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[Tarran]

Thanks for your zero posts guys! You sure are my best of friends!

Anyway, time to get this off the second page.

Try to heal everyone with a strong (+2 difficulty) spell used as AOE. "I said without a ring..." I say to Dostricht. No need to ask again, though, Nowan's already proved that can be done. I'll leave my brain as is though, that's not something I want messed with at all in any circumstances.

[1+1+1-2-1][Luck: 3]: You start obliterating life from you, the drunk, and Nowan (you're going to be put down to 0 HP). Oh god.

You three scream in pain as you feel as though a trillion needles prick your body from the inside out.

-12 HP.
Nowan: -11 HP.
Arzhog: -30 HP.
+1 Chaos.

Put pants on head and shoes on hands. Then look for clean water.

[6]: You put your pants on your head and your shoes on hands.

You can't see because of the pants on your head. Regardless, you try to find clean water half blind and having to crawl on your hands. [3-2-1]: You fall into a pool of chaos irradiated water. And since you have no legs, it's going to be hard to get out. CRAP!

[Good/bad: 1, VERY BAD][Strength: 6, Huge change][Mental/Physical: Physical][Passive/Active: Active] (you gotta be kidding me. THE EXACT SAME ROLL): You feel extremely sickly... then feel better as a little chaos goes away due to you laying in largely un-irradiated air. However, do note that you're still soaked in chaos-irradiated water... so it won't take long before you are mutated again. And again, and again, and again.

+10 Chaos.
-1 Chaos.
New mutation: Severely Weakened Body: -5 strength, -5 toughness, -5 agility, -5 charisma.
Lost mutation: Severely Weakened Body: -5 strength, -5 toughness, -5 agility, -5 charisma.

"Right over there thanks" *Point to a cart*

"Alright, here you go." He says as he drops it into a cart. "By the way, how the heck did you carry this thing here in the first place if you could barely lift it once you got here?"

Pick up Joseph and run him back to town, where there is clean water. Once at town, look for an alchemist that knows if dragon blood has any special properties.

You notice Joseph dunking himself into chaos irradiated water. Better get him out, ehh?

[6]: You, without even touching a tiny bit of the water, yank him out faster than he can blink. Then you put him on your back, irradiating yourself very slightly.

You then try to get him back to town. [Navigation: 3]: You only manage to make it to the outskirts after running around a little.

-1 Chaos.
+2 Chaos.

If Joseph is within range, polymorph him six lanky tropical frog legs, arranged like a spider's.
If Joseph is not within range, breathe fire at the sky.

Either way, head to town and search for a forge afterwards.

[6-3-1+1][Luck: 5]: You nearly fumble horribly with the incredibly complicated spell for a school you haven't even tried yet. However, you come in at the end and give Joseph six frog legs.

The only bad thing is that he is completely unused to using them, his brain is struggling to figure out the controls. And he needs to keep them submerged every once and a while. Also, it'd get pretty ugly if he lost his no-legs mutation...

You do this while following your most recent acquaintance back to Toi, since she's carrying your test subject.

-1 Chaos.
+3 Polymorph magic skill.
Joseph: Spider-arranged Frog Legs: -2 to running away, -1 to defense, and -1 melee combat for five turns (until you're used to them). +3 to swimming. Legs need to be submerged at least once every five turns or you will start to drain HP.

Wash self and the improv weapon/tail in wine. Get the polymorpher to give something to one of my arms to make it perfect for wielding the skeletal tail.

Wine is usually at least 75% water, and that water is not irradiated, so from your earlier posts I should be able to manage my radiation by bathing in and drinking of the infinite wine.

Yeah, I guess wine would work too. However, you have to actually drink the wine, since washing only washes off the surface of the chaos, not all that chaos inside yourself. Though I'll be nice and consider that to be what you wanted to do.

However, to prevent cheesy tactics, you will now be limited to how much water you can drink, with penalties if you drink too much.

Spoiler: What I mean (click to show/hide)

You can drink up to 3 encumbrance points, until you are full with water. You loose 1 encumbrance point per 3 turns (let's just say it evaporates from your body, or something). If you drink too much, you will begin to suffer penalties to various things and you will have to start rolling against throwing up (which prevents you from doing anything for the turn you throw up). Also, since you're, you know, drinking wine, I'll start giving Fun penalties/bonuses to that, too.

Nearly dying from a horribly casted spell from one of the two others next to you, you take a swig of wine, completely ignoring that you almost died, washing down the chaos. You loose 5 chaos in the process.

You then talk to the polymorpher. You hope that this is a good idea and not some silly thing you thought up in five seconds.

+Status: Slightly Watered: Can drink 2 more times without penalty. 3 turns to loose one point in this.
+Status: Slightly Drunk: Stage 1 out of 5 of drunkenness. -1 to mentally intensive actions, -1 to conversation 5 turns to loose on point in this.
-5 Chaos.
+1 Chaos.
+2 Chaos.

Follow <Draignean>'s request.

After nearly dying, you listen to the random drunk and follow his request.

[1-1+1+2][Luck: 5]: You nearly fumble, but eventually horribly mangle his other (non-bottle) arm. It is now extremely ugly, muscled, and long. It is however now useless for everything but wielding that tail.

Arzhog: Tail-wielding Left Arm: -4 Charisma. Useless for everything but wielding the dragon's tail. Penalty reduced to -1 to-hit.
+1 Chaos.

Politely question Taric about his reasons for coming to Toi and wearing his own weight in armor.

You ask this man about why he has come and why he is carrying his weight in armor. In the creepiest way possible, of course.

Я сдаюсь.

Dostricht leaves the group and heads back to Toi. He doesn't speak a word to any of you guys. You think you might've gave off a bad impression...

Caution: Joseph has 7 HP left.
WARNING: Kirion has 0HP left!
WARNING: Nowan has 0HP left!
WARNING: Arzhog has 0HP left!

Spoiler: IronyOwl (click to show/hide)

Name: Darin.
Gender: Male.
HP: 25/28.
Chaos: 28/80.
Encumbrance: 69/70.
SLP: 5/6.
Level: 3.
Items:
  Human Skin-Bound Tome. (Equipped)
  Fingerbone-Laced Black Robe. (Equipped)
  Rib Shield. (Equipped)
  Kris. (Equipped)
  Satchel.
  Small Hourglass.
  Inkwell.
  Quill.
  Parchment.
  Specimen Bottles.
  1 Overreactive Black Perfect Average Soulstone.
  1 Overreactive White Great Average Soulstone.
  Overreactive Multicolored Great Average Soulstone.
  Good Iron Spear.
  Bad Copper Longsword.
  Silver Warhammer.
  Silver Nugget.
  Bronze Shield.
Skills:
  Adept Necromancy 19/24.
  Novice Defense 8/16.
  Adept Healing magic 21/24.
  Beginner Crafter 7/8.
  Novice Shield magic 11/16.
  No skill Earth magic 1/4.
  No skill Polymorph magic 3/4.
Attributes:
  10 Strength.
  10 Agility.
  12 Toughness.
  29 Intelligence.
  10 Charisma.
Status:
Soul in Perfect Soulstone: You have to carry the soulstone or your body will fall limp.
Additional Arms: You can wield up to 4 melee weapons/shields at a time. However, if you do so you will face a -1 penalty to all actions from any items in your hands (it's harder to control four limbs than two).
Mutation: Centaur: +10 HP. -2 Defense. Can kick in melee for +4 damage. Normal armor now only has 1/2 chance of working (doesn't cover horse body). +1 to running away. Cannot stand easily on slippery or tilted surfaces. +20 carrying capacity.
Location:
Toi outskirts.
Spells:
  Shield:
    Minor Kinetic Shield.
    Minor Chaos shield.
  Necromancy:
    Average Soulstone creation (necromancy magic).
    Life Siphon.
    Major Life Siphon.
    Damaging Soul Trap.
  Healing:
    Minor Healing.
    Healing.
    Major healing.
    Minor Healing Mist.

Spoiler: TolyK (click to show/hide)

Name: Nowan Ilfideme.
Gender: Male.
HP: 0/19.
Chaos: 41/80.
Encumbrance: 38/50.
SLP: 6/7.
Level: 3.
Items:
  Enchanted Aluminum Armor. (Equipped)
  Enchanted Aluminum Main hand Shield. (Equipped)
  Aluminum Offhand Shield. (Equipped)
  Potion of Liquidation
  Scroll of Scare Undead.
  Potion of Minor impact.
Skills:
  Adept Earth magic 19/24.
  Skilled Polymorph magic 24/36.
  Novice Shield magic 11/16.
  Beginner Defense 4/8.
Attributes:
  10 Strength.
  11+5=16 Agility.
  18-5=13 Toughness.
  30 Intelligence.
  0 Charisma.
Status:
Angelic Wings: +1 to convincing people that you're good. -2 to intimidation. People will often confuse you as an angel. Can fly.
Mutation: Thin Arms and Legs: +5 Agility, -5 Toughness.
Mutation: Casting Critical Fail Save: 1/3 chance of critical fails acting as normals.
Mutation: Motion-sensing eyesight: You can see anything moving, no matter the lighting. However, you cannot see anyone standing still.
Location:
Deep Whispers: Dragon cave.
Spells:
  Polymorph:
    Major Polymorph.
  Earth:
    Trivial Earth Shaping.
    Earth shaping.
    Major Earth Shaping.
    Minor Earth spike.
  Shield:
    Minor magic reflection shield.
    Magic reflection shield.
    Minor Physical Barrier.
    Major Physical Barrier.

Spoiler: Serious Concentrate (click to show/hide)

Name: Kirion D'Aubrani.
Gender: Male.
HP: 0/18.
Chaos: 56/80.
Encumbrance: 35/55.
SLP: 5/6.
Level: 2.
Items:
  Bronze Shortsword.
  Bronze Shield.
  Leather Armor. (Equipped)
  Potion of Critical Heal.
  Dragon Scale Pincer-Gauntlets. (Equipped)
Skills:
  Beginner Shortswords 4/8.
  Skilled Healing magic 27/32.
  Novice Defense 8/16.
  Beginner Conversation 4/8.
  Beginner Necromancy 6/8.
Attributes:
  11 Strength.
  10 Agility.
  12 Toughness.
  21-2=19 Intelligence.
  15 Charisma.
Status:
Mutation: Pincer Hands: Cannot wield any items (no shield blocking included). -1 to casting (difficulty with aiming with pincers). +4 wrestling damage.
Mutation: Enhanced Lungs: +1 to physically intensive actions. However, if you do 3 physically intensive actions in a row with no breaks and you do not have an improved heart, you will have to roll against collapsing while at the same time loosing 1 HP per turn.
Mutation: Missing something vital in mind: -2 Intelligence.
Mutation: Bat Wings: Can fly.
Location:
Deep Whispers: Dragon cave.
Spells:
  Healing:
    Trivial Healing.
    Healing.
  Necromancy.
    Minor Vampiric Touch.

Spoiler: Draignean (click to show/hide)

Name: Arzhog the Mad Drunk.
Gender: Male.
HP: 0/31.
Chaos: 5/80.
Encumbrance: 51/100.
SLP: 4/5.
Level: 0.
Items:
  Leather Armor. (Equipped)
  Smelly Rags.
  Cursed everfull wine bottle. (Equipped)
  filthy food.
  Map of near-Toi areas with an X on the map.
  7 Gold Coins.
  Fine Iron Shortsword.
  Durnneran's clothed skinned fleshed mace-tail. (Equipped)
Skills:
  Adept Misc Object user 19/24.
  Novice Defender 8/16.
  Novice conversation 8/16.
  No Skill Crafting 3/4.
Attributes:
  20 Strength.
  20 Agility.
  25 Toughness.
  0 Intelligence.
  2-4=-2 Charisma.
Status:
Accepted in Toi: +1 to talking to people from Toi.
Slightly Watered: Can drink 2 more times without penalty. 3 turns to loose one point in this.
Slightly Drunk: Stage 1 out of 5 of drunkenness. -1 to mentally intensive actions, -1 to conversation 5 turns to loose on point in this.
Tail-wielding Left Arm: -4 Charisma. Useless for everything but wielding the dragon's tail. Penalty reduced to -1 to-hit.
Location:
Deep Whispers: Dragon Cave.

Spoiler: Darvi (click to show/hide)

Name: Joseph Alan Taylor.
Gender: Male.
HP: 7/16.
Chaos: 39/80.
Encumbrance: 25/25.
SLP: 1/4.
Level: 0.
Items:
  Bronze Shortsword. (Equipped)
  Pine Crossbow. (Equipped)
  Fancy Leather Armor. (Equipped)
  Pimp Hat. (Equipped)
  Lute Lyre.
  3 gold coins.
Skills:
  Basic Shortsword 6/8.
  Basic Crossbow 4/8.
  Basic Conversation 6/8.
  Novice Air magic 15/16.
  Basic Chaos magic 7/8.
  No-skill crafting 1/4.
Attributes:
  5 Strength.
  15 Agility.
  10 Toughness.
  15+10*0.4375=11 Intelligence.
  20 Charisma.
Status:
Mutation: Scattered Brain Tissue: +10 max Intelligence, current Intelligence equal to percentage of max HP you have rounded up.
Mutation: No legs: You cannot move from place to place without help, and you cannot dodge. Well, at least you still have hands!
Spider-arranged Frog Legs: -2 to running away, -1 to defense, and -1 melee combat for five turns (until you're used to them). +3 to swimming. Legs need to be submerged at least once every five turns or you will start to drain HP (recently submerged 0 turns ago).
Location:
Outside Deep Whispers.
Spells:
  Chaos:
    Omega Chaos Irradiation.

Spoiler: Dwarmin (click to show/hide)

Name: Tala Sul.
Gender: Female.
HP: 15/16.
Chaos: 6/80.
Encumbrance: 28/100.
SLP: 2/4.
Level: 0.
Items:
  Leather Armor. (Equipped)
  Holy Amulet of Kikubaaqudgha. (Equipped)
  Carrying Pouch.
  Crystal Water Bottle.
  Cram Rations.
  Etched Blackwood Shortbow. (Equipped)
  Cylindrical red leather quiver.
  10 Bodkin Arrows (Equipped)
  Full Body Tattoo of a Red Dragon.
  2 Scrolls of Destroy Armor.
  Scroll of Minor Silence.
Skills:
  Novice Wrestling 10/16.
  Basic Bows 4/8
  Novice Fire Magic 8/16
  Novice Defense 8/16.
  No-skill crafting 1/4.
Attributes:
  20 Strength.
  20 Agility.
  10 Toughness.
  15 Intelligence.
  0 Charisma.
Status:
Normal.
Location:
Toi outskirts.
Wrestling Stances:
  Defensive:
   Iron Turtle.

Spoiler: Asilidae (click to show/hide)

Name: Brother Acridi.
Gender: Male.
HP: 16/16.
Chaos: 0/80.
Encumbrance: 18/50.
SLP: 1/4.
Level: 0.
Items:
  Priest's Robe.
  Book of Methkarik’s Teachings.
  Waterskin.
  Rations.
  6 White Candles.
  Bedroll.
  Small Oak box.
  Potion of High Major Fireball.
Skills:
  Novice Polymorph Magic 8/16.
  Beginner Healing Magic 4/8.
  Beginner Longswords 4/8.
  Beginner Wrestler 4/8.
  Beginner Defense 4/8.
Attributes:
  15 Strength.
  20 Agility.
  10 Toughness.
  20 Intelligence.
  0 Charisma.
Status:
Normal.
Location:
Toi: Town square.

Spoiler: Taricus (click to show/hide)

Name: Taric.
Gender: Male.
HP: 16/16.
Chaos: 0/80.
Encumbrance: 38/50.
SLP: 2/4.
Level: 0.
Items:
  Iron Scale mail Hauberk.
  Iron Halberd.
  5 Javelins.
  Leather Boots.
Skills:
  Novice Polearms 8/16.
  Novice Conversation 8/16.
  Beginner Crafting 4/8.
  Beginner Throwing 4/8.
Attributes:
  10 Strength.
  10 Agility.
  10 Toughness.
  10 Intelligence.
  25 Charisma.
Status:
Is Taricus: Oh dear god NOOOOOOOO!
Location:
Toi: Town square.

Allies:

Deep Whispers:

Spoiler: Darin's Undead Giant Bat (click to show/hide)

11 HP
Under control of: Darin.
Vulnerabilities:
Resistances:
-100% damage: Cold.
-20% damage: Heat.
-75% damage: Air.
Specials:
Innate hunter: +3 to attack roll.
Claws: -1 to damage.
Undead: Cannot heal.
Location:
Deep Whispers: Dragon Cave.
Status:
Undead: Self explanatory.

Enemies:

None.
By ASAP I meant "as soon as I feel like it because I'm a lazy son of a gun".

Enjoy. And enjoy any fails on this turn.

[Taricus]

"I don't know. I just fell out of the sky" HEAD TO THE BAR, taking the cart with me.

[Darvi]

SC! D:

Man, I will be like, the only survivor if it keeps going like this.

Scuttle around looking for unirradiated water. Swimming tiems!

[SeriousConcentrate]

Yeah, fuck healing spells. Next character is not going to use magic at all since that only kills allies.

Trade everything I'm carrying to Arzhog for his delicious fudz and chow down like there's no tomorrah.

[Dwarmin]

Mutant horrors abound! D:

Get to Toi-look for an alchemist that knows if dragon blood has any special properties.

EDIT: Someone better pluck that Potion of Critical Heal from SeriousConcentraters corpse.
Also, don't die man! You've got so much to live for!

[Darvi]

Die instantly so I can make a new character that's purely physical based.

[1] You fail to die. Instead, you miraculously gain immortalty and will be stuck with this sucky character. Forever!

[SeriousConcentrate]

That's likely to happen. *sigh* Actually if that happens I can just vanish into thin air. :3

[Draignean]

Yeah, fuck healing spells. Next character is not going to use magic at all since that only kills allies.

Put everything I'm carrying on the ground so people can grab it easily. Die instantly so I can make a new character that's purely physical based. Try to make my death a heroic sacrifice that gives Nowan and Arzhog at least 3 HP back.

OH PLEASE NO.

Honestly, you'll kill both of us and survive.

Here, take the rotten food that Arzhog has and eat that if you REALLY want to die.

[SeriousConcentrate]

You have the moldy sandwich? How the hell did you get that? I thought Greenmoore had it last.

Oh well. Editing action for maximum noms.

[Darvi]

Oh, and if I say forever, I mean it. This means your other RTD characters will be replaced, and every game you joined will have to deal with him. Expect every other player in this subforum to lock him in a cellar or something.

[SeriousConcentrate]

Not happening. Evar.

[Darvi]

You do realize that I'm gonna insert him as a cameo in my RTD right?

[Draignean]

You have the moldy sandwich? How the hell did you get that? I thought Greenmoore had it last.

Yeah, he dropped it in the future and it fell through a cross-dimensional rift into D-22, it then splattered across the scanner of an alien vessel in a faraway galaxy and caused a chain reaction which obliterated over four-hundred different sentient species before it was sucked into a black hole and ended up in Arzhog's pocket.

But you know, that shit just happens.

Out of curiosity Tarran, would eating some of the dragon's flesh restore any health?

[Taricus]

Aliens in D-22?!

YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS

[SeriousConcentrate]

There were, didn't you just read that they all died?

@Darvi: Oh God. He'll kill the whole party.

...Let me guess. This fat fuck Kirion's gonna be my Denizen, isn't he? Good luck for me then, he'll just kill himself and I won't have to lift a finger.