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The Holy Roman Empire

2 (14.3%)

The Timurids

3 (21.4%)

The Mongols

0 (0%)

The Papal States (Oh god, don't do it.)

9 (64.3%)

Spain

0 (0%)

Total Members Voted: 14

[Burnt Pies]

I'm still not seeing those venetian superweapons.

 

Spoiler: This Picture is much more awesome. (click to show/hide)

[Zrk2]

Dohoho stupid thread meme is stupid.

[Zrk2]

Ok, new thread poll now. Tell me, war on the Timurids, or the HRE?

[Zrk2]

Who's ready to get roflstomped then?

[Scaraban]

Who's ready to get roflstomped then?

Me and six seven now others

[Zrk2]

Thanks, asshole, I suppose I'll go make some plans for war against the Papacy, I have a general plan, but specifics will need some work.

I'm hoping to blitzkreig them before they can mount a defence. I figure I can take 3 of their ~6 settlements in the first turn of the attack (which will help) and then Rome 1 or 2 turns after that, leaving them with with Sardinia and Corsica, and the HRE (my biggest threat) ready to hit my capital, so I'll have to attack them too.

Spoiler: Operation: Blashemy (click to show/hide)

Prologue: Priest will be recruited en masse and sent to convert heathens get pious and take control of the college of cardinals.

1. Build the largest army ever compiled.
     A) One army will assembly outside Budapest to attack Vienna.
     B) One will be assembled outside Venice to attack Innbruck.
     C) One will assemble outside Genoa to attack Florence.
     D) One will assemble outside Bern to attack Metz.
     E) One will assemble outside Ragusa to assault Naples. (With navy to curry them across.)
     F) One will assemble outside Tunis to assault Palermo. (With navy to ferry them across.)
     G) The one already at Toulouse will move to attack Bordeaux.
     H) One already around Caen will continue to try and eliminate France.
     I) The forces in the area will fight a delaying action against the Timurids around Thessalonica.

2. Every army will move towards its target, almost every one will have some artillery in order to allow an assault of all the settlements.

3. Operation Exterminatus to keep the population in line.

4. The armies in Florence and Naples will move to Rome to assault it.

5. The army in Palermo will retrain and attack Sardinia.

6. The armies attacking the HRE will fortify their positions and retrain.

7. They will sally north again.

8. France will also face Operation Exterminatus.

9. The Spanish fortress of Bordeaux will couple with Toulouse to retrain troops and send an army into the Iberian Peninsula.

10. ? ? ?

11. Profit?

This will take a long time to prepare, and I don't think I can fund all those armies, but when I can this shall be our plan.

For the moment I shall work on eliminating France, pushing Spain out of France and Basque. As well a war with the Timurids will be pursued as necessary. One France falls I shall put all parts of Operation: Blasphemy concerning the HRE into action. Sound good? I can illustrate it in paint to show you just how fucked we would be if I set it into motion now.

[Scaraban]

I suggest we make Operation Blasphemy into Operation B.L.A.S.P.H.E.M.Y.
but I have no idea what the acronym should be. ideas?

[Zrk2]

Bigass
Lowblow
Assault
Seriously
Pretending
Holy
Extermination
May
Yield (Results)

[KaguroDraven]

I suggest we make Operation Blasphemy into Operation B.L.A.S.P.H.E.M.Y.
but I have no idea what the acronym should be. ideas?

Blasting
Legions
At
Spectacularly
Heretical
Enemy
Megolomanical
Yorganisms(Y is a tricky letter)

[Zrk2]

**Update: In Which We BiWin***

Spoiler: Spain and Venice Go Another Round (Or Two) (click to show/hide)

Following Spain annexing Bordeaux, and Venice taking control of most of France their interests clashed in the area between Toulouse and Bordeaux, due to Venetian Imperialism. Several battles were fought between them in the times when the Pope did not actively act to stop the bloodshed.

The battles were bloody and ultimately fruitless.

By zrk2 at 2011-03-26

Massive armies clashed, but no significant gains were made by either side.

By zrk2 at 2011-03-26

By zrk2 at 2011-03-26

Ever.

By zrk2 at 2011-03-26

Spoiler: The Balkan Front (click to show/hide)

In the Balkans Venice has come into contact with the Timurids. Vicious contact. With Fucking. Elephant. Artillery.

By zrk2 at 2011-03-26

The battles took on an odd air as there was nothing for the Venetian foot to do most of the time.

By zrk2 at 2011-03-26

By zrk2 at 2011-03-26

When the two most feared fighting forces in the world collide, well, shit happens.

By zrk2 at 2011-03-26

By zrk2 at 2011-03-26

By zrk2 at 2011-03-26

Lots of shit.

By zrk2 at 2011-03-26

As well, the Byzantines were still floating around. Just in time to meet the latest in Venetians weapons of war.

By zrk2 at 2011-03-26

And to get destroyed by them.

By zrk2 at 2011-03-26

Spoiler: France Loses (Suprise) (click to show/hide)

France has a long and glorious history of getting its' shit kicked by Italians, leading back several hundred years the the Milanese capture of Paris and the Venetian capture of Toulouse. Well, all that is about to come to a head. Weakened by wars with Spain, Milan, Venice and by frequent excommunication, France sat in a precarious position. To the northeast sat the English holdings of Bruges and Antwerp. To the east sat the formidable HRE, weakened by war with the Mongol hordes, but still more than a match for the pathetic remnants of France. Which leaves us with Frances greatest threat: Venice. Venice has been expanding for the last 100 years, following the collapse of Hungary. Venice has already taken many French settlements, to the point that France is down to three major holding; Caen, Paris and Rheims. A mighty Venetian host has besieged Caen for several years, and the food supplies have run out. Without hope of reinforcements and on the brink of starvation the forces surrender.

This does not spare them, they are executed and the people are put to the sword. The army rests briefly to allow supply lines and the like to solidify, and then moves east, against the two remaining French cities.

While north of Paris the army locates a French force camped near a small village.

By zrk2 at 2011-03-26

Only a few managed to form up before the rout.

By zrk2 at 2011-03-26

They were defeated without much fuss, do to every possible advantage laying firmly in Venetian hands.

By zrk2 at 2011-03-26

The destruction of the army left the poorly defended city of Rheims open to attack. France has pulled all its' forces back to defend Paris, leaving only a bare bones garrison to defend it. The Venetians bring their same massive army, resistance was futile.

By zrk2 at 2011-03-26

Resistance melted away as soon as it was met.

By zrk2 at 2011-03-26

By zrk2 at 2011-03-26

By zrk2 at 2011-03-26

This left France in no doubt as to just how precarious their position was. In fact, it could be argued that their position wasn't precarious, they were already falling to their doom. They quickly agreed the the Venetian demand that they swear fealty.

By zrk2 at 2011-03-26

This brought about some rather odd things.

By zrk2 at 2011-03-26

By zrk2 at 2011-03-26

By zrk2 at 2011-03-26

These ceasefires brought about a peaceful period for Venice, its' traditional enemies had all been placated through their alliances with France extending to Venice, and the Papal restrictions on fighting between Spain and Venice.

Spoiler: A New Hope (click to show/hide)

By zrk2 at 2011-03-26

Spoiler: Meet Your Generals (click to show/hide)

The Guy who got to run the colonization of America: A Sadistic Homosexual

By zrk2 at 2011-03-26

By zrk2 at 2011-03-26

The War Bastard of France: Kicks Spanish Ass

By zrk2 at 2011-03-26

The Doge: One of the lesser Doges, he allows others to do most of the heavy lifting. (But not in bed)

By zrk2 at 2011-03-26

Spoiler: A Non Partisan Pope (click to show/hide)

By zrk2 at 2011-03-26

You guys can probably post to claim generals, I think I can handle it now, and I have shitloads of them sitting around. (Literally in somr cases, I'm shipping some to America to serve as governors.)

[quip]

Now you just need to steal those elephants and modify those elephant cannons...
And if no-one minds I'll take the beard loving sadistic governer of the Venetian States of America.

[KaguroDraven]

Call a Crusade on somone, or destroy the British.
Infact, I request a general who is sent to fight the English(and the scots).

[Zrk2]

Now you just need to steal those elephants and modify those elephant cannons...
And if no-one minds I'll take the beard loving sadistic governer of the Venetian States of America.

Done, he's off to invade the Caribbean.

Call a Crusade on somone, or destroy the British.
Infact, I request a general who is sent to fight the English(and the scots).

The English are my best friends, how about the guy that gets to eliminate France? I'm definitely going for the HRE first. They are already fighting England and the Mongols, most of their castles have 2-4 units defending them.

[KaguroDraven]

Oh fine. Can I aid in takeing out the HRE then?


Also, if the game gets to this point, can I be the general who attacks the Pope?

[Zrk2]

I have a guy in mind for you, he will fight the final battle to take Paris as soon as some French troops move away, or even if they don't. As to attacking the Pope, maybe, but I'm thinking of the 10 star general who keeps fighting the Spanish, but you can definitely take his place as he will be busy fighting on the Iberian peninsula.