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Author Topic: Fun with Statues  (Read 5386 times)

Girlinhat

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Fun with Statues
« on: February 07, 2011, 01:29:58 am »

This is an exceptional steel statue of Zasit Yorsack.
The item is an exceptionally designed image of Zasit Yorsack the dwarf and the steel throne in steel by Zasit Yorsack.  Zasit Yorsack is raising the steel throne.  The artwork relates to the masterful steel throne created by the dwarf Zasit Yorsack for The Shady Torches at Cryptcrew in the late autumn of 1005.

This is something my blacksmith-in-training made.  Apparently, he was very satisfied with a previous chair me made, so much so that not content with the bragging he had previously done, but he had to brag once more by depicting an image of himself bragging.  This is too narcissistic not to place in his own bedroom.

Since I'm spamming out statues to train him up, and keep any entertaining ones, I'm looking for funny or otherwise notable moments.  Anyone else had any great statue humor?

Uristocrat

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Re: Fun with Statues
« Reply #1 on: February 07, 2011, 02:35:47 am »

I have lots of laughs whenever the crappy stone statues I put out front get surrounded by trolls.

Most of the laughs occur after I turn on the repeater that controls the field of menacing steel spikes that completely surround that statue :)  The dumb brutes are too stupid even to flee and they take months to break down a single statue.  And whenever they crush that no-quality statue of cheese, I stick another one out there for them to admire.
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Dorf3000

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Re: Fun with Statues
« Reply #2 on: February 07, 2011, 05:22:57 am »

Statues of the mayor cringing in fear at purring maggots or cockroaches or whatever are good, I like to think that there's an underground rebellion making little acts of defiance at my chosen mayor.  I usually build those statues in the commoners' dormitory or somewhere else that the mayor would be unlikely to visit.

Also, Urist McBlacksmith raising the masterful platinum cabinet/statue/'large object' are funny.  A statue of a dwarf looking like he will be crushed at any second with a giant piece of furniture on his back, veins bulging and rivers of sweat carved on his face.  Or maybe the statue maker throws realism to the winds and carves it like a platinum statue weighs as much as a featherwood ring.  I guess it depends on how friendly the mason is with the smith..  ;)
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Eoganachta

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Re: Fun with Statues
« Reply #3 on: February 07, 2011, 06:11:20 am »

I once got a dwarf who made a statue depicting himself surrounded by statues...
What can I say? The Dwarf liked statues. Notice my use of the past tense there...
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Duntada Man

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Re: Fun with Statues
« Reply #4 on: February 07, 2011, 06:32:42 am »

My last fortress had an odd tendency to make statues about the goblin sieges that had just happened.

Only instead of being about the dorfs killing goblins, it was about the goblins shooting the humans my dorfs cohabitated with. This might be what sparked the war with them...
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Girlinhat: The biggest issue seems to be size.  A 1x1 room would allow for maximum child desecration.

Rastaan

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Re: Fun with Statues
« Reply #5 on: February 07, 2011, 06:36:46 am »

I have lots of laughs whenever the crappy stone statues I put out front get surrounded by trolls.

Most of the laughs occur after I turn on the repeater that controls the field of menacing steel spikes that completely surround that statue :)  The dumb brutes are too stupid even to flee and they take months to break down a single statue.  And whenever they crush that no-quality statue of cheese, I stick another one out there for them to admire.

That is positively dastardly. Top marks, sir.
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UristMcDwarf

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Re: Fun with Statues
« Reply #6 on: February 07, 2011, 07:29:30 am »

I won't be happy until I see an engraving of a dwarf holding up a Steel Sword zelda eque.
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Lamphare

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Re: Fun with Statues
« Reply #7 on: February 07, 2011, 07:29:53 am »

when i trained my metalsmiths, i ended up with over a dozen masterfully/exceptionally designed statues of large roach.
then i put those statues in rooms of people who detest roach.

voila! a HUGE large roach statue in your room!
oh it's even in your favourite metal?
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Girlinhat

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Re: Fun with Statues
« Reply #8 on: February 07, 2011, 07:44:48 am »

I could imagine their little dwarven minds breaking down.  "I hate roaches, yet I love fine pewter!"

Lamphare

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Re: Fun with Statues
« Reply #9 on: February 07, 2011, 08:17:25 am »

it reminds me of the quote on wiki, saying a dwarf who loves to eat purring maggot, while absolutely detests it.
« Last Edit: February 07, 2011, 08:20:48 am by Lamphare »
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EvilMoogle

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Re: Fun with Statues
« Reply #10 on: February 07, 2011, 08:25:58 am »

I made 4 statues for the entryway of my newest fort.

The first was of the leader of group founding the fortress.

The other three were various elves being struck down by legendary creatures of the world.

I'm going to like this fort I think :)
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Dorf3000

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Re: Fun with Statues
« Reply #11 on: February 07, 2011, 08:37:48 am »

it reminds me of the quote on wiki, saying a dwarf who loves to eat purring maggots, while absolutely detests it.

Maybe they really like the taste but hate the way they look?  I imagine them as a kind of furry shrimp, so that makes sense.
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Lamphare

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Re: Fun with Statues
« Reply #12 on: February 07, 2011, 10:15:28 am »

it reminds me of the quote on wiki, saying a dwarf who loves to eat purring maggots, while absolutely detests it.

Maybe they really like the taste but hate the way they look?  I imagine them as a kind of furry shrimp, so that makes sense.

well i've been to a region in china, where processed meat of rat, or rat-like rodent was considered exquisited, and, at least generally, preserved for someone important or a guest. despite my hatred toward rat, the meat was fantastic!
so i guess you are right.
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Urist Imiknorris

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Re: Fun with Statues
« Reply #13 on: February 07, 2011, 10:16:53 am »

It's a figurine, but:

This is a finely-crafted unicorn bone figurine of Lorbam Dragonbeaches.
The item is a finely crafted image of Lorbam Dragonbeaches, the deity of oceans, rivers and rulership, depicted as a male lungfish in unicorn bone by Urist McBoneCarver. Lorbam Dragonbeaches looks offended.
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Dutchling

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Re: Fun with Statues
« Reply #14 on: February 07, 2011, 10:33:37 am »

One of my dwarves, Reg, has two statues in his bedroom:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

When I read that, I was like: Whut? you're not my expedition leader?
Than I read:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

He lasted 1 season before the dwarves got sick of him :P
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