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Author Topic: OH GOD THE CARNAGE  (Read 2931 times)

Chattox

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OH GOD THE CARNAGE
« on: March 14, 2011, 10:27:32 am »

There was nothing I could do, none of my dwarves had ever hurt a fly before, they were totally unprepared for the entire 3 goblin macemen that attacked my fortress...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Has anyone else had this happen where one or two enemies have crippled an entire fortress?
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Naryar

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Re: OH GOD THE CARNAGE
« Reply #1 on: March 14, 2011, 10:28:25 am »

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD

Angry Bob

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Re: OH GOD THE CARNAGE
« Reply #2 on: March 14, 2011, 10:32:13 am »

Who hasn't?

Additionally, Skulls for the Skull Throne.
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FUN FOR THE FUN GOD

wuphonsreach

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Re: OH GOD THE CARNAGE
« Reply #3 on: March 14, 2011, 10:49:04 am »

Has anyone else had this happen where one or two enemies have crippled an entire fortress?
(shrugs) I plan for that level of fun and always have an outer gate, plus an inner gate that is 20-30 tiles inside the outer one.  When the whistle blows, I shut both gates at the same time, then figure out my next move.  Those 2 gates and levers are one of the first things that get built.  The large gap of 20-30 tiles gives my dwarves reaction time to hit the levers before both gates are breached.
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Angry Bob

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Re: OH GOD THE CARNAGE
« Reply #4 on: March 14, 2011, 12:42:23 pm »

To be actually helpful, if you embark with two copper axes, you can give one to your woodcutta and the other to your one military guy. Use the first few trees you cut to make him a shield and a danger room. Once you have that, other armor becomes a case of "whenever you feel like reclaiming the goblins' armor for your own use", because he'll block absolutely everything.
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FUN FOR THE FUN GOD

monk12

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Re: OH GOD THE CARNAGE
« Reply #5 on: March 14, 2011, 12:49:38 pm »

My first fortress of any note got pwned by a single squad of goblin swordsmen. Part of my initial learning cliff climb.

Much more embarrassing was my first fort in 2010, where a handful of goblin lashers made a mockery of my military, as well as every civilian I drafted in an effort to dogpile them. This was also back when it took FOREVER for something to die- I basically watched 5-6 goblin lashers peel the skin off of 40+ dwarves a layer at a time, over the course of 3 months.

krisslanza

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Re: OH GOD THE CARNAGE
« Reply #6 on: March 14, 2011, 01:04:51 pm »

I once had a fortress that ended up suffering heavy casualties against a kobold ambush. They had archers in the entrance to the fort, which was a long hallway. Many of my people died that day.

Shogger

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Re: OH GOD THE CARNAGE
« Reply #7 on: March 14, 2011, 05:14:53 pm »

My very first fort ended when a goblin ambush just leisurely strolled in and laid waste to my dwarves. I had no defenses of any kind except a locked door on my meeting hall doubling as a panic room, so I just watched my dwarves get torn apart while I began planning to tackle the military and defense aspect of DF on my second fortress.
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ledgekindred

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Re: OH GOD THE CARNAGE
« Reply #8 on: March 14, 2011, 05:26:55 pm »

Back in the early .31 days when the military still had some ... issues ... I dug into the caverns and managed to get a couple of Elk Birds running around in my fort.  Well they were scared as crap of my dwarves, and kept running away from them, while the dwarves were scared as crap of the Elk Birds and would run away from those.  I sicced my military on them, but the damn things could just barely outrun the bunch of raw recruits I had managed to set up by that point. 

Thus ensued an amazing months-long game of Keystone Kops as the birds ran around, chased by the military, with every job in the fort getting interrupted by Elk Birds, causing the dwarves allegedly doing those jobs to run around like idiots.

In the midst of the chaos, an "ambush" shows up.  6 puny little goblins.  Between the gobbos, the Elk Birds, the inept military, and the other "army" of sober, pissed and tantrumming dorfs, all running around like maniacs, it was somewhere between a farce and the funniest thing I've ever experienced in DF.

The gobbos managed to wipe out the whole fort of some 50-odd panicked morons. 

At least they killed the Elk Birds.

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I don't understand, though that is about right with anything DF related.
I just hope he dies the same death that all dwarfs deserve: liver disease.
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Atir Stigildegel, Legless Hero of Diamondrelic: http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=83136.0

darkrider2

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Re: OH GOD THE CARNAGE
« Reply #9 on: March 14, 2011, 05:37:35 pm »

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD

It is no surprise that this is the first reply. It should be the first reply to every thread.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Aramco

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Re: OH GOD THE CARNAGE
« Reply #10 on: March 14, 2011, 05:48:59 pm »

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD

It is no surprise that this is the first reply. It should be the first reply to every thread.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD
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Or maybe there's a god who's just completely insane and sends you to Detroit, Michigan in a new body if you ever utter the name "Pat Sajak".

Bdthemag

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Re: OH GOD THE CARNAGE
« Reply #11 on: March 14, 2011, 05:57:07 pm »

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD

It is no surprise that this is the first reply. It should be the first reply to every thread.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD
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Well, you do have a busy life, what with keeping tabs on wild, rough-and-tumble forum members while sorting out the drama between your twenty two inner lesbians.
Your drunk posts continue to baffle me.
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Urist Imiknorris

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Re: OH GOD THE CARNAGE
« Reply #12 on: March 14, 2011, 05:58:06 pm »

Dwarf Fortress:
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD
is more applicable here than in WH40K.
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Sutremaine

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Re: OH GOD THE CARNAGE
« Reply #13 on: March 14, 2011, 06:22:54 pm »

This is why I get everyone into squads early and set up a fortress burrow and a panic burrow. Not forgetting some sort of early warning system; you don't want goblins announcing themselves right in the middle of the panic burrow.
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I am trying to make chickens lay bees as eggs. So far it only produces a single "Tame Small Creature" when a hen lays bees.
Honestly at the time, I didn't see what could go wrong with crowding 80 military Dwarves into a small room with a necromancer for the purpose of making bacon.

Naryar

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Re: OH GOD THE CARNAGE
« Reply #14 on: March 14, 2011, 06:51:06 pm »

Dwarf Fortress:
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD
is more applicable here than in WH40K.

So... Are we all Warriors of Chaos, and Armok is really Khorne is disguise ?
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