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[Dante]

Journal of Stool the Dairy Guard, adventurer of the High Tools, 8 Obsidian 203

Rance, the new manager, has given birth to a girl. It's her and Bowie's second child.
I keep telling people there are far too many infant girls around here, but nobody takes any heed of me.
Karakzon just sniggers.

Seriously, what are the odds of another girl?

Not to be outdone, though, McClay announced at lunchtime that she was finished with her own little miracle. She made...



...Herself?

Weird.

The not-entirely-unsurprising word on the street is that Billy Bob like the huge gem for its sparkles.

However, it's been kind of ...difficult getting everyone's opinion on the new artefact. This is just one typical instance of many conversations around the fortress:

Me: Hey, have you seen McClay?
Stiric: Yes, she just ran past screaming 'success!'
Me: No, I mean, what do you think of McClay?
Stiric: Not bad.
Me: So you've seen it?
Stiric: Seen what?
Me: McClay.
Stiric: She's a she, not an it.
Me: No, I mean have you see what McClay made.
Stiric: No.
Me: Oh, right. McClay.
Stiric: Yes, what did she make, then?
Me: No! No, I mean, McClay is finished!
Stiric: Has she? What did she make?
Kisame, wandering up: Hey, have you seen McClay?
Me: Oh gods! I- I don't know myself, any more! Gah. Do you mean the legendary McClay?
Kisame: Well, I wouldn't call her legendary.
Me: Actually, now that I think of it, she is legendary now. I meant, do you mean the glittery McClay?
Kisame: What?
Stiric: Who?
Kisame: Who's on second.

[CatalystParadox]

Given time, I would have broken ALL his fingers.  Using a pickaxe is cheating

[Thatdude]

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! NO-ONE GOES BERSERK IN MY FORTRESS... and no it's not cheating. You could go get a pick yourself.

Also, I love my victory snoozes their like the dwarven equivalent to beauty sleep.

[billybobfred]

I don't know! Third base!

[Karakzon]

lol... monty python referance.

and nice play on the artifact.

[Bdthemag]

I loled at "Who's on second.", good work man keep it up

[CatalystParadox]

Actually, isn't Catalyst a miner?  I'm surprised he didn't have a pick.

[Dante]

Everyone has mining activated. So I'm pretty sure he dropped his pick the instant he was conscripted, and only encountered the berserker on his way to a stockpile to pick up a training sword.

[Dante]

Slime, Captain amongst refugees, 14 Obsidian, late winter

Ambush! There are dozens of them!

One of them is a fiend I and my fellows had encountered before. I almost slew her, myself. As militia captain, I promise that I in no way hid under a table when the goblins first came. That is just a ridiculous assertion to make.


...I think I'll sit this one out, though. I'm sure the other dwarves can handle a few goblins, and I – I'm in hospital with a bad case of scars. Serious scarring. I'll wait till the doctor discharges me, then I'll be right back on the front lines.



It has been a week since my husband Roseanvil perished. Nobody is talking about it. A good and noble dwarf, I'm sure he died a good and noble death.

PS, 15 Obsidian.

One of our stout dwarves is in a cage. I have no idea why.

PPS, 17 Obsidian.
Savi has been fighting furiously, wrestling the goblin attacking him to the ground. Normally placid as stone, he suddenly flew into a fit of murderous rage. It's quite frightening, from what I hear.


Meanwhile, some nobody named Eral has died – whipped to death. Don't really recall his face. Do you know, there isn't a speck of pig's milk in this fortress? Seriously, I'm dying here.

PPPS, 18 Obsidian.
Oh look, the caged dwarf is dead too. I suppose I should have told somebody he was there?

PPPPS, 20 Obsidian.
The goblins all perished in our traps, as I was confident they would.
Hmmm. Morul the herbalist has succumbed to infection. I didn't know the guy.

[Thatdude]

So much death and destruction in the migrant fort
I mean, don't you use burrows is a case of dwarven 'smarts' (herpderp dere's goblins dere, run away from the fort!)

[Savolainen5]

Whoa!  Savi's still alive!  Give that dwarf some weapons!  Actually, don't, if he's gonna die soon.

Also, how many dwarves are left in the isolated fortress?

[SlimyMarmot]

Excellent, it seems my good captain has embraced the necessary mindset for survival.

Once again, awesome fort. I hope it floods with babies just for the claustrophobic implications.

[Vorthon]

Hey. Interesting entries.

I haven't been on because the school firewall finally decided to block this place.

Also, the monty python reference was hilarious.

[Dante]

Cook's Log [by me, Yarf], 20 Obsidian, 203

We have exactly one sheep in our fortress. Our fortress has been sealed for more than a year, under a million tons of molten rock.



So... um... Yeah.

Billy Bob, eyes impossibly wide, has been squawking about building a shrine to this miracle birth. She's already trying to find a way to cut glass so that it 'looks amber', for the eyes.

I'm going to get drunk until the new year, and possibly the one after that.

[Dante]

Journal of Stool the Dairy Guard, adventurer of the High Tools, 2 Granite 204

Training continues excellently. My stomach held up twice as well to the new year celebrations as last time. I estimate in thirty years or so I'll be able to drink Skink-Killer under the table.

Anyway, with the new year comes another Stukosdaughter. This is nothing short of ridiculous.


Exactly how that ghost keeps getting her pregnant is a mystery to us all. Cough, cough, cough.