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Author Topic: A survey for all of you who enjoy other people  (Read 3848 times)

Heron TSG

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A survey for all of you who enjoy other people
« on: March 25, 2011, 12:02:15 am »

Men and women both are invited to answer a few questions. This survey is being conducted to help a research paper of mine on differing methods of friendly relationship creation and sustainability.

Please state your gender.

1. What does friendship mean to you.

2. What is love? (Any and all Haddaway jokes get no points.)

3. How many close friends do you have?

4. What makes these people your close friends?

5. How do you best make new friends?

6. What do you most enjoy doing with your friends?

7. What is the furthest you would go for your best friend? (IE: Help them with murder, cheat on a test, etc.)

8. What do you think is most important in a friendship?

9. Do you think there is something your gender values more in a friendship than the other? If so, what?

10. What do you think the other gender values more?

Bonus question: Do you think friendships are meant to last, or can even very temporary acquaintances become friends?

Thank you for your time. No trees were harmed in the typing of this survey.
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Est Sularus Oth Mithas
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Re: A survey for all of you who enjoy other people
« Reply #1 on: March 25, 2011, 12:08:47 am »

I'm male.

1: Having somebody who is there for you in times of need and allows you to engage in social interaction with them.

2: I've never been in a relationship and love is rarely felt by me. Can't really answer.

3: I have few close friends.

4: See answer 1.

5: Can't explain... I'm not very good at making new friends...

6: Talking.

7: Help them brutally assault somebody.

8: Friendship. Yeah, I can't come up with a real answer.

9: I wouldn't really know.

10: I wouldn't really know.


Bonus: Meant to last. A friendship that lasts a short time is meaningless.
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ein

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Re: A survey for all of you who enjoy other people
« Reply #2 on: March 25, 2011, 12:16:27 am »

Please state your gender.
Female (mtf, specifically)

1. What does friendship mean to you.
Somebody with whom I may confide in and enjoy spending time around.

2. What is love? (Any and all Haddaway jokes get no points.)
An irrational emotion leading to chaos and destruction throughout all of history. It's also one of the best emotions.

3. How many close friends do you have?
Three.

4. What makes these people your close friends?
See number 1.

5. How do you best make new friends?
Meeting friends of friends.

6. What do you most enjoy doing with your friends?
Movies and anime.

7. What is the furthest you would go for your best friend? (IE: Help them with murder, cheat on a test, etc.)
Act as a grounding rod to reality. My best friend is some sort of moral epitome who would never murder or cheat. Maybe steal, though.

8. What do you think is most important in a friendship?
Trust.

9. Do you think there is something your gender values more in a friendship than the other? If so, what?
Honestly, no fucking clue.

10. What do you think the other gender values more?
Ditto.

Bonus question: Do you think friendships are meant to last, or can even very temporary acquaintances become friends?
Some of the people I end up closest to are the people I sit with waiting at the airport.

Akigagak

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Re: A survey for all of you who enjoy other people
« Reply #3 on: March 25, 2011, 12:21:29 am »

Please state your gender. Male.

1. What does friendship mean to you.
Depends on what you mean. In terms of importance, pretty high, but in terms of what I'd call friendship? Someone who can 'watch your back," so to speak. Someone who you can trust to be there if you need the help.

2. What is love? 
Caring for someone else more than you do for yourself.

3. How many close friends do you have?
1 really close friend. About 8+ who are friends and friends of friends ans so on. Nights out are fun and often awesome.

4. What makes these people your close friends?
I've known him for nearly half the time I've walked this earth.

5. How do you best make new friends?
Ahahah. That would have been my answer not long ago.

Recently, I've been getting involved in the local eSports shenanigans.

6. What do you most enjoy doing with your friends?
Epic LAN games, laughing and joking about stuff, and going out on the rather small town. Also, chilling out in gay bars becuase the gay bars have awesomely relaxed atmospheres, and there's no danger of being shanked.

7. What is the furthest you would go for your best friend? (IE: Help them with murder, cheat on a test, etc.)
I MIGHT provide a false alibi, depending on how serious the crime was.

8. What do you think is most important in a friendship?
I dunno. Trust is important.

9. Do you think there is something your gender values more in a friendship than the other? If so, what?
I don't have a definite answer, only stereotypes. :P

10. What do you think the other gender values more?
See 9.

Bonus question: Do you think friendships are meant to last, or can even very temporary acquaintances become friends?
It depends. But yes, some friendships just last and last. It depends how well you click with them.
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fqllve

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Re: A survey for all of you who enjoy other people
« Reply #4 on: March 25, 2011, 12:28:39 am »

Male

1. What does friendship mean to you.
A mutually beneficial relationship based on companionship.

2. What is love?
An act of deep kindness.

3. How many close friends do you have?
A couple.

4. What makes these people your close friends?
A combination of a experiences shared over time, common interests, and an understanding of the things I find most important.

5. How do you best make new friends?
On accident.

6. What do you most enjoy doing with your friends?
Conversing.

7. What is the furthest you would go for your best friend? (IE: Help them with murder, cheat on a test, etc.)
Nothing that I find immoral.

8. What do you think is most important in a friendship?
A balance of give and take.

9. Do you think there is something your gender values more in a friendship than the other? If so, what?
Maybe, but I'm not qualified to guess at it.

10. What do you think the other gender values more?
Same as above.

Bonus question: Do you think friendships are meant to last, or can even very temporary acquaintances become friends?
People change, and you might discover surprising things about simple acquaintances.
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Vector

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Re: A survey for all of you who enjoy other people
« Reply #5 on: March 25, 2011, 12:30:21 am »

Please state your gender.

Never felt that strongly in one way or the other.  If you need one answer, though, you can put down female.  I've gotten used to that most of the time, now.

Bizarre with all the "blah blah blah women's rights" things, I guess, but whatever.


1. What does friendship mean to you.

Sustained time spent with another person, enjoyable to both parties, such that upon parting one hopes to spend more time together in the future (but not necessarily immediately).

Rather, an individual with whom such an event is possible on a repeated basis.


2. What is love? (Any and all Haddaway jokes get no points.)

Whatever sentiment causes one to endure willing sacrifice for a person or idea, usually accompanied by a great deal of positive emotion towards that individual, field of study, or concept.


3. How many close friends do you have?

Zero.


4. What makes these people your close friends?

If I had close friends, they would be close friends because I felt able to speak frankly without fear of reprisal.  I wouldn't feel a need to look for whatever angle they could get on me, or worry overmuch about censoring my speech.  I would feel safe around these people and at least somewhat certain of their support.


5. How do you best make new friends?

Usually through shared interests in class.  I'm a bit of a loner, so I don't make friends very often.  I have no idea what I'll do when/if I leave college.


6. What do you most enjoy doing with your friends?

Math proofs or analyzing novels, chatting about languages, arguing.  Most of the stuff I do on here.  I know, I'm pretty boring.


7. What is the furthest you would go for your best friend? (IE: Help them with murder, cheat on a test, etc.)

My "best friend" or my best friend?  For the best friend I have right now, the most I'd do is not laugh at him if he asked me out again.  For the best friends I've had before, I've sustained considerable emotional damage for their well-being, helped them through severe depression, and put up with their gropey bullshit.  I don't think I'd do that again right now.

No murder, no cheating on tests, none of that.  I'd help them study and I'd probably write angry letters to whomever they wanted to kill, but no further.


8. What do you think is most important in a friendship?

Compassion to sustain friendship, shared interests to spark it.  Intelligence helps a lot.  If I can't argue productively with someone, we probably won't be friends.  Loyalty is good but not necessary or expected at this stage of my life.


9. Do you think there is something your gender values more in a friendship than the other? If so, what?

Nah.  I have pretty much the same relationship with women and men.


10. What do you think the other gender values more?

In a friend?  Can't think of anything in particular.  The main difference in my experience with men and women is that the men generally hit on me less, we got in fewer emotional fights but more physical ones, and they also occasionally used male pronouns on me for no discernible reason (didn't ask them to, etc., etc.).  There wasn't a really big qualitative difference.


Bonus question: Do you think friendships are meant to last, or can even very temporary acquaintances become friends?

Depends on the people and the situation.  As you may have gathered, I'm not the most easily friendly person, so in general I don't make fast friends with temporary acquaintances.  I don't even try that hard to make any friends at all... doesn't mean I don't enjoy people, just that it's never been that easy or necessary.
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Criptfeind

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Re: A survey for all of you who enjoy other people
« Reply #6 on: March 25, 2011, 12:44:37 am »

Male

1: Enjoyment in the company of someone. You would spend time with them or seek out time with them of your own accord.

2: Love is wanting to be with some for the rest of your life even after you have found out their faults.

3: 1

4: He is my brother. We have the same mind. Same thoughts. Same life.

5: By spending time nearby them until I decide I like them enough to work on increasing rapport.

6: The ability to share 'in jokes' and understand each others thoughts.

7: I would help a freind do minor illegal acts, but with a very strong importance on trying to get them not to do so unless I deem the act completely non harmful or necessary.

8: Understanding

9/10: I suppose the normal stereotype is males want the more physical aspects of a relation ship and the females want the more emotional aspects. The reasons I was told this was so makes logic to me and I have not heard any rebuttal as of yet. Obviously individuals are... individual so it changes case to case.

Bonus question: Friendships... Can last. I do not think they are necessarily meant to. When the friends change though aging or circumstance  there is no shame in terminating a unsatisfactory friendship or not putting in the needed effort to maintain it. I believe friendships kept artificially alive only cause issues.

I see no reason for a very temporary acquaintances to not become a freind. I believe it is very unlikely and will not happen, but if it does there is not reason to stop it.
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MetalSlimeHunt

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Re: A survey for all of you who enjoy other people
« Reply #7 on: March 25, 2011, 01:29:23 am »

Please state your gender.
Male
Quote
1. What does friendship mean to you.
Friendship is a type of social relationship characterized by mutual activities, generally happy interaction, and loyalty to another. Friendship is not mutually exclusive to other relationship types. (IE: My father is my father, but he and I are also friends simultaneously.)
Quote
2. What is love? (Any and all Haddaway jokes get no points.)
Love is the name given to a biochemical response to another individual that results in attachment, be it romantic, platonic, or familial in nature. One does not always necessarily even like the people they love, but this is the minority.
Quote
3. How many close friends do you have?
0, if you mean active friends. If not, 3.
Quote
4. What makes these people your close friends?
Bonding through adversity and emotionally hectic situations. Fire Forged Friends, to quoth TvTropes.
Quote
5. How do you best make new friends?
By chance.
Quote
6. What do you most enjoy doing with your friends?
Talking about the world.
Quote
7. What is the furthest you would go for your best friend? (IE: Help them with murder, cheat on a test, etc.)
It depends on the situation. If my friend is being a lazy bastard who didn't study at all for the test, they're on their own. If my friend stayed up for the past three days working and slaving away, but couldn't get time to properly study or postpone the test, then I'd help them cheat. If the situation is right (say, a member of my friend's close family is murdered, the trial is thrown out on a technicalty, and he shows up at my home that night with a case full of guns and death in his eyes), then I might at least consider helping my best friend with murder.
Quote
8. What do you think is most important in a friendship?
Loyalty to one another when the world is unjust.
Quote
9. Do you think there is something your gender values more in a friendship than the other? If so, what?
Not particuarly. I think there may be more women who put a high value on the outward appearance of their friendships, but this is a generalization with no proof.
Quote
10. What do you think the other gender values more?
I haven't the faintest fuckin' idea.
Quote
Bonus question: Do you think friendships are meant to last, or can even very temporary acquaintances become friends?
Some are stronger than others. There eventually becomes a threshold, however, when friendships reach a level of permanance.
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Solifuge

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Re: A survey for all of you who enjoy other people
« Reply #8 on: March 25, 2011, 02:41:22 am »

Please state your gender.
Male.

1. What does friendship mean to you.
An ability to trust and relate to another being, generally mutual.

2. What is love? (Any and all Haddaway jokes get no points.)
An exceptionally strong form of friendship (or rather, friendship is a milder form of love), often with a willingness to give of yourself. It can be directed outward, and it can be received, but it isn't always mutual.

3. How many close friends do you have?
Excluding family, roughly 10.

4. What makes these people your close friends?
We care for each other in our own ways, and share time and experiences with each other when we can. A handful may not be aware that I view them as close friends, due to time and distance, but I still do.

5. How do you best make new friends?
When I'd like to be friends with someone new, I do my best to spend time with them and make sure they're happy, be it by making them laugh, helping them through any troubles they face, or inviting them to spend time doing something fun that we both share an interest in. I often spend time listening to and getting to know them, to let them know I'm interested in who they are.

6. What do you most enjoy doing with your friends?
It varies from friend to friend. Speaking generally, I like to share ideas and experiences with them. Having company on a hike, watching a movie together, or sharing our hobbies and interests bring us closer as people, and help broaden our horizons. We become more complete people by sharing our lives with one another.

7. What is the furthest you would go for your best friend? (IE: Help them with murder, cheat on a test, etc.)
So long as I can agree with it morally, and it won't definitely ruin my life, I have no compunctions about helping friends in any way. For reference, I've given most of my savings to help someone without expecting to be paid back, illegally borrowed a vehicle to give someone a lift, and risked my safety swimming 1/4 mile off shore to help one back after they were knocked out. None of these people were particularly close friends either, but it seemed the decent thing to do.

8. What do you think is most important in a friendship?
Reciprocation. If trust and kindness is only going one way, it's not good for either party, and isn't really a friendship. This includes communicating and actively sharing experiences, since without that friends often drift apart.

9. Do you think there is something your gender values more in a friendship than the other? If so, what?
I can only speak as an individual, not as all men. It's possible that statistically speaking, either gender has a set of things they value more on average, but I can't know what that would be. I don't think there is anything innate to our different gender roles that defines what we seek in friends.

10. What do you think the other gender values more?
See above.

Bonus question: Do you think friendships are meant to last, or can even very temporary acquaintances become friends?
Friendships require time and energy, and thus can be transient things. Without that time and energy they can easily be lost, and new ones can just as easily be formed. With renewed effort, old friendships can be rekindled too... but I don't feel they're innately permanent things.
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ed boy

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Re: A survey for all of you who enjoy other people
« Reply #9 on: March 25, 2011, 07:05:22 am »

Please state your gender.
Male
Quote
1. What does friendship mean to you.
Being able to enjoy the company of and performing activities with someone.
Quote
2. What is love?
I tend to work with a rather broad definition of love: it is valuing the happiness and wellbeing of someone else. The more you value it, the more you love them.
Quote
3. How many close friends do you have?
Not many.
Quote
4. What makes these people your close friends?
Being able to trust them and rely on them. I know plenty of people who are great fun to be around, but who I wouldn't trust with a pair of scissors; these are my friends. I also know some people who aren't that enjoyable to be around, but who I would trust with a huge amount; these are my close friends.
Quote
5. How do you best make new friends?
When common interests lead us to interact or perform activities together, and this proves to be enjoyable.
Quote
6. What do you most enjoy doing with your friends?
Usually common interests, as described above.
Quote
7. What is the furthest you would go for your best friend? (IE: Help them with murder, cheat on a test, etc.)
In terms of how much I would go against what I believe to be morally correct: I would discuss it with them, and if they could present a good enough argument, I would do it, but I would want to make it clear that I was not happy with it from the start.
In terms of how much I would give up to help a friend: For one of my regular friends, not a lot. For one of my close friends, a lot.
Quote
8. What do you think is most important in a friendship?
In a regular friendship, enjoyabilitiy. In a close friendship, trust and love (as described above).
Quote
9. Do you think there is something your gender values more in a friendship than the other? If so, what?
Before coming to uni, pretty much all my friends were male. After coming, pretty much all my friends are female. From what I have observed, males and females tend to want the same things, but they tend to be more vocal about certain parts.
Quote
10. What do you think the other gender values more?
From my observations, there is not a huge difference, except that females tend to want close friends slightly more, and males want friends slightly more.
Quote
Bonus question: Do you think friendships are meant to last, or can even very temporary acquaintances become friends?
People change. The foundations for a regular friendship can be swept away rather quickly, but the foundations for a close friendship tend to ebb away slowly.
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Strife26

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Re: A survey for all of you who enjoy other people
« Reply #10 on: March 25, 2011, 01:17:35 pm »


Please state your gender.
Male

Quote
1. What does friendship mean to you.

Someone whom one spends enjoyable time with.

Quote
2. What is love?

Putting the wellbeing of another above yourself.

Quote
3. How many close friends do you have?

0-3, I suppose. I've got comrades here, I suppose that I'd call one of them a close friend, even if I've only known him for awhile. People in a war zone are almost like their own pseudo-friend zone.
Also, I'm not sure how much I should list people whom I only correspond with online.


Quote
4. What makes these people your close friends?

I could confide in them, even with shit I'd rather not be known. I'd also trust them to make said thing known if it was important enough. I suppose, by that definition, a few people here online would qualify, wouldn't they?

Quote
5. How do you best make new friends?

When I meet someone online, or they seem to be a relatively unannoying person whom I'm assigned to be around.
Quote
6. What do you most enjoy doing with your friends?
I'm like a cat, I always like to be around people, but I don't like being more involved than in the general area. I like to be on the outskirts of a conversation, ocasionally interjecting a bit of surreality or knowledge.

Quote
7. What is the furthest you would go for your best friend? (IE: Help them with murder, cheat on a test, etc.)
Anything that I'd find morally justifiable. I've got a pretty well listed metric of when murder would be allowable, for example. In sheer trustworthiness, I've got a habit of happily sharing pretty much anything I've got, even though my mind expects it to be lost or stolen (lots of people owe me money, meh).

Quote
8. What do you think is most important in a friendship?

Hell if I know.

Quote
9. Do you think there is something your gender values more in a friendship than the other? If so, what?

Yes, I think that men value working towards a solution

Quote
10. What do you think the other gender values more?

Emotions, females are more concerned with the emotions entailed in a problem.

Quote
Bonus question: Do you think friendships are meant to last, or can even very temporary acquaintances become friends?

Both. I know a hell of a lot of people well enough to call a friend, but I don't really have anyone who'd I call a life-long friend. However, my family has friends whom are close enough to be blood.
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Gunner-Chan

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Re: A survey for all of you who enjoy other people
« Reply #11 on: March 25, 2011, 01:55:24 pm »

Please state your gender.
Female

Quote
1. What does friendship mean to you.

Someone willing to put your well being above theirs, and that you can put theirs above yours.

Quote
2. What is love?

A deep emotional connection that goes beyond just friendship.

Quote
3. How many close friends do you have?

Seven. Three of which I am counting from online, and one of which is my daughter.


Quote
4. What makes these people your close friends?

Unlike most people, or most friends. I trust them implicitly. Ill take anything they say as truth and I hope they consider the same to me.

Quote
5. How do you best make new friends?

Talking? I'm not sure. I'm pretty bad at making, and KEEPING friends.

Quote
6. What do you most enjoy doing with your friends?
Fun things. Playing games, watching TV or shows or movies, roleplay. I like to have fun.

Quote
7. What is the furthest you would go for your best friend? (IE: Help them with murder, cheat on a test, etc.)
I'd take a bullet for my friends. But I wouldn't hurt anyone for them, considering I wouldn't even hurt anyone for myself.

Quote
8. What do you think is most important in a friendship?

Trust, compassion, and maintaining some form of contact.

Quote
9. Do you think there is something your gender values more in a friendship than the other? If so, what?

Compassion. Guys are rather thick headed.

Quote
10. What do you think the other gender values more?

To be honest. Until proven otherwise I assume guys don't even want friends. Most make it pretty clear they wont be getting me as a friend at least.

Quote
Bonus question: Do you think friendships are meant to last, or can even very temporary acquaintances become friends?

Friendship is SUPPOSED to last. But things can happen. But I think it's supposed to last or at least end on a good note.
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Darvi

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Re: A survey for all of you who enjoy other people
« Reply #12 on: March 25, 2011, 02:04:32 pm »

I was going to answer, but then I found out I could hardly even answer half of the questions.
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Gorjo MacGrymm

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Re: A survey for all of you who enjoy other people
« Reply #13 on: March 25, 2011, 02:10:20 pm »

Men and women both are invited to answer a few questions. This survey is being conducted to help a research paper of mine on differing methods of friendly relationship creation and sustainability.

Please state your gender.  Male

1. What does friendship mean to you. 
- Being able to 100% rely upon the support of another.
2. What is love? (Any and all Haddaway jokes get no points.)
- Complete acceptance of another individual, no matter what.
3. How many close friends do you have?
- 2.  Around 10 more good social friends of varying importance to me, about 20 more good "aquaintances".
4. What makes these people your close friends?
- Knowing that no matter what, they will always be willing to help me when i am in need and vice-versa. 
5. How do you best make new friends?
- Going places, trying new things, which lends itself to meeting new people.  You just have to be open to the idea.
6. What do you most enjoy doing with your friends?
- Anytime spent with friends is a treasure.  We mostly play games, discuss life and politics, BS about our greatness.  :P 
7. What is the furthest you would go for your best friend? (IE: Help them with murder, cheat on a test, etc.)
- take a bullet
8. What do you think is most important in a friendship?
- remembering that friendship mean you always have someones back, even if it means doing something they might not like.
9. Do you think there is something your gender values more in a friendship than the other? If so, what?
- Tough question.  I think yes, men prefer (IMO) more physical real world support, ie financial, muscle, hardship, etc.
10. What do you think the other gender values more?
- I think women look for emotional support more than men.
Bonus question: Do you think friendships are meant to last, or can even very temporary acquaintances become friends?
Of course very temporary aquaintences can become friends.  Thats how they all start.  And yes, real friendships never die.  Some fade away due to distance, but upon re-uniting, the friendship returns.  I know many people who think that someone isnt their friend anymore because of _______, when their friendship wasnt based upon each other but instead upon a friend, alcohol, drug, game,etc..........
Thank you for your time. No trees were harmed in the typing of this survey.
« Last Edit: March 25, 2011, 02:23:29 pm by Gorjo MacGrymm »
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Aramco

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Re: A survey for all of you who enjoy other people
« Reply #14 on: March 25, 2011, 02:55:04 pm »

I was going to answer, but then I found out I could hardly even answer half of the questions.

This is how I feel about this survey, but Imma give it a go anyway.

Please state your gender.
Male.

1. What does friendship mean to you.
Someone who is friendly to you. (I'm not very good at this. Also, that should be a question mark.)

2. What is love? (Any and all Haddaway jokes get no points.)
I don't know, I don't really care for relationships.

3. How many close friends do you have?
Hmmm... let's see... Five, or so.

4. What makes these people your close friends?
They follow answer number one.

5. How do you best make new friends?
By being friendly to people, as in answer number one.

6. What do you most enjoy doing with your friends?
Talking to them.

7. What is the furthest you would go for your best friend? (IE: Help them with murder, cheat on a test, etc.)
Anything which does not involve harming other people.

8. What do you think is most important in a friendship?
See answers one, three, and five.

9. Do you think there is something your gender values more in a friendship than the other? If so, what?
See answer number two.

10. What do you think the other gender values more?
See answers two, and nine.

Bonus question: Do you think friendships are meant to last, or can even very temporary acquaintances become friends?
It depends on whether said acquaintances obey answer number one.
Logged
Or maybe there's a god who's just completely insane and sends you to Detroit, Michigan in a new body if you ever utter the name "Pat Sajak".
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