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Only with a book of matches

[mimmfantry]

Ostukmesir Solamisden, "Sneakedsower the National Watchfulness", A bitumisnous coal bed.

This is a bituminous coal bed. All of the craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is encircled with bands of pig tail fiber. On the item is an image of Zalstom, the deity of fire, volcanos and fortresses, Depicted as a male dwarf in bituminous coal. Zalstom is screaming.

[PTTG??]

That...

I...

Absolutely.

There was a thread for requesting artifact drawings a while back. I want to see this.

[mimmfantry]

I personally imagine the bands of pig tail fiber as restraints of sorts

[Ultimuh]

I'd rather not sleep in it.
It dosn't seem safe realy.. with the image of a screaming dwarf on it.

[PwndJa]

Flammable material(Unprocessed, I don't care.), a god of fire, and restraints.

I'll take 2.

[NotPete]

"Fire, volcanoes, and fortresses." Throw in madness and slaughter and I think you would have the avatar of Dwarf Fortress. Actually, I think there already is a god like that, Armok, never mind.

Any way, that sounds like the type of bed that they would put on the edge of volcano and make sacrifices on, so sleeping on it sounds like a horrible idea.

[KillerClowns]

Still sounds better than the standard-issue dorm bed I'm sleeping on.  Just have to enforce the "no smoking" rule a bit more harshly than most.  And the "nothing that could make a spark" rule.

[The_Fool76]

Well coal is actually less flamable than wood so ironically its safer than the normal dwarf bed.

[mimmfantry]

Good Point, however coal is fairly hazardous to your health even without burning, black lung and such

[PTTG??]

"Remember, Uristette, don't inhale you bed!"

[Hungry Elephant]

I'm sure it's a bed intended for nobles. You make them sleep there, then put the whole thing in a gigantic bin and set the thing on fire. Being in a bin, the noble will continue to burn for a indefenitely long time.

[Di]

Someone said artifacts burn forever. Sprinkle it with magma and the god of volcanoes will get sacrifices of useless migrants without rooms at regular basis.

[PwndJa]

Someone said artifacts burn forever. Sprinkle it with magma and the god of volcanoes will get sacrifices of useless migrants without rooms at regular basis.

Everything about this bed says do this.

[NotPete]

This is a masterwork engraving made in 1111 by Urist McEngraver. It depicts the dwarf Urist McMigrant, the bituminous coal bed Ostukmesir Solamisden, and Zalstom. Ostukmesir Solamisden is on fire. McMigrant is sleeping on Ostukmesir Solamisden. Zalstom is laughing.

[Flare]

Install in in the nobles' chambers and set it on fire. It'd make a pretty good short story actually, one young noble arse comes to the fort hearing about how all the other officials died of burns, and upon reaching his chambers, is both elated and uneased by the black glowing bed with what appears to be blood streaks left by a hasty cleaning job. Oh, and the smell of roasting beard.