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[deoxys413]

Me and a group of friends have recently grown attached to the concept of a Dorf, all thanks to the antics of mine and many other forts. Then problem arose when wanting to create an equally zany origin story for these dorfs when implemented in a DnD setting, but after much deliberation we have reached this conclusion: Beard Parasite!

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The life cycle of this beard-looking parasite is little known. What we DO know is that the little critter's life cycle depend on copious amounts of ethanol theorized to stave off other potential pathological compromises to it's host as the parasite itself does not have a high resiliency and the host is usually either dead or dying.

On the matter of hosts, the beard parasite has only been observed attaching itself to large rocks, or wayward gnomes, taking on the appearance of excessive facial hair in both cases. It is theorized that the host determines the gender of the dorf, rock hosts make one, and gnome hosts make the other, but it is impossible to distinguish once the host is taken. The parasite upon attachment also makes the host more irritable, illogical, dim-witted, and possibly murderous.

The beard parasite reproduces by means of spores, and thusly cannot reproduce as easily in cramped quarters, making the host desire larger areas of habitation, preferably with decorations as decorations are shiny and likely to attract the attention of the host's impeded mental capacity. This urge also drives the host to construct large vertical structures as the updrafts and downdrafts generated by these constructs help in the spreading of spores.

The climate preference of the parasite is warm and damp, this is imposed upon the host in more extreme climates by the urge to go several hundred feet underground. At times when a magma vent is found, there is conflict between host and parasite, while the host itself will have the urge to flee, the parasite will want to stay and be warm. Internally the conflict rages like that of an elf who was offered adamantine in a wooden crate, but outwardly the conflict is a stalemate even in cases of the host catching fire.
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That's all we've managed to come up with so far, opinions? Additions?

[Urist McGyver]

You forgot to mention that the beard parasite was actually made by elves in an attempt to genocide short humans. Of course, that turned to themselves. Now the bearded dwarves fling elves in magma pits as a offering to short-sized gods.

[deoxys413]

You forgot to mention that the beard parasite was actually made by elves in an attempt to genocide short humans. Of course, that turned to themselves. Now the bearded dwarves fling elves in magma pits as a offering to short-sized gods.

Actually, I was thinking the hostility to elves was the fact that they don't have facial hair (it's disabled in MY raws anyways) and therefore don't interpret them as a fellow dorf, which is then equated to magma bath. This is why humans are easier to get along with, as they are initially perceived as a fellow host/parasite bringing shinys.

[Ze Spy]

Wrong, Dorfs are created from the blood of armok, ye bloody elf

Ze Spy, bay watcher, has issued a mandate : Dump magma on deoxys413

[Urist McGyver]

Armok doesn't bleed. That's why he demands blood.

[Ze Spy]

He used a quarter of his blood stockpile to create dorfs, and all blood in his stockpile are registered as Blood of armok, It seems that we have Non-Armok dwarves in our midst

[Sutremaine]

Actually, I was thinking the hostility to elves was the fact that they don't have facial hair (it's disabled in MY raws anyways) and therefore don't interpret them as a fellow dorf, which is then equated to magma bath. This is why humans are easier to get along with, as they are initially perceived as a fellow host/parasite bringing shinys.

You gave the human women beards as well? Hardcore.

[Aramco]

He used a quarter of his blood stockpile to create dorfs, and all blood in his stockpile are registered as Blood of armok, It seems that we have Non-Armok dwarves in our midst

Yeah, that's why he wants blood-- he used up a lot of his, and needs more.
If the Elves gave the Dwarves this parasite,  it would explain why the Dwarves hate Elves so much. Because of their lowered intelligence, they cannot remember why they hate the Elves so much, just that they do. If they figured it out, they'd probably be friends with the Elves.

[deoxys413]

Actually, I was thinking the hostility to elves was the fact that they don't have facial hair (it's disabled in MY raws anyways) and therefore don't interpret them as a fellow dorf, which is then equated to magma bath. This is why humans are easier to get along with, as they are initially perceived as a fellow host/parasite bringing shinys.

You gave the human women beards as well? Hardcore.

Well, NOW they do. 

[Raufgar]

Further examination of the beard parasite's habits have yielded some pretty interesting findings:

The Symbiotic Relationship between Parasite and Host

Insight No. (1)

Providing further evidence into the theory of dampness playing an important role in the Beard Parasite's reproduction cycle, the B.P. frequently induces its host to wander near waterfalls or the seaside, to take advantage of the heady mists that are produced near such locations. To keep their hosts around such locations, the B.P. is theorized to release endorphins directly into the thinking centers of the host, producing a feeling of well-being and to generate "Happy Thoughts". So enthralled by such releases are the hosts that they will go to great lengths to perpetuate the feeling, usually ending with the construction of elaborate and often deadly mechanisms, such as an artificial waterfall going through the dining room, or a perpetual mist generator. The debate of whether the B.P. also induces the host to periodically dodge into bodies of water is still ongoing.

Insight No. (2)

While the mental processes of the host are dampened to a minimum, seeing B.P. infested rocks suddenly animate and walk around will still raise a red flag in the hosts addled brain. After multiple sightings of such animations, the host might realize that something's up. To prevent such occurrences from happening too often, the B.P. will encourage the creation of statues and their placement around the fortress. Seeing a rock move about might be disconcerting (especially if the host was sharing a bed with the rock), but seeing a statue with a beard walking around is not so. At least to the damaged brain of the host.

More insights when we find them!