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[Demonic Spoon]

Inspired to do this by this forum game which is in turn again inspired by/copied from Master of Magic and Countries at War.

So, Master of Magic time. I've played a couple of games before, but never above hard or anything like that. So I'm going to be playing as the Klackons starting on the plane of Myrror. My foreign policy will consist of killing, pillaging and generally destroying all who are not members of the supreme race(Klackons). Onwards, for the glory of the Hive!

Prologue: In the beginning

The Klackons have always been looked down upon by the lesser races for their intolerance of their inferiors, and these inferiors though weak seperately, have usually sufficed to block the Klackon from their destiny of world domination if they stood united, which they have been, being the vicious cowards that they were.

Until now. We are the Hivegodmind and it is our task to give the Klackons the tools to lead themselves to greatness.

First we the Hivegodmind shall influence the future Hiveworld of the Klackons to make conditions more favourable for them.

Only when faced with the harshest of difficulties in their quest can the Klackons grow strong enough to overcome them. The odds against them will be nigh impossible, but they are Klackons, the masters of war and expansion.

The Klackons shall once more have to attempt to prevail against all the lesser races, but it shall be a fractious time, with no singly leader of a unified front but four leaders fighting among themselves.

If there is one area where Klackons are sadly lacking, it is in their mastery over the dread seas with their uncontrollable nature and cursed wetness. Since defeat by forfeit of being unable to reach their foes would be a ignoble end which would be unavoidable we shall cause the seas the recede somewhat.

Magic, that overturner of the divine order of Klackon supremacy, yet Klackons can also turn it to their own purposes. As such, we will simply be limiting magic in the world to a certain extent, to allow Klackon military prowess to come to the fore.

Next we shall breed a emperor worthy of leading the Klackons to Victory:

DemonSpoon is a mysterious Klackon necromancer of unknown origins who keeps his fearsome face hidden from prying eyes, though his glowing red eyes are a testimony to his great eldritch power. His mastery over the dark arts of death, undeath and necromancy is second to none and all fear his dread power. He wears the great Imperial Crown of Klackdom, a sign of the Hivegodmind's favour.He has been tasked with leading the Klackons to freedom from the existance of lesser races.

Chapter 1: The Founding

Ugh, my head is killing me. How much killberry vodka did I drink last night? Where am I? Why is the sky purple? Are those hills different? Do I smell the sea? Ew. Why is there a crown on my head? Why won't it come off?! Seriously, why won't it come off?! Aargh!

DemonSpoon, unknown to him had been crowned emperor of all Klackdom as he had been destined from birth by the Hivegodmind, and his homecity, formerly known Ir-dak, had been redesignated to Foul Central of the Glorious Foul Empire of Klackdom and transported from Arcana to the plane of Myrror by the Hivegodmind to help him along in his quest. Before this he had been the local governor of then Ir-dak and had acquired a moderate mastery over the necromantic arts over the years. The Hivegodmind had deemed the time ripe to start the conquista however and thus the current situation.

DemonSpoon stood up, clutching his throbbing head in his hands. Ugh, this is almost as bad as my molting. Around him he saw other groaning heaps of recovering Klackons. (Teleportation is exhausting an a inexact science okay? Don't judge us, we're not incompetent!)

Fortunately Demon Spoon was quick to recover and reassert his authority:

"Does anyone know what happened? No? Well okay, I want some scouts exploring the surrounding countryside right now. You you and you head that away. You you and you head this away. What are you waiting for? Get moving!"

To be continued(Hopefully soon)

[Nivim]

 A double handicap game; klackons and death magic. Have you patched the game to ~1.4 so death magic isn't that much of a handicap?

[LordMelvin]

This should be... interesting.

Man, the Drizzties are gonna so clean your clock...

[Demonic Spoon]

A double handicap game; klackons and death magic. Have you patched the game to ~1.4 so death magic isn't that much of a handicap?

Got the 1.3.1 patch from Abandonia. And as seen here and here Klackons can be pretty badass.

Memorable Excerpt:

"Testing for the prototype of the new armoured assault beetle has begun, soon our glorious army shall take this marvel of Klackonian technology to the field. Outfitted with all the manner of features specially designed for peaceful humanitarian missions such as crushing mandibles and scorching fire-breath, it will be at the front of the liberty wave about to sweep over this poor oppressed globe!

This and other wonders are the product of the rising industrial might of our great nation, thanks to these factories soon the time will come for every insect, elf, orc, human and vaguely humanoid creature to receive the blessings of the technology of peace!"

I was planning to have the second installment up by now but then a dog bit me and that messed up my schedule a bit, maybe later.

[Demonic Spoon]

Chapter 2: The End

The scouts' mental reports starting flowing in and DemonSpoon was really glad that he had invested in that seerpool a few years back. It seemed that there were a few small halmets of lesser races scattered around, these would be burned to ground eventually but for now Demonspoon would concentrate his forces on scouting.

And then, one of the scouts suddenly reported the presence of a Guardian Spirit under the control of another wizard!

The blathering idiot who summoned the spirit then sent some patronizing messages to me about how he could share his wisdom and knowledge with us poor ignorant folks.

We rebuffed him of course and went on to scout his city's defenses, which were sadly very good, he had already managed to recruit two heroes to his cause!

Meanwhile, Demonspoon had finally finished summoning a spirit of his own and sent it out to begin scouting.

And that is when disaster struck. Demonspoon suddenly noticed raiders from one of the independent lesser race villages approaching Foul Central! Those vile fiends had no doubt somehow sensed that the mighty warriors of Klackon were busy elsewhere scouting out this strange land, and had decided to take their chance to nip the Klackon empire in the bud before it could destroy them.

Alas that is how the first attempt at Klackon Empire ends. The end was ignoble, but the Hivegodmind is not this easily defeated. It is but a minor setback, for the Hivegodmind shall try again with another village, resurrecting DemonSpoon from the dead and sending him out to try again.

May the hive be with you DemonSpoon

(Stupid Raiders. My first time playing impossible difficulty. Let's hope I do better next time.)

[EuchreJack]

One word: GARRISON!

[Zorgn]

The other gods are laughing at you, Hivegodmind. Show them how Klackons fight.

[Korbac]

What a bummer! 

Better luck next time.

[Myroc]

Man I would never be able to get myself to play as Klackon, at least as the main race. (I don't mind a city that can produce war beetles...) I'm too much of an infra-structure builder to go with fast-expanding conqueror builds, both in MoM and in Civ. I'll stick to my High Men, Orcs, and Nomads.

Will be watching this, though.

[Jopax]

Well that was fun
Do keep trying though, even if you fail every time in a hillarius manner it's still fun to see you try

[EuchreJack]

Indeed.  Nothing like a big buildup and failure.  Kinda like a dwarf fortress.  Besides, Klackton Death Magic Impossible Difficulty Myrror gives you lots of leeway for failure.

[Nivim]

Got the 1.3.1 patch from Abandonia.

Might want to try Kyrub's Insecticide Patch for the next game.

[Demonic Spoon]

Got the 1.3.1 patch from Abandonia.

Might want to try Kyrub's Insecticide Patch for the next game.

Trying it.

The other gods are laughing at you, Hivegodmind. Show them how Klackons fight.

The other gods have always been laughing at us. But they will pay, oh how they will pay for their insolence.

Chapter 3: Creating the Klackon Empire, Take Two

We have returned once more to Myrror! The inferiors shall fear our wrathful vengeance!

This time the former city of Ni-aru(Once again redesignated to Foul Central) was chosen as our next victim given the chance to lead the Klackon race to glory!

Whu? I thought I was dead?! What's going on? And where am I? I don't think we're in Ir-dak anymore Toto.

DemonSpoon had been returned to life(almost as good as new!) to die another swift and horrible death be honoured with receiving a second chance at leading the Klackons to domination over the lesser races. Once again he was quick to assume authority, you'd think he'd learn by now.

"You there! Yes you! Go scout or something! And you guard the city! The enemies of Klackdom are only waiting for the slightest sign of weakness to fall upon us like a pack of wild dogs! And you, build a granary!"

The scouts report 2 monster lairs and a sorcery node nearby, no sign of the inferiors yet. And the granary was completed. in other news, my cat is the cutest thing evar.

Scouting continues. I summoned a magical spirit help in our efforts. Sadly most interesting nodes, ruins and liars and the like are guarded by collosi, stone giants, demon lords, wyrms or similar.

I have raised some of the inferiors buried around here into ghouls though I think the amusing irony of being killed by their own dead may be lost upon the inferiors. The ghouls shall head a taskforce to a nearby hamlet of dwarves we have discovered. I expect good things. Our first group of settlers are also completed and are heading to location that our surveyors have marked out as ideal for a Klackon city.

Our settlers have founded the outpost of Foul Colony #1. Our strikeforce is still en route to the horrible infestation of little hairy midgets called BladeStone.

Lo Pan has cast just cause. Stupid inferiors, our cause is the only just one.

Our empire grows larger and stronger by the day.

The taskforce is assembled. Let us kill the inferiors for the glory of the Hive.

(Whuh? Bug? I immediately got the option to raze without fighting the defenders. Eh whatever, I'm not complaining.)

The cowardly inferiors turned tail fled as fast as their stubby little legs could carry them in the face our great might. We then proceeded to kill every last man, woman, child and eunuch of the lesser race's inhabitants of that village and burned it to the ground.

This is but a foretaste of the great purging that will soon sweep across the entirety of Arcana and Myrror. Glory to the Hive!

[Il Palazzo]

Re:

(Whuh? Bug? I immediately got the option to raze without fighting the defenders. Eh whatever, I'm not complaining.)

"strategic combat only" is a default setting in 1.40j, so try going to game, settings and unclicking the box.

[Demonic Spoon]

Ah, thanks.