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Author Topic: Suits and Ties and Decorum all up ins  (Read 2098 times)

JordanBBad

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Suits and Ties and Decorum all up ins
« on: February 18, 2011, 07:44:21 pm »

Decided to give this itch a scratch even if I end up missing completely somehow. I have much needed in terms of life advice, but this is something that needs to just go away.

First of all, I'm not exaggerating when I say I'm not an angry person at all; it's been a while since I've been anything more than a bit annoyed, and I'm able to almost completely repel stress.

But there's always this one topic -- this one measly fucking topic -- that gets me all riled up to the point of having this urge to just grab some random passerby and punch his/her face in repeatedly until they are able to see what his/her backside looks like, whenever the topic's brought up. This topic has to do with the idea that dressing up in business attire makes one superior in experience and skill than one who does not.

It's a stupid thing to get angry over, I know. But it's just so plain out ridiculous, I think, that one can get by in life by merely looking pretty and kissing ass when really their experience in the field is limited to the low B they made in it in high school. I don't get it at all.

And what's worse is the fact that I seem to be the only one that doesn't get it. "Suck it up guy, it's something you're going to have to get used to. Why u so mad??????" they say. Because it's unnatural. Here I am, raised on the old proverb, "Never judge a book by its cover," and now it's a basic part of life that everyone's supposed to just go with??

Maybe it's bias. Maybe I'm thinking too hard on it. But am I wrong in thinking this? How so?
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Vector

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Re: Suits and Ties and Decorum all up ins
« Reply #1 on: February 18, 2011, 07:51:32 pm »

Social skills and ability to project a certain image can't, or rather aren't, graded.

Perhaps they're picking up on something non-quantitative that you haven't considered.
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redacted123

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« Reply #2 on: February 18, 2011, 07:54:07 pm »

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« Last Edit: January 24, 2016, 03:01:12 pm by Stany »
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JordanBBad

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Re: Suits and Ties and Decorum all up ins
« Reply #3 on: February 18, 2011, 08:07:37 pm »

Yeah, I see where you guys are coming from, but when I'm graded poorly during an interview for wearing an old beat up suit because I can't afford to buy a new one, it gets kinda outrageous.
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Vector

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Re: Suits and Ties and Decorum all up ins
« Reply #4 on: February 18, 2011, 08:29:30 pm »

Yeah, I see where you guys are coming from, but when I'm graded poorly during an interview for wearing an old beat up suit because I can't afford to buy a new one, it gets kinda outrageous.

That does indeed make sense.  I'm sorry that the economy's giving you so much trouble...

I'd suggest asking the interviewers for advice on making a good impression despite wearing a beat-up suit.  That might help you for next time.
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"The question of the usefulness of poetry arises only in periods of its decline, while in periods of its flowering, no one doubts its total uselessness." - Boris Pasternak

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Cthulhu

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Re: Suits and Ties and Decorum all up ins
« Reply #5 on: February 18, 2011, 10:35:42 pm »

Perhaps don't wear the suit.  Wear something you can afford that isn't beat-up.  Something more casual but still shows you care about looking presentable.
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squeakyReaper

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Re: Suits and Ties and Decorum all up ins
« Reply #6 on: February 19, 2011, 12:42:40 am »

The face of any company is its people and its heads.  The working history and respectable nature of a person communicates a lot less quickly than how they look.  It's sort of a skill that you have to desensitize yourself to.  While you are a genuine person through and through, to most employers you're just part of the employee mass to look at...  might as well be looking at something presentable, yes?
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nenjin

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Re: Suits and Ties and Decorum all up ins
« Reply #7 on: February 19, 2011, 02:53:40 pm »

You have to be psychotically talented to be able to dress unlike everyone else. Not just "good."

Although I agree, if you can't pull of 100% polished business attire, and there's room for anything less formal at the place you're interviewing, a nice short sleeve shirt, slacks and shoes can be enough.
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ed boy

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Re: Suits and Ties and Decorum all up ins
« Reply #8 on: February 19, 2011, 08:25:02 pm »

People should not drink and drive, but some do it anyway.

People should not gamble themselves into debt, but some do it anyway.

People should not judge the talents of others based on their outfit, but some do it anyway.

If it helps, try thinking of business attire as being like a seatbelt in a car - If the other person does not judge on appearances, then wearing a suit will not hurt you. If the other person does judge based on appearance, then wearing a suit makes a big difference.
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Lord Shonus

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Re: Suits and Ties and Decorum all up ins
« Reply #9 on: February 22, 2011, 11:52:04 am »

Yeah, I see where you guys are coming from, but when I'm graded poorly during an interview for wearing an old beat up suit because I can't afford to buy a new one, it gets kinda outrageous.
Try looking at Goodwill (or the local equivalent thereof.) I just bought a suit for $2.00 that retails for over a thousand.
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ed boy

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Re: Suits and Ties and Decorum all up ins
« Reply #10 on: February 22, 2011, 12:24:30 pm »

Also, a few alterations can be done on the cheap but can make a huge difference.
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penco

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Re: Suits and Ties and Decorum all up ins
« Reply #11 on: February 23, 2011, 04:38:03 pm »

I have the opposite problem. I work at a place where everyone dresses below the standard (that is, the standard of any place that isn't a podunk middle-of-nowhere town like this). I get a lot of guff from my coworkers for dressing too nicely. Apparently, they think I dress nicely because I want to look fancy and better than them. Really, it's just because I have all these professional clothes and don't want to waste them, plus my wife likes me to dress well and a happy wife = profit.

So, I commiserate with you from the opposite end of the spectrum.

The problem, it seems, is just that people just don't deal well when you dress differently from them. I wish I were in a workplace where people were encouraged to dress nicely. I don't feel snobby for dressing nicer than other people. I feel like they think badly of me for it, and I don't dress well to make them look bad. On the other hand, when I go to a nice place with the same people, they look underdressed and silly, and suddenly I am the normal one. It's all silly and relative.




All the dress shirts I buy cost $20-30. I never spend more than $15 on a tie. Slacks cost a little more, but you need a lot less of them. The suit I own cost less than $100 new. Of course, you can get all these much cheaper thrift shopping at resale places.

Try to think of it as a lump-sum investment rather than a whole bunch of small, expensive purchases. $600 or so is pretty cheap when you think of the professional benefit it will give you.

Here's my current professional wardrobe:

-Just over 2 weeks rotation of nice oxford shirts of multiple colors
-15 or so ties (way too many... my wife is tie-happy)
-5 pairs of slacks (brown, navy blue, black, grey, black with white stripes)
-a whole bunch of colored socks (guessing 8 pairs black, 4 brown, 3 blue)
-a reversible black/brown belt


Tips:

-make sure socks match the color of your slacks. Don't wear white socks.

-try to avoid drying your nice shirts because they will shrink and look bad. Put them in the dryer for maybe 5 minutes to fluff them and get out wrinkles, and then hang them. I put them on a hanger and stick them on the shower rod since I don't have a clothesline.

-don't wear patterned shirts with solid ties or vice versa

-when you tie a tie, make sure the bottom of your tie touches your belt buckle



Hope that's helpful.
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Lord Shonus

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Re: Suits and Ties and Decorum all up ins
« Reply #12 on: February 23, 2011, 05:12:05 pm »

I have the opposite problem. I work at a place where everyone dresses below the standard (that is, the standard of any place that isn't a podunk middle-of-nowhere town like this). I get a lot of guff from my coworkers for dressing too nicely. Apparently, they think I dress nicely because I want to look fancy and better than them. Really, it's just because I have all these professional clothes and don't want to waste them, plus my wife likes me to dress well and a happy wife = profit.

I don't get flack for it, but I have a similar situation. To be fair, however, most of the people at work are wearing seven or eight layers of clothes in a vain effort to stay warm.
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Truean

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Re: Suits and Ties and Decorum all up ins
« Reply #13 on: March 02, 2011, 02:54:48 pm »

$32 Suit Jacket.
$10 Black Pants
$7 Collared Shirt.
$0.97 Shipping in the US.

http://www.walmart.com/ip/George-Men-s-Suit-Jacket/13279256.

Unfortunately it's Indonesian Sweatshop Labor, but it works. If its all you can afford, then.... $50 for a complete suit.

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Re: Suits and Ties and Decorum all up ins
« Reply #14 on: March 02, 2011, 03:34:24 pm »

$32 Suit Jacket.
$10 Black Pants
$7 Collared Shirt.
$0.97 Shipping in the US.

http://www.walmart.com/ip/George-Men-s-Suit-Jacket/13279256.

Unfortunately it's Indonesian Sweatshop Labor, but it works. If its all you can afford, then.... $50 for a complete suit.
Even from that picture (which is naturally one of the best representatives of the product line) it's going to be cut like shit and look bad on almost any wearer. You'll look like a goof. Would work for an engineer, if his interviewers were likewise engineers, but for any other professional position--$300 or so is an investment. (And $300 is astonishingly cheap for a decent suit: my better suit was $500, bespoke, my other one was a $350 off-the-rack separates and I could have gone cheaper but I liked the cut of this one better.) A bad suit is worse than no suit at all, because it looks like you don't know how to dress yourself.

'Course, you could also just target employers with a more casual dress policy. For my current position (decent software engineer position, not making millions but doing alright) I came into my interview wearing a button-up shirt and a nice tie; by the time I was talking to the second interviewer, 45 minutes in, I'd ditched the tie and unbuttoned the top button of my shirt because none of the people I was talking to cared how I was dressed.
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