -1 to defense.
Durnneran's Soul: The Soul of Durnneran, a boss, is in this golem. Durnneran is quite a bit more powerful than your average dragon. +1 to-hit, +4 damage, +1 to defense.
Location:
Near Deep Whispers Entrance.
Status:
Odd body: -3 To-hit, -5 damage, and -3 defense for 3 turns until he gets used to the new body.

Random Accurarwa Camp:

Spoiler: Accurarwa Recruit 1 (enemy)(unseen) (click to show/hide)

10/10 HP
Items:
Bronze Spear: -2 to damage 1/2 chance to deal +3 critical. (Equipped)
Bronze Shield: 10 AHP. 1/2 chance to take all damage. (Equipped)
Leather armor: 20 AHP. Takes 1/3 of damage dealt to user. (Equipped)
2 Steel-tipped Javelins: 1d8 damage.
Vulnerabilities:
None.
Resistances:
None.
Specials:
Various misc skill bonuses: 1/2 chance for +1 to spears. 1/2 chance for +1 to defense. -1 to throwing.
Poor spellcaster: -2 to casting.
Pack animal: +1 to attack rolls if nearby ally has <3 HP.
Location:
Random Accurarwa camp.
Status:
Normal

Spoiler: Accurarwa Recruit 2 (enemy)(unseen) (click to show/hide)

9/9 HP
Items:
Bronze Sword: -1 to damage. (Equipped)
Fine Bronze Shield: 12 AHP. 1/2 chance to take all damage. (Equipped)
Leather armor: 20 AHP. Takes 1/3 of damage dealt to user. (Equipped)
2 Steel-tipped Javelins: 1d8 damage.
Vulnerabilities:
None.
Resistances:
None.
Specials:
Various misc skill bonuses: 1/2 chance for +1 to swords. 1/2 chance for +1 to defense. -1 to throwing.
Poor spellcaster: -2 to casting.
Pack animal: +1 to attack rolls if nearby ally has <3 HP.
Location:
Random Accurarwa camp.
Status:
Normal

Spoiler: Accurarwa Recruit 3 (enemy)(unseen) (click to show/hide)

13/13 HP
Items:
Bronze Spear: -2 to damage 1/2 chance to deal +3 critical. (Equipped)
Wood Shield: 5 AHP. 1/2 chance to take all damage. (Equipped)
Leather armor: 20 AHP. Takes 1/3 of damage dealt to user. (Equipped)
2 Steel-tipped Javelins: 1d8 damage.
Vulnerabilities:
None.
Resistances:
None.
Specials:
Various misc skill bonuses: 1/2 chance for +1 to spears. +1 to defense. -1 to throwing.
Poor spellcaster: -2 to casting.
Pack animal: +1 to attack rolls if nearby ally has <3 HP.
Location:
Random Accurarwa camp.
Status:
Normal

Spoiler: Accurarwa Sergeant (enemy)(unseen) (click to show/hide)

15/15 HP
Items:
Iron Sword: No modifiers. (Equipped)
Iron Shield: 20 AHP. 1/2 chance to take all damage. (Equipped)
Hardened Leather armor: 25 AHP. Takes 1/3 of damage dealt to user. (Equipped)
Vulnerabilities:
None.
Resistances:
None.
Specials:
Various misc skill bonuses: +1 to Swords. +2 to Defense.
Poor spellcaster: -2 to casting.
Low-level Leader: Allies of lower level attacking same target get a 1/2 chance for +1 to damage.
Pack animal: +1 to attack rolls if nearby ally has <3 HP.
Location:
Random Accurarwa camp.
Status:
Normal

Anyway, shout out any errors.

[Taricus]

Entity can wait until I'm not so drunk. Sleep.

[Tarran]

You're really going to commit suicide?

[Taricus]

Not like I could move right now.

[Tarran]

Did you even read the turn? >_>

Anyway, the button has been pressed. Do note that you guys are the only ones seeing/feeling the terrors, so villagers will look at you like you're crazy if you're trying to talk to them about it. Also, if you try to run from it, you'll automatically be lead to the Town Hall without penalties.

Also, that only applies to RUNNING, not walking.

[IronyOwl]

Flee lightning storm and/or golem.

[Taricus]

Stumble off to the town hall.

[SeriousConcentrate]

Ashton looked towards the sky. "Smells like rain. I could be wrong, though." He gestured towards the town hall. "We might as well go in and ask around."

[Tarran]

...What? Dude, only Irony is seeing the storm, only Irony is having the storm, and only Irony is going to die from the storm if he didn't run away. I guess I didn't make that clear.

[SeriousConcentrate]

It's a meta-knowledge joke. More or less about how it's about to be raining characters at the town hall.

[Dwarmin]

Ashton looked towards the sky. "Smells like rain. I could be wrong, though." He gestured towards the town hall. "We might as well go in and ask around."

"You mean chaos rain, which randomly falls on those travelling openly in the westlands?

Oh wait, my magic guidebook says "Areas in the Westlands besides the occasional random swamp in the middle of nowhere are arid, and have little rain". Interesting.

Action: Ask around Town Hall. Avoid meta-perma-death.

[Tarran]

Actually, there's supposed to be very little swamps and very little water.

It's just that I've been a dolt and haven't followed with that. So disregard any swamps, rivers, brooks, or water puddles in the past besides the ones near Toi.

[Draignean]

Honestly?

I'm in a rocky outcropping in God knows where and I'm supposed to suddenly be inspired to head off to the town hall?

What are my odds if I attack the accurawa settlement?