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Author Topic: The Jungle Doctor  (Read 9654 times)

Armok

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Re: The Jungle Doctor
« Reply #135 on: March 01, 2011, 03:31:46 pm »

> Find a patient that is female and hot.
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So says Armok, God of blood.
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TolyK

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Re: The Jungle Doctor
« Reply #136 on: March 01, 2011, 03:37:38 pm »

> Find a patient that is female and hot.
this is mexico. what the hell are you thinking?
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just do whatevery tolyK and blame it as a bastard mod
Shakerag: Who are you personally suspicious of?
At this point?  TolyK.

Stone Wera

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Re: The Jungle Doctor
« Reply #137 on: March 01, 2011, 04:20:00 pm »

> Find a patient that is female and hot.
this is mexico. what the hell are you thinking?

I'm pretty sure we're not actually in Mexico. And Paulita is a woman, but that's all we know. She could be the next Glenda.
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AntiAntiMatter

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Re: The Jungle Doctor
« Reply #138 on: March 01, 2011, 05:30:29 pm »

Treat Guillermo Santiago.
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[/post]

Heliman

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Re: The Jungle Doctor
« Reply #139 on: March 01, 2011, 07:30:31 pm »

Quote
Passionately use our tongue to talk our way into finding where the various medical equipment is!
You ask where the medical equipment is.
"It's in the medical supply room, like everything else. Don't go slitting your wrists now."
Thanks, Mom. You think you can handle scalpels.
You get a STANDARD SURGEON'S SATCHEL, complete with a SCALPEL, ANTIBIOTICS, SOME STRESS RELIEF PAINKILLERS, NEEDLES, and SURGICAL SUTURES. AND SOMETHING ELSE CONTAINED WITHIN A DEFLATED BALLOON.

Interrogate Interview Guillermo because his name means William. What an awesome name.
You have no idea that Guillermo means William, but it name seems to... Roll off the Tongue.
(yeeeaaahhh...)

He looks... like every other young, male Mexican you've seen so far. brown skin, taut body, and spiked hair. Lucky you, this one speaks English too.


*Yawn,* Paitent 3: Guillermo
Step 1: Diagnosis
You walk to Guillermo's bed, he seems to be holding his side and moaning in pain. You can totally relate.
"Agghhh!"
"So, what seems to be the problem?"
"It's my gut, senior. It hurts very bad!"
"Where?"
"Right here."

"But there's something extraño about it," Guillermo adds, "It hurts more if I take pressure off it."
"anything else?"
"I haven't farted for a few days too."
"Odd."
You take his temperature, it reads 100oF

You wouldn't be a proper surgeon if you couldn't remember this one... Fuck, what was it again?

ITEMS:
Surgeon's bag:
  • Blood Bank
  • Scalpel
  • Antibiotics
  • PainKiller
  • Needles
  • Surgical Sutures
  • ??? in a deflated balloon

What's The Diagnosis?
« Last Edit: March 01, 2011, 07:48:41 pm by Heliman »
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Darvi

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Re: The Jungle Doctor
« Reply #140 on: March 01, 2011, 07:32:06 pm »

It's his finger <_<

No wait, wrong >_>
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Stone Wera

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Re: The Jungle Doctor
« Reply #141 on: March 01, 2011, 07:36:15 pm »

Montezuma's revenge. Montezuma's revenge is the ultimate answer. Not really.

Cut him open and find the tiny wizard which vexes him. Or anything out of the ordinary, for science! We're a scientist right? No matter, this guy knew what the consquences when he became ill.
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Tylui

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Re: The Jungle Doctor
« Reply #142 on: March 01, 2011, 07:44:06 pm »

YOUR APPENDIX ASPLODE
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Darvi

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Re: The Jungle Doctor
« Reply #143 on: March 01, 2011, 07:49:21 pm »

USE THE HEALING TOUCH.
Passionately. And with your tongue, of course.
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Stone Wera

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Re: The Jungle Doctor
« Reply #144 on: March 01, 2011, 07:58:18 pm »

USE THE HEALING TOUCH.
Passionately. And with your tongue, of course.

Okay, enough with the passionate tounging. It was funny the first time, but now it's just getting annoying.

So please, stop it... Passionately, and with your tounge of cour-- FCUK!!

And yes, I did mean to say fcuk. That was not a typo.
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Heliman

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Re: The Jungle Doctor
« Reply #145 on: March 01, 2011, 08:20:39 pm »

USE THE HEALING TOUCH.

You poke him in the belly. He roars with pain.
"Qué chingados!? Cago en la concha de tu madre!!!"
You have no idea what he just said, but you probably shouldn't have done that.

YOUR APPENDIX ASPLODE
YEEEEAAAAHH!
I mean,
Oh yeahhhh...
You mean,
Of course you knew this one, This poor Latino bastard has Appendicitis.

"You have appendicitis, Guillermo."
"What's that mean?"
"Do you know what an appendix is?"
"No."
"Then to put it into layman's terms, I'm going have to cut you open. Glenda! Prep the Operating room for surgery!"
"Do it yourself!"

Stupid lazy bear-lady.

STEP 2: Surgery

You used some Anesthetics to put the patient under. This is gonna be fuuun~!
You are now Sterilized.
((Think of being Sterilized as being able to use nothing except what came with your surgeons pack, and also being able to do nothing that might be able to contaminate anything in the room (Yes I'm referring to using Lock's Damn tongue! No tongue until at least the second date!)))

Whelp, there's an unconscious Mexican on your operating table.

What do you do?
« Last Edit: March 01, 2011, 08:49:56 pm by Heliman »
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Darvi

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Re: The Jungle Doctor
« Reply #146 on: March 01, 2011, 08:22:43 pm »

Cut him open, cut off the appendix, take out appendix, suture the wound, ? ? ? , profit!
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Stone Wera

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Re: The Jungle Doctor
« Reply #147 on: March 01, 2011, 08:30:15 pm »

It seems like the perfect time to employ... THE BLOOD BANK. Cut him open, and replace his appendix with a coin. So that he'll always trip the metal detector at the airport, no matter what (that'll teach him to come to you for help). And then stitch your name into his side when you're done. Because there's no room for sanity in the field of medicine!
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Elvisdogs

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Re: The Jungle Doctor
« Reply #148 on: March 01, 2011, 08:51:27 pm »

Cut out his appendix, stitch him up sell the appendix put it in a jar and place it on your nightstand
« Last Edit: March 01, 2011, 09:04:18 pm by Elvisdogs »
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AntiAntiMatter

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Re: The Jungle Doctor
« Reply #149 on: March 01, 2011, 08:56:11 pm »

Cut him open with the scalpel, and remove the appendix, then stitch him up again.
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