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Author Topic: You see an elf child...  (Read 11075 times)

Mister Always

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Re: You see an elf child...
« Reply #30 on: February 11, 2011, 05:27:27 pm »
Quote from: Deadly Lamarr on February 11, 2011, 02:09:50 pm
If she can't be used as a throwing weapon, I am not sure of what use is the elven child.

You kidding me? At the very least, an elven child can supply you with at least five throwing weapons (flower, individual digits, organs, and any clothing if applicable not included).

Use her head for style points.
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"""The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit." - W. Somerset Maugham" -Forumite" -Mister Always

Aramco

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Re: You see an elf child...
« Reply #31 on: February 11, 2011, 05:31:39 pm »
Quote from: Mister Always on February 11, 2011, 05:27:27 pm
Quote from: Deadly Lamarr on February 11, 2011, 02:09:50 pm
If she can't be used as a throwing weapon, I am not sure of what use is the elven child.

You kidding me? At the very least, an elven child can supply you with at least five throwing weapons (flower, individual digits, organs, and any clothing if applicable not included).

Use her head for style points.

Systematically cut off every limb/organ/etc., making sure she lives the whole time. Then separate her lower and upper body for even more throwing weapons.
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Quote from: G-Flex on May 29, 2012, 10:34:19 pm
Or maybe there's a god who's just completely insane and sends you to Detroit, Michigan in a new body if you ever utter the name "Pat Sajak".

Fniff

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Re: You see an elf child...
« Reply #32 on: February 11, 2011, 06:02:00 pm »
Take her back to her parents. Give her a very nice souvenir from one of my many many night creature hunts. Suggest to her that she should talk about this to her many elf friends. Leave.

Die peacefully in a village knowing I did something right.
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Gatleos

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Re: You see an elf child...
« Reply #33 on: February 11, 2011, 06:28:08 pm »
Quote from: Aramco on February 11, 2011, 05:31:39 pm
Quote from: Mister Always on February 11, 2011, 05:27:27 pm
Quote from: Deadly Lamarr on February 11, 2011, 02:09:50 pm
If she can't be used as a throwing weapon, I am not sure of what use is the elven child.

You kidding me? At the very least, an elven child can supply you with at least five throwing weapons (flower, individual digits, organs, and any clothing if applicable not included).

Use her head for style points.

Systematically cut off every limb/organ/etc., making sure she lives the whole time. Then separate her lower and upper body for even more throwing weapons.
We need to make this into a competition: how many individual throwing weapons can you extract from an elf without killing them?
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Quote from: shadowform on August 29, 2010, 03:05:49 pm
Think of it like Sim City, except with rival mayors that seek to destroy your citizens by arming legions of homeless people and sending them to attack you.
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it would be funny to see babies spontaneously combust
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Deadly Lamarr

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Re: You see an elf child...
« Reply #34 on: February 11, 2011, 06:51:48 pm »
Quote from: Gatleos on February 11, 2011, 06:28:08 pm
Quote from: Aramco on February 11, 2011, 05:31:39 pm
Quote from: Mister Always on February 11, 2011, 05:27:27 pm
Quote from: Deadly Lamarr on February 11, 2011, 02:09:50 pm
If she can't be used as a throwing weapon, I am not sure of what use is the elven child.

You kidding me? At the very least, an elven child can supply you with at least five throwing weapons (flower, individual digits, organs, and any clothing if applicable not included).

Use her head for style points.

Systematically cut off every limb/organ/etc., making sure she lives the whole time. Then separate her lower and upper body for even more throwing weapons.
We need to make this into a competition: how many individual throwing weapons can you extract from an elf without killing them?

Gentlemen, I concede the point. We are one custom reaction away from making a bag from elf skin to carry elf parts for use as throwing weapons after the contest. Awesome!

You can do that with custom reactions, right?
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Quote from: Untouchable on March 31, 2010, 06:29:40 am
Sometimes you succeed in your goals and sometimes you and everyone around you is murdered by a gigantic spider.

C'est la vie

Quote from: Lectorog on June 25, 2011, 01:16:00 am
I'm walking crawling across the continent looking for a crutch. Story shortened, horse ate my foot.

Aramco

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Re: You see an elf child...
« Reply #35 on: February 11, 2011, 06:52:26 pm »
Dwarf Fortress-- Where making a game out of mass-murder is acceptable.
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Quote from: G-Flex on May 29, 2012, 10:34:19 pm
Or maybe there's a god who's just completely insane and sends you to Detroit, Michigan in a new body if you ever utter the name "Pat Sajak".

Gatleos

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Re: You see an elf child...
« Reply #36 on: February 11, 2011, 07:05:21 pm »
This contest is sounding better by the minute. Should I make a thread for it?
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Quote from: shadowform on August 29, 2010, 03:05:49 pm
Think of it like Sim City, except with rival mayors that seek to destroy your citizens by arming legions of homeless people and sending them to attack you.
Quote from: Moonshadow101
it would be funny to see babies spontaneously combust
Gat HQ (Sigtext)
++U+U++ // ,.,.@UUUUUUUU

Aramco

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Re: You see an elf child...
« Reply #37 on: February 11, 2011, 07:59:37 pm »
Quote from: Gatleos on February 11, 2011, 07:05:21 pm
This contest is sounding better by the minute. Should I make a thread for it?
Yes.
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Quote from: G-Flex on May 29, 2012, 10:34:19 pm
Or maybe there's a god who's just completely insane and sends you to Detroit, Michigan in a new body if you ever utter the name "Pat Sajak".

myrkul

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Re: You see an elf child...
« Reply #38 on: February 12, 2011, 01:03:35 pm »
As for the elf-skin bag, in genesis, I frequently run into sentient-critter skins laying around the lairs of beasts I'm sent to kill. Pick 'em up, tan 'em, walk into town with an elf-skin cap.

The elf herself? I'd trim her ears down, stuff her in a bag, drop her off at the nearest human village, and tell her she's a human now.

There is nothing more enjoyable than messing with a kid's head just because you can.
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druid91

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Re: You see an elf child...
« Reply #39 on: February 12, 2011, 01:31:05 pm »
If only, if only, I'd arm her with a bolter, and quiver of ammo. And have her back me up on my crusade to destroy the goblins. Those thieving scum will pay!!!
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Quote from: Jackrabbit on February 23, 2010, 09:44:34 pm
The least you could have done was throw down some booze and seasoning. Abyssal Monsters that Creatures of the Light Know Not Of aren't savages, y'know. Sharing's caring.

DarkHumbug

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Re: You see an elf child...
« Reply #40 on: February 12, 2011, 02:38:53 pm »
punch. lick. repeat.  :)
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Evil One

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Re: You see an elf child...
« Reply #41 on: February 12, 2011, 02:48:41 pm »
I'd engage in a !!SCIENCE!! experiment, testing if Elf ears really do make elves more aerodynamic... By introducing her to a fast moving warhammer and seeing how far she flies!
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Quote from: Shurikane on December 05, 2010, 09:57:00 am
Dwarf!  Indeed, a devious delight fond of drink and industry deceived as both do-gooder and devil by the delusions of deities.  This demander, no daft demeanor, is a driving force of the deadly diocese, now disappointed, delirious from goblin deception.  However, this delicious derangement of a demolished diamond stands determined!

UristMcDwarf

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Re: You see an elf child...
« Reply #42 on: February 12, 2011, 02:52:05 pm »
Orrr,

if I was a Homicidial Beast like the rest of you...  :P

I would probally test how good those pointy elf ears work as improv. daggers.
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Shook

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Re: You see an elf child...
« Reply #43 on: February 12, 2011, 03:09:27 pm »
Well, it all depends on whether i'm feeling nice or cruel.

Nice: Accept flower and beat her to death with it have a nice chat.

Cruel: Modify raws so i can shout her head off in the most literal sense.

Even crueler: Find parents, kill them gruesomely in front of her and beat her to death with their mutilated corpses.

SCIENCE: See how many times an elf child can survive having her own foot thrown at her.

The nice response being far more probable than the others.
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Twitter i guess
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It may be worthwhile to have the babies fall into ring of fortifications or windows, to prevent anyone from catching and saving them.
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Horizon9

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Re: You see an elf child...
« Reply #44 on: February 12, 2011, 03:27:03 pm »
I also had to The Pain in my head when I read that.
Also, about the elf child.
I will touch her and bite her, injecting her with poisons that will subject her to unimaginable pain.
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Quote from: jaxy15 on June 03, 2011, 05:26:43 am
What a tiny roc. I guess I could call it a pebbl.
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