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[Tellemurius]

Screaming tends to occur a lot less when both people involved keep a level head. You need to move out sooner or later, just appeal to he's sense of rationality. What does he want you around the house for anyway?

He wants me to have a safety net if i lose my job and at least i have a roof over my head.

[Zrk2]

Have you ever tried to yell at someone keeping a level tone? It just doesn't fucking work. If you refuse to yell he won't be able to.

As to the safety net, well by going to college you will soon be able to provide for yourself, it's a risk you are willing to take and feel he should too.

[Stargrasper]

Screaming tends to occur a lot less when both people involved keep a level head. You need to move out sooner or later, just appeal to he's sense of rationality. What does he want you around the house for anyway?

He wants me to have a safety net if i lose my job and at least i have a roof over my head.

You said you just started college.  Ask him to put you up in the dorms.  That's paid in advance, so he can help you pay for it initially and you can pay him back from your job if he wants.  If you lose it, you still have a place to stay and food to eat. (meals come with the dorm room, usually)

[Tellemurius]

Have you ever tried to yell at someone keeping a level tone? It just doesn't fucking work. If you refuse to yell he won't be able to.

As to the safety net, well by going to college you will soon be able to provide for yourself, it's a risk you are willing to take and feel he should too.

Yep, i already told him that i want to do it to get out but he railed on me for not able to handle doing work and fulltime college too. True i never did and hes going from experience of me but i want to try damnit.

and im in Comm college. 7.50/hr is all im making on the weekends.

[Zrk2]

Well, you have to try sometime, it may as well be sooner rather than later. What about the rest of your family? Can you get support from them?

[Tellemurius]

Mom? she wanted me to go military in the first place >_>

im pretty much alone on this.

[Stargrasper]

Mom? she wanted me to go military in the first place >_>

im pretty much alone on this.

First thing's first... You are never alone.

Second... Don't try to guess what anyone's response to a question will be.

Have you actually asked both of your parents?  One, the other, or both may prove surprising understanding; particularly if you're trying to show independence.  How about siblings?  How about extended family?  How about friends?  If you're feeling really desperate, I know people in really tough times have gotten help from Bay12ers before.  You never know until you ask.

The key is to talk to people.  Never stop talking except to listen.  Trust others.

[Tellemurius]

I understand im not alone but i don't share my mind with everyone. I have talk to my mom about this and she ignored me, siblings are useless as im the eldest and my brother is useless as shit. I have talked to my friends who thought it was a good idea especially the one offering a room. I am asking just now im at the end here folks.

[Zrk2]

Then you may have to just stay, if nothing else works, and mend your bridges when you finish college.

[Tellemurius]

Heh, so yea i met up with my buddy yesterday and talk with his mom. She's cool with me staying if i got a job at least, i assume rent would be buy groceries once a month and do chores as she didn't look like the type to ask money from me. So aleast i got some leverage off my dad: nice place to live in, christian guardian watching over the place. sure the guy gets some crazy ass parties but i'll go hide somewhere that night.

[Zrk2]

That's good, what does your dad have to say to this?

[Tellemurius]

That's good, what does your dad have to say to this?

Im not telling him until next week when he visits. better if i tell him face to face.

[Vactor]

a few things you can do to help out your financials:

get a hard seasonal job that pays something better than 7.50/hr, I was able to pay for my college education through a mix of student loans (public, not private ones), light part time work during the school year, and landscaping full time through the summers.  Also, talk to your school about financial aid, some schools will provide grants instead of loans for students that are in dire financial straits.

As for dealing with your parents, work with them, keep them in the loop, even if they disagree with what you're doing, you'll appreciate having a relationship with them, especially if things don't work out right.  Do a little research on how much it would cost for a plane or bus to where your dad is living.  Set this much aside, or give it to your dad as an oh-shit fund, where if you really can't make it on your own, you can still afford a ticket to Utah.  How you deal with this situation is going to factor into your dad's perception of your capabilities on your own.  If you can handle this situation well, you may prove to him that you're ready to start charting your own course.

[Tellemurius]

Im in Community college, my loans will cover all my tuition and then some. As for the job, yea 7.50 is shit but i'll wait for 6 months before i start looking for another place again. For the oh-shit fund, i got 500 in the bank just in case and its a 100 bucks to get me over there.

[ed boy]

Don't burn your bridges. Try to keep on as good terms as possible.

You said that he wants you to have a safety net. That doesn't require him to be in the same state as you - if worst comes to worst, you can always get a plane/coach to utah. I would reccomend scheduling to have a lengthy phone call with him at least once a week.