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Author Topic: The DF table of randomness!  (Read 3112 times)

caknuck

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Re: The DF table of randomness!
« Reply #15 on: February 25, 2011, 03:43:15 pm »

41. Enable mining on all idlers. Designate all visible metal ore, gems, flux, coal and clay for mining.
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billybobfred

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Re: The DF table of randomness!
« Reply #16 on: February 25, 2011, 04:49:47 pm »

42. Enable butchery on all idlers and designate all available animals for slaughtering.
43. Enable hunting on all dwarves. Disable auto-forbid of death items.
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plisskin

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Re: The DF table of randomness!
« Reply #17 on: February 25, 2011, 08:05:05 pm »

44. Tibetan Sky Burials! Dwarves may not be buried in tombs. Corpses must be dropped from a great height, outdoors. The greater the impact on landing the better.
45. Oppressive Militocracy! All dwarves with labors of lesser skill than "Great" must be enlisted and stay enlisted with no breaks from their time on-duty. Every year the dwarf from each squad with the worst military skills must endure a week in a danger room with live, sharp weaponry.
46. For The Glory! Dismantle all fortress defenses and traps. During an invasion or ambush enlist all dwarves and throw them at the enemy recklessly.
47. Capital Punishment! All criminals are executed in a specially designed execution chamber. Possible chambers: drowning, incineration, dead drop, dismemberment, impalement, wild animal pit, thrown unprotected into the caverns, locked outside forever.
48. Oppressive Government! As 47, but add that for every child or item stolen from the fort one dwarf must die as an example. Any dwarf that accidentally causes the death of another dwarf must also be executed.
49. Carnivores! Deconstruct all farms. The fort must be fed with meat only and drink only water or imported booze.
50. Merdwarfs! Teach all dwarves how to swim by filling the living quarters with 4/7 of water.
51. Seppuku! Military dwarves may not flee from any hostiles. If the leader of a military unit dies, all remaining dwarves in that unit must kill themselves. If the captain of the guard dies, all soldiers must kill themselves.

That's enough for me for now. This is basically "The Stupid Dwarf Trick List."
« Last Edit: February 25, 2011, 09:40:11 pm by plisskin »
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plisskin

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Re: The DF table of randomness!
« Reply #18 on: March 28, 2011, 06:53:37 pm »

52. Ask the Bay12Forums what to do to your fort. Fulfil the fifth and the second replies you get in the thread. Mention that you randomly rolled for this and so it must be fulfilled.
53. If you've embarked with surface plants, set it all on fire. If nothing to set on fire, reroll.
54. Release all caged animals into the caverns or onto the surface.
55. All military dwarves are taken off of duty and replaced with untrained dwarves.
56. New recruits are given wooden armor and weapons only. Real gear is only given when they succeed in a kill.

Bumping with new entries, since once this reaches 100 I'll probably start a community fort rolling one per year.
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Twistolation

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Re: The DF table of randomness!
« Reply #19 on: March 28, 2011, 08:01:10 pm »

57. Lock up all dwarves idling in the dining room/having a party. and pull 1 random lever of doom
58. Build a lever of doom. affecting the dining room, You may not activate any levers you made yourself
59. BURN BABY BURN, DISCO INFERNO Release magma into a party
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choobakka

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Re: The DF table of randomness!
« Reply #20 on: March 28, 2011, 10:12:47 pm »

60. Put all of your stuff into one huge room. Then collapse the ceiling.
61. Flood half of your fortress with water and half with magma. Have flood gates in between. Open the floodgates.
62. Sacrifice all of your non-nobles to Armok.
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Passive Fist

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Re: The DF table of randomness!
« Reply #21 on: March 29, 2011, 01:55:25 am »

I thought 62 was already standard practice everywhere?
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GamerKnight

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Re: The DF table of randomness!
« Reply #22 on: March 29, 2011, 02:00:25 am »

63. Devote all your dwarves to fishing, and when the fish go extinct, raid caravans by using them as an army.

(I'm doing this at the moment.  :P)
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Twistolation

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Re: The DF table of randomness!
« Reply #23 on: March 29, 2011, 05:48:09 am »

63. Devote all your dwarves to fishing, and when the fish go extinct, raid caravans by using them as an army.

(I'm doing this at the moment.  :P)

And only take their fish!
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GamerKnight

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Re: The DF table of randomness!
« Reply #24 on: March 29, 2011, 06:01:43 am »

Of course!
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ahonek

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Re: The DF table of randomness!
« Reply #25 on: March 29, 2011, 10:42:38 am »

64. Mod in the ability to butcher your own dwarves, and butcher just one, to see how it feels. Make crafts out of his body parts.
A few days later, realize you miss the sensation, and butcher two more, and savor them. Promise you'll never do it again.
The next day, butcher three more, telling yourself this is the last time.

I think you can tell where this is going.
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du3lingdragon

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Re: The DF table of randomness!
« Reply #26 on: March 29, 2011, 05:16:14 pm »

i suggest putting 200 dwarves in a 20 square urist room. LEave them untill they starve and flip out
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Lovechild

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Re: The DF table of randomness!
« Reply #27 on: March 29, 2011, 05:31:13 pm »

65. Create a bear room. You didn't piss off those elves, did you?
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Gatleos

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Re: The DF table of randomness!
« Reply #28 on: March 29, 2011, 08:20:18 pm »

I got bored.
http://www.mediafire.com/?sojdqyjqqfwuoop
It hardly does anything, and the Fun MeterTM doesn't affect anything either. I just started it.

I suggest we split these actions into two categories, something like...
  • Embark Challenges
  • Succession Challenges
An embark challenge would be a special condition that lasts the whole game, like an entirely above ground fortress or killing all caravans. A succession challenge would be a smaller event just to mix things up, like releasing caged animals or throwing a Dwarf into the magma pit. You would roll a new one for each year of a succession game, like Plisskin suggested.
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Mekboy

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Re: The DF table of randomness!
« Reply #29 on: March 31, 2011, 07:21:42 am »

66. Welcome to SPAAARTAA.
Immediately enlist all male dwarves, and equipment-wise only allow them to use spears and shields, no other equipment. Murder all liasons, preferably by hurling them into wells.
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