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Author Topic: I just don't care anymore...  (Read 9129 times)

Taricus

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Re: I just don't care anymore...
« Reply #45 on: February 18, 2011, 01:12:50 pm »

You practice your writing and get a sense of responsiblity.
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Ephemeriis

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Re: I just don't care anymore...
« Reply #46 on: February 18, 2011, 01:13:52 pm »

I'm in 12th grade (If I don't drop out, gonna be doing a couple extra years), and I just don't care anymore. I'm in love, and I find life isn't worth it without the person I have feelings for. Whenever I see her, my lungs sieze up and the speech center of my brain seems to shut down. I'm honestly considering dropping out of school.

I'm sorry...  But this literally made me laugh out loud.  Especially when I kept reading and go to:

It's more than a crush. If she were to disappear? I'd most likely end my own life.

...and...

I meant being inferior to her...

Honestly?  If you can't see her flaws, you aren't actually in love.  Sorry.

I'm sure she's an amazing girl.  And I'm sure you'd love to spend time with her.  And I'm sure you've got an assortment of issues that make that seem impossible.  And I'm sure life in general seems completely overwhelming right now.  I can certainly sympathize with all that.

But you really need some perspective here.

Love isn't when your heart races and you can't think straight.  That's lust.  Or maybe infatuation.

Love is when you know a person completely - inside and out, flaws and all - and accept them anyway.  Love is when you genuinely care about another person's happiness and well-being more than your own.

And if you were genuinely in love, you wouldn't be talking about inferiority or contemplating suicide.

You're in the 12th grade...  Your life hasn't even started.  That whole "bottom of the social ladder" thing?  That won't even exist after you graduate from High School.

And you think you've got it hard now with your crush and your inferiority complex?

Wait until you're out of school...  Until you've got a job and a house and responsibilities to take care of.  Wait until the consequences of not dragging your ass out of bed in the morning aren't "I'll get detention" but "I'll get fired".

Wait 'til you've been hanging out with someone for the better part of a decade.  Actually doing things socially and getting to know them.  Become friends.  Consoled and comforted each-other through some genuinely rough crap.  Wait 'til you've got someone you can honestly call a "best friend"...  Wait 'til you genuinely fall in love with your best friend, and they don't feel the same way about you.  That's friggin' rough.

Wait until you've got a wife and kids to worry about.  Wait until you're buried under work, horribly stressed, wondering how the hell you're going to pay the bills, feeling physically ill...  Wait until your kid is struggling in school and your wife is having serious health problems...  Wait until the entire fucking world is bearing down on you and all you want to do is spend the day hiding in bed...  And then you get up and go to work anyway, because you have to, because the people you genuinely love are counting on you - that's hard.

Seriously...  12th grade?  You haven't seen anything yet.

It gets much worse.

And it also gets much better.

Really.  When I think back to what life was like in 12th grade...  It's ridiculous.  It's like a whole different dimension.  Everything was so simple and small back then.

There is absolutely no comparison.

It's like in Wizard of Oz...  How the movie starts out in black & white, and then they get to Oz, and it's all in color.  There is just so much more to life than you can possibly imagine in the 12th grade.

More pain and suffering, sure.  And I guarantee you're in for some major suckage.

But so much more joy and happiness than you can possibly comprehend.  And I guarantee you're in for your share of that as well.
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Vorthon

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Re: I just don't care anymore...
« Reply #47 on: February 18, 2011, 01:17:01 pm »

@Ephermiis:

Seriously... Not helping...
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Tellemurius

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Re: I just don't care anymore...
« Reply #48 on: February 18, 2011, 01:18:51 pm »

Then what do you want to do Vorthon? What do you want that will satisfy your feelings?

Something Evil

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Re: I just don't care anymore...
« Reply #49 on: February 18, 2011, 01:21:06 pm »

Wait until you're out of school...  Until you've got a job and a house and responsibilities to take care of.  Wait until the consequences of not dragging your ass out of bed in the morning aren't "I'll get detention" but "I'll get fired".

Heh. Brings back memories.

What you said was completely true, but due to Vorthon's general apathy, feelings of inadequacy and, well, forests and trees and so on, your point is moot.

The problem is here and now, and, yes, it is most likely just infatuation, with her being put on a pedestal.

I fail to see what your "It gets worse." with a side order of "it may get better", while true, accomplishes. Yes, there are people with bigger problems, yes, the expanse of problems you'll face will grow, but this doesn't solve the issue.
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Vorthon

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Re: I just don't care anymore...
« Reply #50 on: February 18, 2011, 01:21:43 pm »

Then what do you want to do Vorthon? What do you want that will satisfy your feelings?

To make the love of my life happy...
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Taricus

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Re: I just don't care anymore...
« Reply #51 on: February 18, 2011, 01:23:08 pm »

Then what do you want to do Vorthon? What do you want that will satisfy your feelings?

To make the love of my life happy...

Then talk to her, she isn't going to notice you without a voice.
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G-Flex

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Re: I just don't care anymore...
« Reply #52 on: February 18, 2011, 01:24:26 pm »

Ephemeriis was (more or less) spot-on about the difference between love and infatuation.

If you really, truly love and respect someone, you aren't so willing to think of them as something so much greater than yourself.

I'm not saying that there isn't love involved here, just that there's also something else (a sort of obsessive infatuation), and that it is destructive and will prevent you from even seeing her as she really is.
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Tellemurius

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Re: I just don't care anymore...
« Reply #53 on: February 18, 2011, 01:25:08 pm »

Then i want you to start talking to her, find the sweet moment and talk to her. Build up a friendly relationship then ask her out, do not overdo it, make it a simple date, take her out for a movie or food. you are not helping yourself complaining to us you don't got it and frankly its bumming me out.

Heron TSG

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Re: I just don't care anymore...
« Reply #54 on: February 18, 2011, 01:27:34 pm »

To make the love of my life happy...
Do so, then. If you know enough about her to know that she's the best person ever, then you should know what makes her happy. Does she like the adrenaline rush of a roller coaster? Invite her to go with you to a theme park for a day. Does she like jokes? Tell one. These are things that anyone can do, but most people don't care enough to. Show that you care.

Seriously, sitting at your computer and bemoaning your perceived inadequacies isn't going to help you. Stop whining and go do what you feel you need to do.
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Mindmaker

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Re: I just don't care anymore...
« Reply #55 on: February 18, 2011, 01:39:13 pm »

What do you expect from us? You posted in Live Advice, yet you refuse all the advice given to you.

What do you know about her anyway? What qualities does she have to offer except dashing looks?
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Nadaka

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Re: I just don't care anymore...
« Reply #56 on: February 18, 2011, 01:41:21 pm »

He probably just wants to show off his emo.
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Vorthon

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Re: I just don't care anymore...
« Reply #57 on: February 18, 2011, 01:42:27 pm »

He probably just wants to show off his emo.
I'm actually normally a pretty happy person...
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Ephemeriis

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Re: I just don't care anymore...
« Reply #58 on: February 18, 2011, 01:42:36 pm »

@Ephermiis:

Seriously... Not helping...

Honestly?  You don't really sound like you want much help.  You're shooting down absolutely everything anyone is saying.

I fail to see what your "It gets worse." with a side order of "it may get better", while true, accomplishes.

Perspective.  Vorthon has none.

If you really, truly love and respect someone, you aren't so willing to think of them as something so much greater than yourself.

I'm not saying that there isn't love involved here, just that there's also something else (a sort of obsessive infatuation), and that it is destructive and will prevent you from even seeing her as she really is.

Exactly.

Vorthon - the way you're talking about this girl?  That's insulting.  It's objectifying.  It's taking away her humanity and turning her into some kind of abstract idea.

If you really love her, you're going to have to let her be a human.

Then what do you want to do Vorthon? What do you want that will satisfy your feelings?

To make the love of my life happy...

Ignoring, for a moment, the fact that you aren't actually in love...

Do it.

Go talk to her.  Get to know her.  Find out about her likes and dislikes, quirks and peeves.  Hang out together.  Whatever.

Maybe you'll really fall in love.  It happens.  I wound up marrying my highschool sweetheart eventually.

Maybe you'll find out she's really not that awesome.

But sitting around, wallowing in self-pity isn't going to get you anywhere. 

And it sure as hell isn't going to make the love of your life happy.

Unless she's a sadist...  Which might work out well for you...  But you won't know that unless you actually talk to her...
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Tellemurius

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Re: I just don't care anymore...
« Reply #59 on: February 18, 2011, 01:43:28 pm »

He probably just wants to show off his emo.
I'm actually normally a pretty happy person...
seriously biggest contradiction ever XC
out of question, how thick is your Emotion shell?
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