Mayor's log, entry #01
I finally arrived at the dwarven village of Pageroot. It is said to be the stupidest place on the world map, where the retards of dwarven society end up. Heck, retarded compared to your usual dwarf even. As the brain of the place, I'll have to make sure they can survive the terrors of the word that surely will arrive one day, even though they're too stupid to hold a sword the right way.
No you don't go picking your nose with that arrow dammit!The first thing I noticed was the entrance. It was basically just a roofless corridor, leading into the underground, with nothing but stonefall traps to protect the fort.
Anything able to bypass those traps, say, by flying over them, could wreak havoc amongst the unskilled populace. Before I even entered the main hall, I ordered a drawbridge to be built, both to protect us from danger and to introduce the dwarves to the Hammer->Nail principle.
The main hall looks crude, but functional.
A bunch of workshops, farms, and stockpiles in a room. There's also a trade depot, so getting the goods there won't be a problem, but as far as I have seen of those dwarves they would probably trade an adamantium hammer for a pig tail sock. I'll have to take care of the trading myself, I guess.
Deeper down are the living quarters. Apparently everybody has their own bed, which is good. I still order them to dig out some extra rooms in case we get immigrants.
I also noticed some of the engravings here. They're mainly crude drawings of dwarves, mushrooms, and clouds.
Oh well, if it makes them happy.
Even lower are the mines.
There's silver and gemstones in the walls.
So why hasn't anybody tried to sig it out yet? It's like I'm surrounded by idiots or something.
Oh wait.The shaft goes even further below. Apparently they have breached into a cave system, but at least they had the common sense to build walls before anything could get in.
Oh dear. They found magma. While I see the advantages of a magma forge, those morons tried to tap directly into the magma sea.
Don't they know what's in there? I immediately ordered them to build
a cistern a room right beside the magma where we could store it without any dangerous critters in it.
I also told them to make some room for stockpiles down there.
Damn, that was a stressing first day. I'll update this log a few days or weeks later, if I haven't gone mad until then.
Author
Topic: Moron Fort- A Stupid Succession of Epic Stupidity (.31.19) (Read 13313 times)