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[freeformschooler]

Alright, I have another question. If you made a driver slow down, and then their car suddenly exploded, what would you do?

Well, at least that would keep the creepy villain guy from getting his money.

[Criptfeind]

Yeah, but then without Keanu Reeves, no one could stop him and he would just keep blowing people up.

[Qloos]

Any advice for uh... civilians who find themselves working as impromptu traffic control?  I wound up unhappily directing traffic a few times by my university when a tree came down over half of a reasonably busy (but slow) two-lane street, while waiting for the proper authorities to show up.  I had a vague sense that I was going to get someone killed, but also that they were even more likely to kill each other if nobody was standing around helping.

This demands a long answer.

If you have time to prepare before you step out and control traffic then:
You wont be able to do alot of this because the equipment isn't available.

• Stick on ppe, (personal protective equipment) In order of importance, (if available): High visibility vest, stop/slow paddle, footwear with GOOD grib steeltoe an added bonues.  (I've never had my foot run over, ever)  Whistles are also useful if you don't have a loud voice.
• Put up prewarning signs if availabe.  If traffic KNOWS theres a hazard ahead then they are atleast attentive before they come at you.  Hell, if the driver is a nice old lady she might even slow down.  If there's lots of traffic, then you only need 1 person to slow down, then everone behind him is forced to follow suit.  If you don't have signs: throwing up a cone on the center line is a nice attention grabber.
• Throw emergency flares on the road in front of the hazard, these usually last an hour before burning out.

Considering your situation, you probably wouldn't be able to do any of that.  In that case it's time for Hill Billy traffic control.

• Pick an escape path, you might need to run out of the way for some reason.
• Pick a place where you have good stopping distance, (3 seconds minimum.) and visibility before the hazard, put on your hazard lights if your car is there.  Look out for side roads and drive ways
• Wave your arms in the air to get a drivers attention then hold out your palm to tell them to stop.  Do this in the center of his lane, you need to be assertive.
• If the car doesn't appear to be slowing down, begin taking a few steps towards your escape path, if he seriously isn't going to stop, abort mission, thanks for trying.
• Making sure he's stopped before he plows into your shins or the hazard, walk over towards the opposing lane of traffic and repeat the stop process for them.  Don't walk into their lane when doing the stop process unless you got a similar 3 second gap
• Repeat this process for both lanes, hooray.  We're now single laning traffic solo.

Feel free to yell at people, your safety is on the line here.


If people are coming around a blind corner fast, then fuck that shit.
If the above picture is relevant.  Go up around the corner a bit, stay off road and wave your arms up above your head crossing them to try and get people to slow down, if they dont pay attention then you can tell their loved ones at their funeral that you tried your best.

The first step is preventing people from barreling around a corner into mr tree, they can bicker over who's turn it is to go around the tree first all they want.  Preventing a traffic jam is objective number 2, objective 1 is saving that tree from being butt rushed.

Alright, I have another question. If you made a driver slow down, and then their car suddenly exploded, what would you do?

Grab a fire extinguisher and get someone to call an anbulance, after the fire is extinguished.  I'd open the door,
get on the floor,
everybody walk the dinosaur.

[Criptfeind]

I like this thread, but I am not creative enough to come up with good questions.

Can you pretend I asked something good here instead of saying this?

[Jreengus]

Have you ever tried flagging with your feet whilst doing handstands?

[lordnincompoop]

I frown upon any flagger who pretends their wand is a lightsaber.

Have you ever done this?

[Aklyon]

Well of course its not a lightsaber, it looks too short for that.

its a Lightdagger!

[Criptfeind]

You can pull it out and bind it tight to turn it into a lightsaber if it is a bigger flag.

[Qloos]

Qloos, what are some of the biggest ways to piss off a flagger?

Gee, thanks for asking Criptfiend.

• Try to run them over, usually the'll attempt to call the cops or something silly if you try.  This has never happened to me
• Throw things out the window at them.  This has happened once to me, they sacrificed a perfectly fine slurpy and missed.
• Run the stop sign, kinda hard to do this job when people do it deliberatly.  Happens once or twice a month to me, im usually able to yell at people and feint hitting their shiny buick before they get around me.
• Rev your engine while waiting.  While watching the work zone to determine when it's safe to send traffic, this is very distracting.  As flaggers use their ears to make sure no ones driving up on them. Usually my friends thinking they're funny do this
• When stopping, stop closer than 1 meter from the flagger, that way if someone rear ends you the flagger wont have a chance to dodge. When I get mad about this, the driver usually throws up their arm and says "What?!  I stopped didn't I!" (If you have the ability to pull off half a foot to the right so traffic coming up behind you can see me, that's awesome.  Plus if they rear end you, you can stick yourself into the ditch instead of my face.)
• Fail to use your turn signal or use it wrong.  If you're going to turn up a side road and don't signal, you're just slowing down the process, thanks for helping out. My favourite is when they come to a T intersection and still don't signal and wait for me to send them.
• Stop right next to the flagger and ask for directions while impeding the flow of traffic.  I honestly don't care if you pull off to the side and ask, but once I had a lady stop in the middle of an intersection, get out, and ask for directions.  I told her to get in her car and keep driving.  I'm not tourist information.

Have you ever done this?

No

[Criptfeind]

That pull to the side is good advice.

Do you have any more tidbits of advice? Because that one will help me in the future.

[Qloos]

If you have to pull into the work zone because of some engine trouble, etc.  Turn on your hazard lights so people don't follow the leader into the work zone.  Also, when you're approaching a line up for a work zone, it's friendly to turn on your hazards to warn people coming up on your ass that everyone's stopped. 

However, if you have your hazards on when going past a flagger, you're just going to confuse his ass.  He'll think you're a construction worker or you're losing pressure in a tire.


**It's bonus image time**
http://east-wenatchee.com/files/documents/Planning/VMPRKY%20TC.jpg
Hyperlinked because it's large.

Traffic Control Plans.  I hate doing these.
Good thing I don't have to.

[Aramco]

What would you do if a car was coming straight at you, as if it was about to hit you, but then it disappeared, but the person/people inside kept going forward, and landed on you?

[Criptfeind]

If people ask to many dumb questions. Can you hit them with a flag?

[lordnincompoop]

How much can you abuse cars and/or drivers while still being within your bounds?

[Aramco]

Have you ever attempted to tackle someone's vehicle for not slowing down?