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[FearfulJesuit]

I am starting a new novel, a love story in a sort of Finnegans Wake-esque style. I provide you with the first two sentences as a taste.

Hcetsel, far thor's even existed, pfast fore the streaming byond wall living, tim beganth slháli swíyeque. Beganningmyth, bourne two sealand h₁estesmi, we erreve bigenning circeler to berthing-place where you'd see t'hie'thim.

[freeformschooler]

I, but, what.
Love, hate, clouds.

[Enzo]

This one's free: people will be more inclined to read your novel if the beginning makes any sense whatsoever.

[forsaken1111]

This one's free: people will be more inclined to read your novel if the beginning uses words.

[Vector]

I am starting a new novel, a love story in a sort of Finnegans Wake-esque style. I provide you with the first two sentences as a taste.

Hcetsel, far thor's even existed, pfast fore the streaming byond wall living, tim beganth slháli swíyeque. Beganningmyth, bourne two sealand h₁estesmi, we erreve bigenning circeler to berthing-place where you'd see t'hie'thim.

1. If it is about Rachel again, I will be very upset.

2. I suggest not attempting to out-James Joyce James Joyce unless you have more familiarity with... well, everything.  He wrote Dubliners before he wrote his crazy post-modern stuff.  Familiarizing yourself more with conventional modes of expression will probably help your cause in the long run.

[Captain Mayday]

This one's free: people will be more inclined to read your novel if the beginning makes any sense whatsoever.

This.

I don't really think the great majority of potential readers are going to understand that style you're using. This seems rather counter to the point of storytelling.

[OmnipotentGrue]

There's a reason most writers write in a language more common than what I'm assuming is Proto-Indo-European (only because of the other thread).

[G-Flex]

Hcetsel, far thor's even existed, pfast fore the streaming byond wall living, tim beganth slháli swíyeque. Beganningmyth, bourne two sealand h₁estesmi, we erreve bigenning circeler to berthing-place where you'd see t'hie'thim.

I think this is what the English language must look like if you have a really high fever.

[Eagleon]

2. I suggest not attempting to out-James Joyce James Joyce unless you have more familiarity with... well, everything.  He wrote Dubliners before he wrote his crazy post-modern stuff.  Familiarizing yourself more with conventional modes of expression will probably help your cause in the long run.

More importantly, he didn't ask the opinions of a random group of people in the process of writing it, thus leading people to believe he knew what he was doing, so that he came off as an artist instead of trying to be artsy and cool and junk. Post-modern is no longer post modern - people are completely jaded to this sort of stuff now.

[Max White]

Ok, so chances are this is just jibberish because it is 100% out of context. The protaganist is reading some ancient script or something.

But that dosn't make it any better a teaser.

[Shambling Zombie]

Is that some form of Ye Olde English?

[Max White]

Lovecraft would jizz himself over it.

[Jervous]

...dude...I see into INFINITY...........

[forsaken1111]

-wonders when the OP will chime in-

[Jackrabbit]

It's not particularly good. I'd lose interest completely if the first sentence looked like that.