Dear Diary,
Last night I had a dream. I know I say that every night, and sometimes they aren't even that important, but last night was...believe me it was inspiring. Oh what am I doing, trying to convince my diary? For the love of Armok I must be mad.
No, I refuse to believe that! Please ignore that part diary. Anyway, my dream was amazing. I dreamed I was living above the ground, in a grand town full of dwarves who shared my desires and love for the sun! I know it's always been a silly fantasy, as my father always told me "You're a DWARF for the love of Armok, not some cruddy human or stinkin elf, a DWARF! We live underground, now stop moping around and help me plant these plump helmets."
Well I'm tired of living underground! I want to be free above the soil, and I swear I'll do it! Don't doubt me this time diary, I really will, I've just got to find others like me, I'm sure I can do it.
Dear Diary (again),
I did it! Diary I did it! I bet my father would be rolling around in his grave right now if he hadn't fallen into magma, because I'm going to live above the ground! And apparently I have my own subject now.
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The little rat peeked at the doorway, and it had a good feeling about it. His friends called him RandomHallways for his knack of getting into bad spots (or was it because of his mother?), but he wasn't about to stop trusting his instinct now. He was still alive after all, wasn't he? He scurried under the doorway, with thoughts of maggot cheese zipping around in his head, giving him a bit of a headache. Maybe it was because of that he was not as aware as he should have been, but he was halfway across the room before he noticed a looming shadow over him.
"FEE FI FO FUM, I SMELL THE BLOOD OF...Oh hey, it's just you Random."
Oh no...it was that one...
"Quite honestly, I can't see why you would want to see this guy."
"Well I need any sympathetic dwarf I can get" I replied.
"Ah right, well then as you know under the ACIDDD act of 47, all dwarves considered a danger to society can be taken upon journey's provided it is promised and signed that they never return to any major settlement, barring wherever said journy makes camp. You will be liable for said dwarf and punished should the following not be complied..."
For a moment, I considered dozing off, maybe the dwarf would not notice. But no, this was important business, if boring, he should try to pay attention. Sigh, bueacracy could be a pain.
Finally though the guard stopped talking for a moment as he handed me a file.
"Now here is a profile of the dwarf you are interested in, and we can guarantee it's accuracy and professionality" Said the guard as he handed the file over.
"You know, this guy doesn't exactly seem like crazy material" I said after looking at the file.
"Well sir, unfortunately I cannot give you any more information due to the Privacy Act of 40" Replied the guard, with the slightest hint of laughter in his eyes.
"So you can give me his supposedly complete physcological profile but not why he is actually locked up?" I questioned.
"Yes sir, I'm afraid that's so."
"Well then, let's go see him already" I said, hiding my frustration.
The guard opened up the back door and led me down a dimly lit hallway (though now that I think about it, everything was always dimly lit, one other reason to want to live outdoors). I heard the sound of shouting long before we got to the door.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU FORGOT ABOUT ME RANDOM?!"
The guard looked at me as if to say "I told you so". We contined walking to the door as a rat scurried out with I swear a look of panic in his eyes, I began to get a little nervous of this dwarf.
"Hang on, I thought he never got angry" I said.
"Oh sorry, must have been a typo," said the guard, as he opened the door, "well I will let the two of you talk things over, see if he is good and all, enjoy your chat." And with that he sauntered off.
Well I wasn't going to be deterred this late, so I walked in and cast my eyes on the dwarf. The first thing I noticed was his eyes, they were gold and striking, as if they were staring into my soul...it was a bit disconcerting actually.
"Well, hi there." He said.
"Oh um, hi. Sorry about the uh...staring." I stammered.
"Perfectly alright, happens all the time."
"So...if you don't mind me asking, what was the yelling about just now?"
"Oh that was just one of the rats," He replied bitterly," I THOUGHT he was my friend, but apparently he has been avoiding me...pah, 'forgot I was here', that jerk..."
"Oh, well understandable I suppose, I would be angry too if I was being ignored by a jerk like that." I replied, with I'm proud to say only the slightest hint of laughter.
"Of course you would, and he was my only friend! You think he would have more consideration than that."
"Well, maybe that could be fixed. Which is why I'm here. I heard you liked the outdoors, right?"
"Of course, the sun, the clouds, and dirt, it's all so beautful!"
"Well then if you want, I'm preparing a journey, and you're welcome to come along, I need all the help I can get."
"Of course!" He replied eagerly, standing up suddenly, "What the HFS are we waiting for?! Let's go already!" And with that he bolted from the room jumping with excitement.
I started to walk out after him when another guard rushed up to me and pinned me against the wall.
"Ack...sorry about...the guy there...he just got excited" I gasped.
"Huh? Oh sorry, seems I got a bit carried away," He said, releasing me, "I'm Lance, I've heard what you're doing and I want in."
"Oh um well thanks, you certainly have an interesting way of greeting people."
"Oh again, I'm sorry, like I said I got a bit excited. You would not believe how long I have desired to truly be like a human, I would greatly appreciate, no I would be honored if you would have me." Lance said majestically.
"Well, if you really would like to go with us a fighter would always be handy, you're welcome to come."
"Oh thank you so very much," Lance said, kneeling before me and holding out his sword, "I see in you the pathway to what I believe has always been my destiny, to live among the land and under the sun and moon and sky. Since you are granting me this boon I shall serve you faithfully until my dying breath, I shall serve you as your knight and do all that you request. Again, I thank you for what you have done."
In all honesty I stood there a moment staring at him awkwardly, not knowing what to do, so I tapped him on the shouldiers like kings always did in the stories and told him to rise. Then I went after that other dwarf, Ezum.
"Hey Ezum," I shouted as I caught up with him in the lobby, "calm down, we still have to prepare today, we can't leave until tomorrow at the earliest."
"Fine, and my name is not Ezum, it's Human, Human McHuman!" He said heatedly.
"Really? What a strange name...I'm beginning to think you being stuck in here, and that profile thing especially is all untrue. What do you do anyway?"
"I'm a woodcutter!"
"Oh...great." And just for a moment I wondered again how he got stuck in here...
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This is already long enough and this is taking awhile, so I will finish the rest of the backstory tomorrow. I plan to give you DeFaKu an interesting interaction here at least before I head out. I hope Icee and Double A, you two don't mind I made you out to be slightly crazy, I couldn't resist, you gave me good material
Well see you tomorrow folks.
Author
Topic: A Very UnDwarvenly Fort (Read 5729 times)