"One the first Divine Ones looked upon a group of seven Dwarves. This would it's first attempt to manipulate them to glory in the name of the Blood God. Upon inspection he realised these frail creatures would need sustenance in the form of food and liquid. They would need to grow plants, and that would require mud. The Divine One chose a simple dwarf, Urist, to be his prodigy, a leader amongst these stunted idiots, whom would relay the commands from above.
Soon, a room had been carved from the soil, with plentiful space to grow the needed nutrition of the mortals, along with a passage towards a nearby river. Without hesitation did Urist order the river breached.
The ensuing flood filled the entire chamber with water, claiming the life of one dwarf. "Carp.." muttered a frustrated Urist, echoing the Divine Ones own feelings.
A second chamber was ordered, further upstream, of similar size. Knowing they would need a way to ensure the water did not overwhelm, Urist ordered a door to be made. Soon, it was placed before the river was breached. It worked in the way it kept water out, but this left the problem of a dry field. Urist watched, puzzled, as one of his charges attempted to open the door. The action let a few drops of water through, but the dwarf decided it prudent to swim through the river and the crashing water instead of taking the sensible route back through the farm. This would have been fine, except for the carp that took offence to this trespass. That dwarf was never seen again.
"Carp..." uttered Urist.
A new plan would be needed, as people started to complain. Urist seriously regretted not arriving with a wagon load of weapons and no pre-prepared food as another dwarf succumbed to hunger. That is when it occured to Urist.
The door plan worked in holding back the water, yet did not let enough through to water the fields. If only there was some way to control the door opening from a distance...
A single slab of rock was carved, named a "floodgate" by Urist. It was promptly installed, with the lowly idiot trapping himself on the wrong side. Of course, this genius decided his best route was through the same river that had claimed his brother not days before. Three dwarves remained. Thankfully, one of the survivors claimed to be part of an experimental group known as "Mechanics". With the use of strange toothed objects, this enterprising dwarf somehow "Linked" the floodgate to a "Lever" within the farm. Urist and the Divine One remain perplexed to how he achieved this with only two of these "Mechanisms", thought it had occured to the Divine ne that Dwarves somehow broke Physics.
Urist ordered the first test, the lever was pulled, the door on the other side was taken away and the water gushed forth. Planning had not gone according to plan, as the mechanic who had taken off the door was swept away by the crashing tide before colliding with a wall. The last dwarf under Urists control reported back, stating that he could not reach the lever due to "Dangerous Terrain" or some such. In lay-dwarfs terms, this meant it was under water.
"Carp!" screamed Urist and the Divine One.
A third cavern was carved, and using the mechanics parchments that he called "Schematics", a similar system was implemented. Urist was careful this time, placing the lever OUTSIDE of the farm, and placing a single door between the farm and the main corridor. This HAD to work. Urist ordered the lever pulled, yet his remaining dwarf would do nothing, except he would lay on the floor, complaining of thirst. Urist sighed to himself, and pointed to the river, literally steps away. But this was to no avail, as the cowardly dwarf died on the spot. With only himself remaining, Urist pulled the lever, and after a few heartbeats, pulled it again.
Carefully, Urist cracked the door and looked.
At last! Glorious mud, and the water was evaporating slowly! Urist quickly rushed to the wagon, threw it open to reveal their impressive armory. The Divine One almost went insane with laughter as Urist had a single thought:
Should of packed some bloody seeds! "CARP!"
"
Admit it, you've all forgotten to pack seeds at LEAST once