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[Criptfeind]

'Lets go with free berth.

Can I get my room now?'

[Hubris Incalculable]

"I thought not. Let's get this over with.
Name?
What would you like for breakfast: Continental, or Full Porky?
Newspaper: Blerontin Bugle, The Trumpet, The Saxaphone, or Kazoo?
How do you like your room: With a view? Corridor, or balcony?
Bed: Imperial? Presidential? Depotic?
Benevolent, or Dictatorial?
Fish?
Separate or En-suite?"

[Taricus]

"Continental, Trumpet, View, Dictatorial, no fish and en-suite."

[Hubris Incalculable]

"Good! Well, you certainly won't like the room you've got, then. You've been assigned to SuperGalacticTraveller class, Elevator 3, Floor 37, Room 12. And don't come whining to me for upgrades, beacause you won't get one. Krage!" And with that, the DeskBot folds herself up again.

"BellBot, to the embarkation lobby," chimes a pleasant voice over the P.A.

At that moment, Something that looks like a lampstand saunters in, and put's it's hands upon it's hips.
"Hi, I'm Krage," It says. "I'm your BellBot today. Hey, I see you're not carrying any luggage. That means that I can take a little time off, right away! And i see you're SuperGalacticTraveller class, so I guess you can find your own way to your room! Door's over there, Elevator's around someplace. Relax, keep cool, goodbye."

He then flippantly walks back out of the lobby.

[Taricus]

F(%&*%&%**^&^&%^ machine. go to our room. if unsatisfactory, go bash down the door to another room.

[Hubris Incalculable]

Disgruntled by the BellBot's lazy, rude, and arrogant personality, you stump angrily out of the door that the robot indicated. You find yourself in a colossal room, with white marble floors and friezes of heroic figures on the wall in brass. The room is shaped like a long oval, with a ring of columns around the centre, five metres from the wall. beyond the pillars is a railing, beyond which you see a deep hole, so deep that you cannot see the bottom. You're getting dizzy just looking. Along the opposite sides, you see two elevators running up and down. You walk around to them, and find that two of the pillars on that side are, in fact, elevators. However, neither of them is elevator 3. You walk back around to the other side, and find that elevator 3 is on this side. One problem, though. You can't find the button.

As you ponder this issue, the pleasant voice once again chimes: "Bing-Bong! We regret to announce that the ship is hurtling out of control through hyperspace. All passengers with insurance queries, please contact your ticket vendors."

Suddenly, your Pet beeps.

[Taricus]

"Oh sonovabitch." Head to the bridge.

[Hubris Incalculable]

You cannot find a door labelled "bridge, and even if you could, you suspect that SuperGalacticTravellers are not permitted there.

[Taricus]

OPERATE THE DAMNED ELEVATORS WITHOUT BUTTONS!

[Criptfeind]

Ask where the button is. I am sure the nice voice will tell you.

[Hubris Incalculable]

You ask aloud how you are to operate the lift. your pet beep, as if in response.

[Criptfeind]

We have a pet?

[Hubris Incalculable]

Your Personal Electronic Thing.

[Criptfeind]

Lets take a look at it.

[Hubris Incalculable]

You pull out your Personal Electronic Thing. On examination, you find that the beeping is notifying you of the control function, which allows you to remotely control various perts of the ship from about 3 metres away. At this moment, the only thing you are in range of is, in fact, elevator 3. you press the call button in your PET, and enter the lift.

Inside, you find another robot, this time attached to the wall by his waist, with only one arm, which is holding a lever which protrudes from his chest.

"Good day to you, Sir, Madam or Thing, " It says. "And a great deal better than some of the other days we've been having. Indeed, my old trouble has quite cleared up, so that it will be a pleasure to attend to your vertical transportation requirements."