Hey! Do you want to feel SO ALCOHOLIC?
Try FORTRESS THRIST!
An energy drink for dwarves who need GRATUITOUS AMOUNTS OF ALCOHOL!
With new flavors like "MAGMANADE" it's like adding lemonade to a MAGMA FLOW!
Change the alert! You're gonna be DEBILITATINGLY DRUNK!
What's that? You want Sweet Pods? Well how about L33T PODS!
Made with Dwarf Milk! REAL DWARF MILK!
Tasks! (AHHHH) You'll be good at them! It's an energy drink for Dwarves! DWARFERGY!
These aren't your Mayor's puns. NOBLEPUNS!
Losing! Energy! Losing! Energy! Losing!
Microcline, Bauxite, Mica, MORE STONES THAN YOUR FORTRESS HAS ROOM FOR! You'll be so fast that your FPS will be like "Sloooooow dowwwwn" but you'll be like F**K you and kick it in the face with your PROCESSOR LEGS! You'll have so much Alcohol, ALCOHOL!
Just working ALL THE TIME!
Powermining, Powerbrewing, Powercutting, Powerpumping, Powerdying, Powergrowing, Powercatting,
KITTENS, YOU'LL HAVE SO MANY KITTENS! 400 KITTENS! Give Magmanade to your kittens they'll be good at TASKS!
Make your kittens mine ABNORMALLY FAST!
They'll mine as fast as Urist! People will watch them mining and think they're Urist!
They'll mine as fast as Urist against actually URIST and it'll be a tie and they'll get deported back to THE MOUNTAINHOME!
Hey, go with the sure thing, don't re-gen on your energy!
SNAAAKE MENNNNN!
Try Fortress Thirst, that will make you (AHHH) TASKS (AHHH).