Underdark Intro with Irenicus, Drow Matron Mothers, Bodhi, Kittens and Rainbows that you must gather, before venturing forthWhaa--- Where are all the naked girls gone?! I'm no longer unconscious?!
THAT SUCKS! Why is it always the great dreams that end prematurely, and the terrible ones - like the dream about Candlekeep Geography lessons - drag on forever?! But that's not it. Whenever i wake up in the middle of the night - terrified by the perspective of having ANOTHER ten hour long lecture about the shape of Islands near Maztica - and turn the pillow, the OTHER SIDE IS WARM TOO!
How long was i lying here..? Let me use my superior intellect to determine the exact length of my downtime.
Judging from the rocks around me, i deduct, that i was out for.... divided by two.. times seven.. A LONG TIME!
But where have i found myself this time? I admit, i did some stupid things in the past - working in a greenhouse to name one - but not once have i found myself in a..
Just a minute. It's the Underdark!
This explains the drow sorcerer in Asylum. But where are the lunatics that were following me? And what happened to Pinky? She never..
What is this? They look like garden gnomes, except.. They walk!
Tell me, gnome : Have you seen a retarded demon-killing dwarf, a fully armored warrior of unspecified gender, a drooling barbarian, child-killing paladin and a druid-assassinette?
I shall start killing you then, until you learn to speak my language.
Gnome Warden : Whoa! Hold it right there!
It always works! Ahh, the wonders of intimidation. Have you seen the party?
Gnome Warden : So.. you were serious?
I didn't say "--walk into a bar", now did I?
Gnome Warden : Listen, buddy..
I'm not your buddy...
...pal.
Take me to your chieftain, tribe leader, pack leader, brood mother or whatever else that you call "important".
Gnome Warden : I will let you know, that we have a complex government system with two cabinets, all-citizen voting, electio--
*The Gnome just did not shut up, and went on about the political and economical situation in their.. due to lack of a better word, let us use "Bug-ridden village". Then, our brave, good-hearted hero could participate in the ceremonial singing of Gnome anthem**Then, the Gnomes offered trading with Stworca, but for some reason They didn't find his prices reasonable. It seems that the price on kidneys and lungs went up when the white Sorcerer was out of comission**Before answering the Sorcerers questions about his party, the Gnomes have asked him to perform a task. Aiding a human mage banish the elementals that swarm the caverns seemed to them like reasonable payment for an information..**..especially for a sorcerer as powerful as our hero, who could slay all of the annoying summons with ease..**..But the gnomes didn't know what he has asked for, and so an avalanche of events started. The Gnomes have been stripped from everything that was valuable and not nailed to the ground. Those nailed objects were burned down, along with their village, with every single one of the sneaky midgets trapped inside a closet. And as last..*..I hope that my services were satisfying, and that your relatives will also become customers. I had a wonderful time, thank you.
Alaya : FINALLY! GET ME OUT OF HERE!
Ohh! My beloved drow! Are you locked inside this thing?
Alaya : Where the hell have you been, i'm sitting in this device for almost a month now! No matter.. get me out!
Come now, it's a perfect opportunity to talk. Our relationship needs it. Till now it was always about killing, looting, me being your slave and so on. Why don't you tell me about your childhood instead? We have all the time in the world. Wait.. why don't i tell you about MY childhood? See, when i was three years old..
..and that's how i found you!
Alaya :..I suggest, that you do whatever is in your power to open my cage, or your future--
How should we name our dog? I was thinking.. Flipper.. Do you like dogs? I do, sometimes they taste funny though. Wait, what does that say..? I don't understand the drow language, oh well.
Alaya :Whatever you do, do NOT turn that facet! Whether it takes me a year or a century, i will find you. I will scour the planes looking for you. I WIL-
..You mean like this?
What is.. Oh, no..
Unbekannt? (Alaya) : Finally free! I'm burning with desire to hurt someone, which leads us to You.. What do you have to say, before i turn the next hours of your life into an orchestra of suffering?
..No hablo ingles?
Alaya : ..Not this time. Now, pull your pants down and bend over.
You are not my mom, to make demands like tha---
*Ooof*