Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Tellemurius]

Situation: My father is moving to Utah

my position: Started college this year, just got a job this week

issue: I don't want to go, i finally have some place where i can call home

Plan: I start my job training next month and finish school on May 5 which is when we move after. Frankly a month of training then goodbye is shit. I have one month to split before my dad shows up, i got a friend who says i can stay at his joint but he hasn't cleared it with his parents. My dad doesn't want me to leave the family cause at least i can fall back on him if i fuck up. So what are your thoughts forum. Should i clear out and go on my own?

[ChairmanPoo]

hmm, thing is you're likely to end up having conflicts with your friend. Have you any chances of getting your own place with your salary?


Also, obligatory: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L8Z6Yi_tlhs&feature=fvst

[Tellemurius]

7.50 a hour on weekends? no dice and ha i have that song.


I picked the guy as he been in shit since junior year so i thought i could also help him. (he got fucked up in a car accident)

[Max White]

Well when I moved out of home it was under very good conditions, but a word of advice. The best thing you can do before moving out in learn to cook, it will save your bacon.

[Tellemurius]

Oh i can cook, very damn good too.

Obviously my biggest problem is my dad, he already told me to stfu about it and never bring it up.

[Max White]

He can't really stop you from moving out. What he can do is cut you off, so as long as you can either support yourself fully, or you have a freind you can stay with, maybe pay a little for boarding, your set. He wouldn't really be that angry with you if you are staying to advance your education, would he?

[Tellemurius]

Thats a thing too, if i move to Utah i have to wait a year before im granted residency status. Where im at i got two colleges next to me and one of them is very good.

[Stargrasper]

I wish I had a place I could really call home.  I haven't for over five years now.  Cherish it if you'd got it.

To the problem at hand, however...you're in college now.  This is the time you're actually supposed to move out and live on your own and that's how you should frame it to your father.  Every child must eventually leave the nest, and going to college is when you're supposed to do it in our society.  If he can't reasonably see that, then you're screwed whether you stay or go.  If you can get him to understand that, he'll let you stay to be in school and he'll still support you.  It's basically the best possible outcome.

As to how to get him to see that, frame it like I suggest and beyond that...it's hard to say without knowing your father.  In the event he refuses to let go of you...you should act of your own accord and arrange to stay.  It'll be a bad environment for you to stay with him.  Thing about colleges is...if you go to financial aid and explain that your family is no longer supporting you..at all..you become eligible for a lot more aid.  Enough that you might even be able to pay for tuition and room and board.  That's hopeful, mind you, but it can happen depending on how expensive your school is.  Also, apply for every scholarship you can get your hands on.  A lot of scholarships are awarded to someone because he or she was the only person to apply for it.  Grab money where you can.  It's going to be tight during your undergrad studies.

I guess I'm saying, you absolutely should make the decision to stay where you are and go to college here.  You're goal is to persuade your father to support you in that endeavor.

[Tellemurius]

Yea im at the point were now im just going to lie to his face and disappear one day.

[Max White]

That's most likely the first step to becoming a vagabond, so have fun with that.

[Stargrasper]

Yea im at the point were now im just going to lie to his face and disappear one day.

Might wanna think that one through a bit more.  Just sayin'.

[Zrk2]

Yea im at the point were now im just going to lie to his face and disappear one day.

Very bad idea. I think you should explain that you want to go to college where you are now, and that it will cause too many problems to move to Utah, so you feel you should stay where you are, and you hope he can support you in this endeavour. Work in things like leaving the nest, and gaining life experience and advancing your education and the like.

[Tellemurius]

I just don't think it would handle either way, well by facing him i will get into a screamfest with him, might be better then i guess.

[Max White]

Screaming tends to occur a lot less when both people involved keep a level head. You need to move out sooner or later, just appeal to he's sense of rationality. What does he want you around the house for anyway?

[Stargrasper]

I just don't think it would handle either way, well by facing him i will get into a screamfest with him, might be better then i guess.

If you try, you might fail to persuade him.  If you don't try, you're assured to fail.  Like we said, it's about school, stability, and independence.  Talk to him.  Don't raise your voice.  Be peaceable and he'd more likely to do that same.  Above all, try.  You have nothing to lose by trying that you aren't assured to lose if you don't.

Remember, you have to move out eventually.  It's a lot better if you're on good terms with your folks at that time.  You WILL need external support as you start out and your father will be a more reliable source than your friends.