Topic I - Parties and other social activities
* Subtopic 1 - What kind of activities qualify for a good one. Please no suggestions involving alcohol.
* Subtopic 2 - At a social event, what should one do...
*Sub-subtopic A - if you are to supply entertainment. What to bring? What to do?
*Sub-subtopic B - if the party is going a direction you don't want to go. "20 highly personal questions", "Run around town like idiots", et cetera.
Topic II - Social ladders- How the hell do these work? If you're not familiar with my terminology, I'm talking about leaders and followers.
* Subtopic 3 - What do you do about someone who always tries to be the leader?
* Subtopic 4 - If someone is a born follower, how do you get them to voice their opinions?
* Subtopic 5 - When leading, what do you do about others who want to lead? I'm prone to sharing leadership, but oftentimes when I do this, my co-leader starts getting very pushy.
As for the first section, cant really offer any advice, as you should do social things that you find fun, with other people who also enjoy them. So it's really up to you. Bring the party, dont have the party brought to you.
On topic two.
Social ladders is not the term i would use, thinking of people more as cliqes, or groups. Each with it's own social structure and a overlying social structure that ties them all with eachother. Examples being in highschool, you may have had goths, punks, and jocks. They where diffrent groups, some may have got along but they where all tied toghter in the social strata. But I'll use the term anyway
Social Ladders: There are widely speaking domaniant and submissive personality types. A leader in a group can be someone who projects confidence, and just acts like the leader. You should try, next time you are in a group of people to project a false confidence and just start acting like a leader. It's funny how people think you know what you are doing. Also in groups of people a leader may be a dominant personality that has people to back him up. If someone stands up and says lets do this, people may go "no" or "why" or "you're an asshole" but if the same person stands up, says lets do this, and 2 other people stand up and say "yeah that's awsome lets do it" there's more of a chance the group will follow.
3. I'm not sure about the intent on this question, do you mean how to push back agianst a "leader" who you may dissagree with? or how to handle people who have to be the leader? If you have to take someone down a notch, I find that humor is the best way to do it. Hands down. You can confront them, or argue with them, but making a joke that is funny, while making them seem slightly stupid will gain you power in the eyes of a group. Also, having freinds to back you up always helps in any situation like this.
4. That's something that really they have to work on themselves. you can give them advice, talk with them about it, and encourage them to share. but if they dont want to it's unconfortable for them. Give advice, and support+engage them when they do share.
5. Sharing leadership can be tricky, if you are sharing with a good friend you can always talk it out, and often that is the best way to do it. However if it is someone who you may not get along with/not feel comfortable confronting in such a way. It's important that you establish the relationship as partners. They may be testing, trying to take power. Sometimes pushing back slightly can make them understand that you are equals in this. Also in any situation where you are leading a group, the real power lies in the group. So you dont really have to deal with your "co-leader" but instead persuade everyone else.
As a final note, i like what you said about dancing down a hallway, and how nobody cares. Often the most akward people care about what others think the most. And the popular duchebags don't care at all what people think. So It's good to find a balance. If you can really not care what others think of you, than you are all set. Next time you find yourself worrying or nervous about a social situation. Stop caring about it, and you will either burn out wonderfully or it will be just fine.
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