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Author Topic: Moron Fort- A Stupid Succession of Epic Stupidity (.31.19)  (Read 13244 times)

chewie

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Re: Moron Fort- A Stupid Succession of Epic Stupidity (.31.19)
« Reply #15 on: March 06, 2011, 06:21:18 am »

Wait a second, so dwarves can perform their skills, they just don't get better at them?
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Greep

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Re: Moron Fort- A Stupid Succession of Epic Stupidity (.31.19)
« Reply #16 on: March 06, 2011, 06:24:07 am »

Yup.  They can do anything they used to do, just not get any better (nor do immigrants/embrarkers retain their skills, they're all 0'd).  Most things are still doable quite well, but e.g. right now 20% of my dwarves are farmers as opposed to the usual 1-2%, and stuff like engraving is not even worth attempting.
« Last Edit: March 06, 2011, 06:46:43 am by Greep »
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chewie

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Re: Moron Fort- A Stupid Succession of Epic Stupidity (.31.19)
« Reply #17 on: March 06, 2011, 08:58:03 am »

That sounds like fun. 8th turn, please
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Greep

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Re: Moron Fort- A Stupid Succession of Epic Stupidity (.31.19)
« Reply #18 on: March 07, 2011, 03:11:01 am »

Okeedoke, write-up should be done tomorrow.  Rather unfortunately, no [CAN_LEARN] seems to also mean no nobles.  And thus no broker.  So diplomats immediately leave in disgust.  Which is rather unofrtunate since I embarked without an anvil figuring I could just order one.  So we could be without metal for quite some time.  Not that, I think, we can even have much great use for it.
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kisame12794

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Re: Moron Fort- A Stupid Succession of Epic Stupidity (.31.19)
« Reply #19 on: March 07, 2011, 08:48:07 am »

i guess i could take turn 9
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Lovechild

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Re: Moron Fort- A Stupid Succession of Epic Stupidity (.31.19)
« Reply #20 on: March 07, 2011, 04:33:00 pm »

oh god, role playing leader logs in a moron fort I take it?  *shudder*
Yup! I'm going to write in the style of such masters as squirrelking and Peter Chimaera.

Trollfic fort? I want turn 10!
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Greep

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Re: Moron Fort- A Stupid Succession of Epic Stupidity (.31.19)
« Reply #21 on: March 07, 2011, 08:06:13 pm »

Okay here it goes.  I'm not quite in the mood to butcher the english language and use it's entrails for writing, so I'll be doing "very stupid" instead of "hopelessly idiotic."
 
From the journal of Rakust Rakustilir, year 6:
 
  Yaaaaaay! I've been chosen to lead the next expedition!  Our king said something about an "experiment in fortress management of those with critically low cerebral activity."  Sounds scientific!  I'm glad to do my part for the kingdom.  My friends said they'd help me out with supplies, here's what they came up with:
 
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

They said there was a typo in the gem's name and all started laughing, but I don't quite get what was so funny.  Well, it's good that they're in fine spirits anyhow.
 
Spring:
 
And so I set off to embark!  My fellow dwarves do not seem to mine rock very fast, so we've been forced to set up camp above ground for a few weeks, and our main fort will be carved in dirt.  It is a sad state to live as elves do, but we work hard so we are happy anyways.  Here is what our fort looks like after our miners have finished their work:
 
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

 
At least below that we have some small rooms so that we may sleep around rock walls, as a dwarf should.
 
Summer:
 
Hooray!  Some more dwarves showed up!   They must have been impressed by our had work!  One claimed to be a great weaver, and attempted to make some yarn out of stone.  He did not succeed.  Perhaps he was out of practice.  We do not have much stone to use, so trading with the kingdom will take a lot of work.  We decide to slaughter some dogs and use their bone and meat to make trade goods. 
 
Autumn:
 
Fall has been a great disapointment.  I was instructed to ask the diplomat for an anvil, but he immediately left, saying he "would not bother discussing trade with a leader who traded exclusive with dead dog products"  We make fine dead dog prducts thank you!  Oh well.  Even worse, the caravan did not have much good stuff.  There were no axes, no seeds, and not one anvil, the only thing we traded for was some food and another pick really.
 
A meeting was held to discuss the future of the fort.  With only one woodchopper, no diplomat, more migrants to take care of, we would run into a wood and possibly seed shortage if the coming goblins would force us to stay indoors away from the bushes and trees.  Many days we deliberated but only concluded that elves sucked and magma was awesome.  Then suddenly oddom seems to have a good idea.  I ask her what it is, but she says words cannot describe it.  She immediately begins piling a large amount of rock around her.  She continues for several minutes and asks me to attack her.  I cannot!  My god, what a brilliant idea! We can pile rocks around the stuff we need above ground!
 
Work begins immediately on the Rock Pile of Greatness, referred to by most as the RPG.
 
Winter:
 
Since the goblins could send an ambush before we are finished with the RPG, we work on some traps in the entrance to our fort.  I was instructed that cage traps would be best, but I do not understand how dropping a cage on the head of a goblin would work very well.  Instead we make lots of stone traps.  Meanwhile, our non-dog animals must have been neglected, as piles of miasma begin growing in our meeting hall and several dead yaks and sheep lie around.  Oh well.  One of our dwarves gets really pissed off about this, but I don't know what to tell her.  Work on the RPG goes well and I am confident that another dwarf can take over to give me a break.
 
More pics:
 
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Okay here's the save, I think.  All I need is to load the region save right?  Save
 
Some things future leaders should know:

A) There's no nobles :(
 
B) Farmers only get one plant per seed.  So don't cook any plant stuff other than syrup, sugar, or quarry bushes.  Except maybe plump helmets, caravans have tons of those.
 
C)Due to a seed shortage in the future being likely, we might eventually want to farm above ground a bit with some herbalists.  Of course, this will be very slow since dabbling herbalists are really really really bad.
 
D)For the sake of FPS, you might wanna slaughter most of the dogs.  They had a rather large litter ;)
 
E) Also, dwarves are all equally bad at stuff, so I personally have a custm profession in DT called "Dwarven moron" that simply turns on all of the lesser important non designation stuff (everything except minind, woodcutting, stone detailing, farming, etc).
« Last Edit: March 07, 2011, 09:29:07 pm by Greep »
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Hugo_The_Dwarf

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Re: Moron Fort- A Stupid Succession of Epic Stupidity (.31.19)
« Reply #22 on: March 08, 2011, 12:01:24 am »


Work begins immediately on the Rock Pile of Greatness, referred to by most as the RPG.

Win
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billybobfred

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Re: Moron Fort- A Stupid Succession of Epic Stupidity (.31.19)
« Reply #23 on: March 08, 2011, 02:01:23 pm »

one day pageroot said i want to make a dwarf fortress so he did

he took a bunch of rokcs and made a wall out of them

pageroot used his pageroot powers to know that the doawrs were bad at fighting so he made tarps instead

he told a dawrf to kill atll the trees and make them into cage tearsps and the dawrf said ok

then he told another dawfr to smooth the walls of everything so the bedrooms would be pretyy

he told the dwards also to dig out the silver caus silver is good and also the gneis next to it because gnis is nice

ther weere a lot of doggies sot they ate some of them and they were tasty

then pagetroots dwarve friends showed up and there were a lot of them

also a guy got popsesd by forces and took some bones and made a crown from them

then yiceimimi the elf showed up to trade stuff with them

elfs are stupid so pageroot said gimme all youur stuf or il kik you in the face and the elf ran away without his stuff

and thats what happened to pageroot this spring
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Greep

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Re: Moron Fort- A Stupid Succession of Epic Stupidity (.31.19)
« Reply #24 on: March 08, 2011, 02:08:37 pm »

:D You have pritty crayon drawings ov fort to shair?
« Last Edit: March 08, 2011, 02:47:59 pm by Greep »
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billybobfred

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Re: Moron Fort- A Stupid Succession of Epic Stupidity (.31.19)
« Reply #25 on: March 08, 2011, 02:49:31 pm »

Pretty much the only thing noteworthy that I did that also needs a pic is this. (composite screenshot ahoy!)
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billybobfred

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Re: Moron Fort- A Stupid Succession of Epic Stupidity (.31.19)
« Reply #26 on: March 08, 2011, 04:03:14 pm »

weh n sumer stareerted pageret decided to make a pastuer for the animals so he dug out some dirt from the mountain and also built morwe wlalls


pageroot wanted to make a  forgery but he dind have an anivli so he couldnt make one

juts then they ran out of rock OH NO WHERE DID ROCK GO

pageroot wents to get his quarryb ut it was missing so hhad to make another one. he makes teh quarry and fort was okay but ston traps were out.
"Watch how you manages that materials just kidding thanks"
"HAha" They laughed

more drawf rfiends arived

pageroot tolds his awdrf friensd to engrave pictures in teh dining rom so they could lok at prety pictures while the eat tastyh gdogs meat and helment muushroms

then one of the dawrfs got sekritive

saquomong the huimin traders arived and pageroot thought maybe to teake their stuf like he took the elfs but he didnt instead he gave them some gems in exchange for stuff like metal but they didnt brin an anvlil and that made pageroot sad

skekrit dwarf took a rock and a cloth andd some bones to make a toy axe it was prety cool cause it had a picture of an oyster and also itself on it

that's wht pagetroot did this summer
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SirAaronIII

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Re: Moron Fort- A Stupid Succession of Epic Stupidity (.31.19)
« Reply #27 on: March 09, 2011, 01:39:58 am »

Looks leik gud alreday! Kee pup dag ud wrok
Is teh dirt messy and bluody from headcrabs elfs yet?

okay, this is starting to hurt me
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Lovechild

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Re: Moron Fort- A Stupid Succession of Epic Stupidity (.31.19)
« Reply #28 on: March 09, 2011, 03:05:33 am »

This is awesome.
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billybobfred

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Re: Moron Fort- A Stupid Succession of Epic Stupidity (.31.19)
« Reply #29 on: March 09, 2011, 04:43:06 pm »

in fall pagerotr looked at the prety trees

pagetros wodcuter friedn saw a bunny and got scared so ran away

saquomong left hapy wit teh ratdngs

pupys got bornd and the dwarfs ated them too

pageroot decided to dig down a ot ant they found a vcarvern
he built a wall to kep teh frot saef cuz iky spiders live in caverns

then they found anoter cavern abuilt a wall again only on teh fluor this time

more dorfses showed up to join pageroots adventr

a lady named aban had a baby girl and the girl was cute

soem reeses monkeys interrupted some guys and it turned out we were running out of booze

pagerot dowesn't like bing sober

the monkey stole a axe

the lialisliaon showed up but left sad because pageroot didnt have a leader to talk to
and caravans came too

there was a goblin pedifil but he got caut by teh caravans and crunched byu rocks traps
so did his partner but teh parter lived and ran away scard

then winter came and it was cold
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