You think you're inferior to her because you have issues with both your self-image and your evaluation of others, particularly her. Of course you think she's that great; you're infatuated with her, possibly even obsessed. You cannot
expect yourself to have very rational opinions of her at this point. You're at the point in your life where you're having strong feelings about things like this, but are not yet very capable of tempering them with rational/critical thought, or limiting your behavior by realizing that your feelings are causing your head to be screwed on slightly less straight.
What you're feeling isn't really abnormal; everybody goes through something like this. There are two conclusions you should reach from this fact: One, that you aren't doomed and can get through it, and two, that, like with everybody else, you're going to learn that you aren't exactly seeing straight. Strong emotions have a way of throwing your perspective and decision-making totally off-kilter, especially if you aren't accustomed to dealing with them.
I'm a nerd, a geek, and I'm pretty well at the bottom of the social ladder.
So what? Social success in high school is hardly a measure of anything. It's high school. You can't judge yourself based on warped, arbitrary standards set up by a bunch of teenagers. You think they know better than you what's important or what makes someone a good person or a successful individual? They don't.
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Topic: I just don't care anymore... (Read 9135 times)