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[SeriousConcentrate]

Given how luck rolls generally turn out, that's probably an accurate fix... >.>

[IronyOwl]

Remember I'll be (theoretically) hitting everyone with an AoE heal necromantic damaging spell also.

Fixed.

On the bright side, it'll hit enemies also. That doesn't help us right now, but it does mean I'm refining a valid battle strategy.

[TolyK]

Still wasn't bolded, still wasn't an in-game request. If it's not bolded, it's not an in-game action.

I know, but he did ask (not that you had to do it )

So, my stuff:
Get out of the cave and fix <Serious>'s lungs/whatever.
Then irony. Then "Draignean". Then myself

[Draignean]

Well If I'm going to get polymorphed it's not going to be for a tail. A super-liver maybe but not a tail.

Pare the flesh from the dragon's tail, leaving only the bone and the club end. (Hopefully reducing the chaos emission and making it more wieldy) Wrap the part of the skeletal tail opposite the club in the rags I used to be wearing. Request an increased muscle mass polymorph.

(Drunk dual-wielding of a skeletal tail of a dragon and a wine bottle. Badass incompetence here I come.)

[Asilidae]

Help Taricus to his feet.
Smile warmly
"Hello there. You must be new to these lands. Look around you. Gaze upon the citizens of Toi. Aren't they beautiful? Don't you long to be like them? To let your body grow and change unhindered by silly notions of how a man should look?"
Make direct eye contact for too long while smiling warmly.

[Tarran]

Oh great, both of the two new players are already insane.

This is going to be fun.

[Tarran]

Ask for help standing up.

You plead out for help. [1+3] Despite using a load of swear words, your overwhelming charisma eventually gets someone to try and pick up your spare armor. [NPC Strength: 6] The super-human picks up the damn thing with one hand in his first attempt. He asks you where you would like the armor to be dropped off.

Then... someone else offers help and stares you right in the eyes. Oh dear lord. He's freaking creepy.

-Enchanted Super-Plate Steel Armor.
-Status: Over encumbered.

Help Taricus to his feet.
Smile warmly
"Hello there. You must be new to these lands. Look around you. Gaze upon the citizens of Toi. Aren't they beautiful? Don't you long to be like them? To let your body grow and change unhindered by silly notions of how a man should look?"
Make direct eye contact for too long while smiling warmly.

You help the stranger to his feet, then stare at him while speaking about how wonderful mutations are. [Creep out roll: 6] He seems unaffected. [Creep out roll NPC: 3] Everyone else, however, backs away very slowly.

Give pincer-gauntlets to Kirion. Cast -1 difficulty AoE heal, then head back to town, suggesting everyone else follow suit. Try to find a forge when I get to town, unless other things come up.

"So Dostricht, what's that armor you're wearing? Got any other jobs for us? How do you feel about necromancers? Do you have a daughter?"

You give your gauntlets to Kirion and [6-1+1+1][Luck: 1] suck the life out of everyone in the room. Smart. See, this is why you really should stop trying to be a healer.

Darin: -1 HP.
Nowan: -2 HP.
Kirion: -3 HP.
Arzhog: -1 HP.
Tala: -1 HP.
Dostricht: -3 HP.
Darin's Bat: Unaffected.

You get angry glares from the rest of the room... You decide that you should step out for a little bit and get a little head start until they all calm down...

You then ask Dostricht various unimportant fluffy fluff questions. He responds, a little bitter from your fail-heal: "This is Tungsten armor. Very hard to find in large quantities. I found deep in dungeon from adventuring days. It is heavy as Ад but is stronger than steel and does not get damaged by fire.

Yes, her name is Annya, she is five years old. I was trying to name her Bretta, but wife used her wifely ways on me. Heh heh. Also have son, Volstov, 4 years old. I managed to outtalk wife on him, though. Heh heh."

That's the last thing you hear from him, though, as you go to the exit of the cave. You then find out you're the only one that's leaving for town. Everyone else is sitting near the cave's surface or inside it.

[Navigation: 2]: Not having paid enough attention when being lead here, you walk around in a complete circle. Dostricht is standing outside the cave, shouting "Back so soon? I thought you left."

+3 Healing Magic skill.
-Dragon Scale Pincer-Gauntlets.
Dostricht: Item identified: Tungsten Armor.

Use chaos magic to slightly irradiate self. Don't want to lose that int bonus, do we?

[4][Luck: 1]: You attract a lot of chaos onto yourself. More than you wanted. Say hi to another mutations. Oh well, it definitely could be worse than this.

[Good/bad: 1, VERY BAD][Strength: 6, Huge change][Mental/Physical: Physical][Passive/Active: Active]: Your legs disappear. Entirely. You fall onto the ground. Oh for crying out loud!

Ouch... at least you learned the first Omega spell in the game. Though I highly doubt you'll be casting it again any time soon.

-1 Chaos.
+7 chaos.
New mutation: No legs: You cannot move from place to place without help, and you cannot dodge. Well, at least you still have hands!
+2 Chaos magic skill.
New spell: Omega Chaos Irradiation.

Take gauntlets and wear them, then help Darin up, thank him, and leave the cave. "Only problem with that is a ring isn't any use to me." Click pincers together to show my point. "Do they come in other types of accessories, like... a belt or an earring or something? And can a polymorpher get rid of certain mutations without my wearing such an accessory?" If so, ask Nowan to restore the lungs, but hold on having him mess with my brain until I have the item just in case. Once he's done, cast a +0 modifier healing spell on him.

You wear the gauntlets, then talk to Dostricht a little more. "Hmm, maybe. Though I don't think it very likely, and it could be even more expensive. You could wear the ring on your feet, you know. You could also see if one of our local mages can create a binding like that.

I thought I had made that clear already; yes, you can get rid of mutations with polymorphers while wearing ring."

You then ask Nowan to help with the mutations, and try to follow up with Darin's Phail with another healing, hopefully succeeding and not failing horribly. [6+1-1][Luck: 1] Methinks I jinxed it. Dostricht seems to be pretty mad right about now. "How about you fools all stop casting healing magic on me?! I'm not test subject! Leave me out of it!" he says before he walks to the outside of the cave.

+3 Healing magic skill.
+1 Chaos.
Dostricht: -4 HP.

Action:Follow everyone out the cave

You leave the cave.

Exciting! You dance in victory, netting the looks of Dostricht, who is starting to wonder how you guys are even surviving up until now.

Then he has the look of "It's all because of me, isn't it?" He sighs and facepalms slowly.

Get out of the cave and fix <Serious>'s lungs/whatever.

You are going to get out of the cave, but realize that Kirion isn't leaving so you stay behind. You attempt to help with Kirion's lungs. [6-1+2+1][Luck: 6]: You make Kirion's lungs much, much larger and more efficient than they were before. However, his heart is going to have problems keeping up if he works his lungs too hard.

+1 Chaos.
+3 Polymorph magic.
Now Skilled in Polymorph magic.
Level Up! Pick two attribute points.
New spell: Minor Polymorph.
Kirion: Status change: Very Small Lungs>Enhanced Lungs.

Pare the flesh from the dragon's tail, leaving only the bone and the club end. (Hopefully reducing the chaos emission and making it more wieldy) Wrap the part of the skeletal tail opposite the club in the rags I used to be wearing. Request an increased muscle mass polymorph.

[Crafting: 5-1]: You remove the flesh from the tail, successfully avoiding weakening the tail too much. However, it barely reduces the emmisons since the mace-tail is where most of the chaos is. At least it's a tiny bit lighter. Still very difficult to use. You wrap the end of the tail with your old rags for some reason.

You request a polymorph, but the local polymorpher is busy with someone else.

+3 Crafting skill.
Durnneran's mace-tail>Durnneran's clothed skinned fleshed mace-tail.
+1 Chaos.
+2 Chaos.
Caution: Joseph has 7 HP left.

Spoiler: IronyOwl (click to show/hide)

Name: Darin.
Gender: Male.
HP: 25/28.
Chaos: 29/80.
Encumbrance: 69/70.
SLP: 5/6.
Level: 3.
Items:
  Human Skin-Bound Tome. (Equipped)
  Fingerbone-Laced Black Robe. (Equipped)
  Rib Shield. (Equipped)
  Kris. (Equipped)
  Satchel.
  Small Hourglass.
  Inkwell.
  Quill.
  Parchment.
  Specimen Bottles.
  1 Overreactive Black Perfect Average Soulstone.
  1 Overreactive White Great Average Soulstone.
  Overreactive Multicolored Great Average Soulstone.
  Good Iron Spear.
  Bad Copper Longsword.
  Silver Warhammer.
  Silver Nugget.
  Bronze Shield.
Skills:
  Adept Necromancy 19/24.
  Novice Defense 8/16.
  Adept Healing magic 21/24.
  Beginner Crafter 7/8.
  Novice Shield magic 11/16.
  No skill Earth magic 1/4.
Attributes:
  10 Strength.
  10 Agility.
  12 Toughness.
  29 Intelligence.
  10 Charisma.
Status:
Soul in Perfect Soulstone: You have to carry the soulstone or your body will fall limp.
Additional Arms: You can wield up to 4 melee weapons/shields at a time. However, if you do so you will face a -1 penalty to all actions from any items in your hands (it's harder to control four limbs than two).
Mutation: Centaur: +10 HP. -2 Defense. Can kick in melee for +4 damage. Normal armor now only has 1/2 chance of working (doesn't cover horse body). +1 to running away. Cannot stand easily on slippery or tilted surfaces. +20 carrying capacity.
Location:
Outside of Deep Whispers.
Spells:
  Shield:
    Minor Kinetic Shield.
    Minor Chaos shield.
  Necromancy:
    Average Soulstone creation (necromancy magic).
    Life Siphon.
    Major Life Siphon.
    Damaging Soul Trap.
  Healing:
    Minor Healing.
    Healing.
    Major healing.
    Minor Healing Mist.

Spoiler: TolyK (click to show/hide)

Name: Nowan Ilfideme.
Gender: Male.
HP: 11/19.
Chaos: 40/80.
Encumbrance: 38/50.
SLP: 6/7.
Level: 3.
Items:
  Enchanted Aluminum Armor. (Equipped)
  Enchanted Aluminum Main hand Shield. (Equipped)
  Aluminum Offhand Shield. (Equipped)
  Potion of Liquidation
  Scroll of Scare Undead.
  Potion of Minor impact.
Skills:
  Adept Earth magic 19/24.
  Skilled Polymorph magic 24/36.
  Novice Shield magic 11/16.
  Beginner Defense 4/8.
Attributes:
  10 Strength.
  11+5=16 Agility.
  18-5=13 Toughness.
  30 Intelligence.
  0 Charisma.
Status:
Angelic Wings: +1 to convincing people that you're good. -2 to intimidation. People will often confuse you as an angel. Can fly.
Mutation: Thin Arms and Legs: +5 Agility, -5 Toughness.
Placed Shield: Cannot place shields for 4 turns.
Mutation: Casting Critical Fail Save: 1/3 chance of critical fails acting as normals.
Mutation: Motion-sensing eyesight: You can see anything moving, no matter the lighting. However, you cannot see anyone standing still.
Location:
Deep Whispers: Dragon cave.
Spells:
  Polymorph:
    Major Polymorph.
  Earth:
    Trivial Earth Shaping.
    Earth shaping.
    Major Earth Shaping.
    Minor Earth spike.
  Shield:
    Minor magic reflection shield.
    Magic reflection shield.
    Minor Physical Barrier.
    Major Physical Barrier.

Spoiler: Serious Concentrate (click to show/hide)

Name: Kirion D'Aubrani.
Gender: Male.
HP: 12/18.
Chaos: 55/80.
Encumbrance: 35/55.
SLP: 5/6.
Level: 2.
Items:
  Bronze Shortsword.
  Bronze Shield.
  Leather Armor. (Equipped)
  Potion of Critical Heal.
  Dragon Scale Pincer-Gauntlets. (Equipped)
Skills:
  Beginner Shortswords 4/8.
  Skilled Healing magic 27/32.
  Novice Defense 8/16.
  Beginner Conversation 4/8.
  Beginner Necromancy 6/8.
Attributes:
  11 Strength.
  10 Agility.
  12 Toughness.
  21-2=19 Intelligence.
  15 Charisma.
Status:
Mutation: Pincer Hands: Cannot wield any items (no shield blocking included). -1 to casting (difficulty with aiming with pincers). +4 wrestling damage.
Mutation: Enhanced Lungs: +1 to physically intensive actions. However, if you do 3 physically intensive actions in a row with no breaks and you do not have an improved heart, you will have to roll against collapsing while at the same time loosing 1 HP per turn.
Mutation: Missing something vital in mind: -2 Intelligence.
Mutation: Bat Wings: Can fly.
Location:
Deep Whispers: Dragon cave.
Spells:
  Healing:
    Trivial Healing.
    Healing.
  Necromancy.
    Minor Vampiric Touch.

Spoiler: Draignean (click to show/hide)

Name: Arzhog the Mad Drunk.
Gender: Male.
HP: 30/31.
Chaos: 7/80.
Encumbrance: 51/100.
SLP: 4/5.
Level: 0.
Items:
  Leather Armor. (Equipped)
  Smelly Rags.
  Cursed everfull wine bottle. (Equipped)
  filthy food.
  Map of near-Toi areas with an X on the map.
  7 Gold Coins.
  Fine Iron Shortsword.
  Durnneran's clothed skinned fleshed mace-tail. (Equipped)
Skills:
  Adept Misc Object user 19/24.
  Novice Defender 8/16.
  Novice conversation 8/16.
  No Skill Crafting 3/4.
Attributes:
  20 Strength.
  20 Agility.
  25 Toughness.
  0 Intelligence.
  2 Charisma.
Status:
Accepted in Toi: +1 to talking to people from Toi.
Deep Whispers: Dragon Cave.
Location:
Somewhere.

Spoiler: Darvi (click to show/hide)

Name: Joseph Alan Taylor.
Gender: Male.
HP: 7/16.
Chaos: 30/80.
Encumbrance: 25/25.
SLP: 1/4.
Level: 0.
Items:
  Bronze Shortsword. (Equipped)
  Pine Crossbow. (Equipped)
  Fancy Leather Armor. (Equipped)
  Pimp Hat. (Equipped)
  Lute Lyre.
  3 gold coins.
Skills:
  Basic Shortsword 6/8.
  Basic Crossbow 4/8.
  Basic Conversation 6/8.
  Novice Air magic 15/16.
  Basic Chaos magic 7/8.
  No-skill crafting 1/4.
Attributes:
  5 Strength.
  15 Agility.
  10 Toughness.
  15+10*0.4375=11 Intelligence.
  20 Charisma.
Status:
Mutation: Scattered Brain Tissue: +10 max Intelligence, current Intelligence equal to percentage of max HP you have rounded up.
Mutation: No legs: You cannot move from place to place without help, and you cannot dodge. Well, at least you still have hands!
Location:
Outside Deep Whispers.
Spells:
  Chaos:
    Omega Chaos Irradiation.

Spoiler: Dwarmin (click to show/hide)

Name: Tala Sul.
Gender: Female.
HP: 15/16.
Chaos: 5/80.
Encumbrance: 28/100.
SLP: 2/4.
Level: 0.
Items:
  Leather Armor. (Equipped)
  Holy Amulet of Kikubaaqudgha. (Equipped)
  Carrying Pouch.
  Crystal Water Bottle.
  Cram Rations.
  Etched Blackwood Shortbow. (Equipped)
  Cylindrical red leather quiver.
  10 Bodkin Arrows (Equipped)
  Full Body Tattoo of a Red Dragon.
  2 Scrolls of Destroy Armor.
  Scroll of Minor Silence.
Skills:
  Novice Wrestling 10/16.
  Basic Bows 4/8
  Novice Fire Magic 8/16
  Novice Defense 8/16.
  No-skill crafting 1/4.
Attributes:
  20 Strength.
  20 Agility.
  10 Toughness.
  15 Intelligence.
  0 Charisma.
Status:
Normal.
Location:
Outside Deep Whispers.
Wrestling Stances:
  Defensive:
   Iron Turtle.

Spoiler: Asilidae (click to show/hide)

Name: Brother Acridi.
Gender: Male.
HP: 16/16.
Chaos: 0/80.
Encumbrance: 18/50.
SLP: 1/4.
Level: 0.
Items:
  Priest's Robe.
  Book of Methkarik’s Teachings.
  Waterskin.
  Rations.
  6 White Candles.
  Bedroll.
  Small Oak box.
  Potion of High Major Fireball.
Skills:
  Novice Polymorph Magic 8/16.
  Beginner Healing Magic 4/8.
  Beginner Longswords 4/8.
  Beginner Wrestler 4/8.
  Beginner Defense 4/8.
Attributes:
  15 Strength.
  20 Agility.
  10 Toughness.
  20 Intelligence.
  0 Charisma.
Status:
Normal.
Location:
Toi: Town square.

Spoiler: Taricus (click to show/hide)

Name: Taric.
Gender: Male.
HP: 16/16.
Chaos: 0/80.
Encumbrance: 38/50.
SLP: 2/4.
Level: 0.
Items:
  Iron Scale mail Hauberk.
  Iron Halberd.
  5 Javelins.
  Leather Boots.
Skills:
  Novice Polearms 8/16.
  Novice Conversation 8/16.
  Beginner Crafting 4/8.
  Beginner Throwing 4/8.
Attributes:
  10 Strength.
  10 Agility.
  10 Toughness.
  10 Intelligence.
  25 Charisma.
Status:
Is Taricus: Oh dear god NOOOOOOOO!
Location:
Toi: Town square.

Allies:

Deep Whispers:

Spoiler: Dostricht (click to show/hide)

Name: Dostricht Allacestace.
Role: Captain of the Guard.
Age: 38.
HP: 22/30.
Chaos: 41/80.
Level: 7.
Items:
  Unknown Longsword.
  Tungsten armor.
  Steel Shield.
  Ring of Mutation Hold.
Skills:
  Master Longswords.
  Skilled Defense.
  Adept Wrestling.
Attributes:
20 Strength.
15 Agility.
24 Toughness.
10 Intelligence.
10 Charisma.
Status:
Bladed tail: Can use in melee with Wrestling as skill and agility as attribute. +2 to damage.
Dragon Wings: Can fly.
Carapace: Takes 1/6 less damage.
Location:
Outside Deep Whispers.

Spoiler: Darin's Undead Giant Bat (click to show/hide)

11 HP
Under control of: Darin.
Vulnerabilities:
Resistances:
-100% damage: Cold.
-20% damage: Heat.
-75% damage: Air.
Specials:
Innate hunter: +3 to attack roll.
Claws: -1 to damage.
Undead: Cannot heal.
Location:
Deep Whispers: Dragon Cave.
Status:
Undead: Self explanatory.

Enemies:

None.
Tell me if I messed up anything.

Also, Irony, stop being a healer. In fact, stop doing anything that has the potential to hurt one of your teammates because your luck sucks.

[Darvi]

Now I only need some robot legs

Also, I have 7/8 Chaos magic now.

[Tarran]

...Wut?

[SeriousConcentrate]

Tarran, can I suggest a low luck roll have healing spells fail to do anything (including give points to the relevant skill, even if we did roll a 6) rather than actually hurt the party? At this rate Healing magic is going to kill more party members than enemies... And you should've known Taric would roll a 6 against being creeped out.

Try to heal everyone with a strong (+2 difficulty) spell used as AOE. "I said without a ring..." I say to Dostricht. No need to ask again, though, Nowan's already proved that can be done. I'll leave my brain as is though, that's not something I want messed with at all in any circumstances.

I'll ask for the matching heart later so you can get around to other people. ^^

[Tarran]

Tarran, can I suggest a low luck roll have healing spells fail to do anything (including give points to the relevant skill, even if we did roll a 6) rather than actually hurt the party? At this rate Healing magic is going to kill more party members than enemies...

Really? There's only a 1/6 chance (rolling a 1) of hurting other members, when there's a 4/6 chance (3, 4, 5, and 6) to succeed. I find that unlikely, unless the RNG loves to Shat on you guys.

And you should've known Taric would roll a 6 against being creeped out.

Yeah, silly me, thinking he would get something besides a six.

[SeriousConcentrate]

The universal constant of Taricus's characters is that nothing bothers them. Ever. >.>

[Darvi]

Put pants on head and shoes on hands. Then look for clean water.

[Taricus]

The universal constant of Taricus's characters is that nothing bothers them. Ever. >.>

"Right over there thanks" *Point to a cart*

[Dwarmin]

Pick up Joseph and run him back to town, where there is clean water. Once at town, look for an alchemist that knows if dragon blood has any special properties.

OOC: Assuming your good with going back to town now Darvi. Since I'm the only one with strength to carry you!