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Author Topic: DWARVEN JUSTICE  (Read 1343 times)

ISGC

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DWARVEN JUSTICE
« on: March 27, 2011, 07:41:48 pm »
My very liked and much approved of mayor recently met up with a goblin ambush, escaping them for just long enough for a second ambush to appear and make him into a pin cushion.  Tantrum spiral!
Three subsequent dead mayors have either bled to death in their bed, dodged berserk dwarves into a moat of lava or died because a berserk dwarf went crazy in my hospital and killed 14 bed-ridden dwarves, my chief medical officer and my previous captain of the guard.
So in a stroke of utter stupidity I made my strongest axe dwarf my captain of the guard, but seeing how effective he was in the justice department, I let him keep his job.  So far he has given a beating (with his mighty axe of justice) to 19 dwarves for disorderly conduct.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I wish we could have our hammerer back :(

EDIT: I CAN'T BUILD COFFINS FAST ENOUGH
« Last Edit: March 27, 2011, 07:47:59 pm by ISGC »
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RTiger

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Re: DWARVEN JUSTICE
« Reply #1 on: March 27, 2011, 08:06:33 pm »
Thats rather typical. It is also why I build 4 mason workshops.
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Urist Imiknorris

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Re: DWARVEN JUSTICE
« Reply #2 on: March 27, 2011, 08:20:37 pm »
What are the ghost's crimes?
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Naryar

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Re: DWARVEN JUSTICE
« Reply #3 on: March 27, 2011, 08:41:56 pm »
Quote from: Urist Imiknorris on March 27, 2011, 08:20:37 pm
What are the ghost's crimes?

I bet he mandated the construction of an iron chain and ball, tantrumed, moaned in the mayor's office, and got JUSTICE'd.

Can berserk ghosts even attack enemies rather than dwarves ? It would be epically awesome if Urist McLegendaryMilitiaCommander rose back from the dead to fulfill it's promise to defend the dwarven nation and led it's dead subordinates against the gobbos, somehow like this :

http://lotr.wikia.com/wiki/Army_of_the_Dead
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SirAaronIII

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Re: DWARVEN JUSTICE
« Reply #4 on: March 27, 2011, 09:10:09 pm »
You could always arm your captain of the guard with a candy hammer, but that's no fun.
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MythagoWoods

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Re: DWARVEN JUSTICE
« Reply #5 on: March 27, 2011, 09:25:11 pm »
I make my captain always go unarmed that way he tends to just punch people once or twice, gets bored, and walks off.  Granted sometimes he strangles them to death instead.
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CapnUrist

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Re: DWARVEN JUSTICE
« Reply #6 on: March 28, 2011, 02:38:57 am »
This is why nice, working jails are good to have in advance, A few iron chains, some beds and booze, toss in an artifact and hey! No more problems.
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Duntada Man

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Re: DWARVEN JUSTICE
« Reply #7 on: March 28, 2011, 04:55:38 am »
I love how there's a ghost on that captains list.

"I don't care he's been dead as long as I been alive. No one is above the law!" That can make for B action movie that I would watch.
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Shimmler

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Re: DWARVEN JUSTICE
« Reply #8 on: March 28, 2011, 05:38:05 am »
Quote from: MythagoWoods on March 27, 2011, 09:25:11 pm
I make my captain always go unarmed that way he tends to just punch people once or twice, gets bored, and walks off.  Granted sometimes he strangles them to death instead.

Well, good for You. Mine captain punched through 3 dwarven skulls, teraing the brain.
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Urist McGyver

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Re: DWARVEN JUSTICE
« Reply #9 on: March 28, 2011, 07:06:13 am »
I usually make my captain of the guard a monster in combat. Adamantine Axe with full armor.

If my dwarves cannot follow my orders properly, then they do not deserve to live.

If the fort cannot be succesful because a dwarf fell into the pit'o'doom and caused a tantrum spiral, then they shall all meet the axeblade of Lady Justice.
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Quote from: Gizogin on March 07, 2012, 12:02:30 am
It's treated as completely normal because this is Dwarf Fortress.  There's absolutely nothing wrong with surrounding yourself with a wall of flames, only to later realize that you're surrounded by a wall of flames.
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Kamamura

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Re: DWARVEN JUSTICE
« Reply #10 on: March 28, 2011, 07:11:08 am »
Talk to that ghostly hebalist guy, I bet he would find a way to raise all your deceased dorfs from the dead, turning your fortress into a nice necropolis ;-)
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Quote from: cephalo on January 22, 2012, 08:13:37 pm
The entire content consists of senseless murder, a pile of faceless naked women and zero regard for human life in general, all in the service of the protagonist's base impulses. It is clearly a cry for help from a neglected, self absorbed and disempowered juvenile badly in need of affectionate guidance. What a sad, sad display.

Angry Bob

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Re: DWARVEN JUSTICE
« Reply #11 on: March 28, 2011, 10:06:28 am »
One of my McSwordmasters once "got into a fist fight", and by fist I mean stuck his sword through some random Urist's spine. He recieved a beating that he regenerated from instantly, while the guy he attacked is paralyzed forever.

Dwarven Justice is weird.
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