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[Farseer]

Roughly: My mother is crazy and does all this Wiccan stuff whilst claiming to be Christian. It's her birthday in... Err... About three days.

Any suggestions on where to get "magic crystals" from, gents? I'm in the North-West of England, if that helps. :p

[penco]

1) Stir lots of salt into a jar of water

2) Dangle string of yarn into water for a few days

3) Profit



You might be able to find little decorative crystals from a craft store.

[Fayrik]

Uh, I've seen a couple of good places in my town. They're not going to be much use to you though, since I live on the south coast, and the fuel cost would be something like 10x the little £3 crystals at least.

Try and look out for "Geology" shops or something. I'm sure you could pick up a couple of Amethyst crystals from a place like that.

[Caz]

Where in North West England?

I'm sure if you go in town you can find a new-age shop. Or steal some posh folk's gravel (the shiny white round pebbles)

[Ibid Straydrink]

Here it is, the Blessed Bee.
http://www.theblessedbee.com/contact.html

An online pagan and general esoteric goods shop that I have good experiences with. They do deliver, in case you feel you can do a belated birthday gift. Otherwise, they are based in Norcross, Georgia, but if you give them a call you may find that have something in or near your local area.

Alternatively, I would reccomend asking around in the Pagan or Spiritual chat rooms on Yahoo. Folks there might be able to give you some nearby reccomendations. When in doubt, try the flea market or a city bazaar.

[Lord Dullard]

You could always just grow your own crystals. Or get a kit for your mum. She might enjoy it, it's actually rather fun/interesting to do.

[ChairmanPoo]

Make your own, as they will be for all purposes identical to the ones in a shop, yet much much cheaper.

Break a glass window and polish the pieces, or something

[Farseer]

These are all good ideas.

But I think I know what to do. There's a museum near my house that sells "semi-precious stones" (ie. the worthless, useless ones) and minerals. I'll buy that shit right from there. :p

[Cthulhu]

Just get her a glass of water and tell her it's homeopathic crystals.

[Blargityblarg]

Just get her a glass of water and tell her it's homeopathic crystals.

I wonder if you could homeopathise (I don't know what their jargon is) water into water, resulting in SUPER-REFRESHMENT!

[IronyOwl]

Just get her a glass of water and tell her it's homeopathic crystals.

I wonder if you could homeopathise (I don't know what their jargon is) water into water, resulting in SUPER-REFRESHMENT!

I've heard pure rainwater is a component/focus in some magic. Leaving a jar out when it rains might actually be mildly appreciated.

[Sergius]

Go to the nearest Wizzard's (sic) Tower. Sometimes they won't accept cash, so offer them some sort of reagent. Werebear claws are quite popular nowadays. Watch out for stray Thaums in the environment.

[Farseer]

Go to the nearest Wizzard's (sic) Tower. Sometimes they won't accept cash, so offer them some sort of reagent. Werebear claws are quite popular nowadays. Watch out for stray Thaums in the environment.

I tried that but I got randomly turned into custard.

Instead a friend of a friend told the friend that their mother went to these kind of shops and there was one not too far away.

We got there and it was an "Alternative Remedies" shop. We went inside and it was either some incense or the weirdest smelling cannabis I have ever smelled, but the place stank of it. Some woman came out (she was in her twenties or so), looking like a mixture of a hippy and a stoner and started talking reeeeeeeeeaaaaallly slooooooowlyyyyyy like she had all the fucking time in the world.

I just told her I needed some crystals. She asked what kind of crystals. I said magic crystals. She rolled her eyes at me and asked me what KIND of magic crystals. How do you answer a question like that? I don't know what crystals I bloody need.

She pointed me to a box of them with little labels on what these crystals supposedly do. Bloodstone apparently gives you "passion, vigour and control of anger". I thought it was just for shitty iron, but whatever. Turns out my science is wrong.

I got a bunch of these "crystals" and a book on how to use them. Some girl (younger than me, about 15, I'd guess, or maybe she was older and this alternative therapy shit really does work) came in and said she was "ill and needed massaging". She was informed that the regular masseuse was out today and so she'd have to get it off the stoner girl.

I bought these crystals and left at that point because the girl was obviously uncomfortable with me there because I was barely holding chuckles in at the shit on the shelves.

It was only when I got outside that I was the fucking fool for paying £20 for a BUNCH OF FUCKING STONES.

[Tellemurius]

ha, im going to a mineral show tomorrow, CRYSTALS GALORE! in a science not weird way.

[lordcooper]

Because nobody ever spends $$$$ on shiny things...

Anyway, it's fun to bash peoples beliefs.  God, eh?  What a wanker. 


Funny as fuck.