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Author Topic: The Jungle Doctor  (Read 9657 times)

Heliman

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Re: The Jungle Doctor
« Reply #30 on: January 27, 2011, 09:22:17 pm »

wear aviator sunglasses  8)

machete a tree to death and roll it out onto the road. someone will come. and stop.
You thought you'd never ask. You don the Glasses like an air savvy Maverick with a chip on his shoulder and strut around like a young Tom Cruse.
You're sure as hell not going to carry this guy anywhere. You take a few hacks at a tree, but find that felling trees large enough to block a car is hard. Instead, you decide to just drag the Mexican onto the road, knowing that whoever comes by will probably see him and stop. Probably.
Search the wallet.
Waiting for the car, you take the time to go peeping in this guy's wallet. To your disappointment, there isn't any money inside his wallet, only a driver's license for a Pedro Fernandez and some adorable picture of his daughters.

Wander around aimlessly
You wander around by the roadside for a bit while you wait for a car to come by. You find that, a few yards or so up the road, there's a beehive. Your reaction to it is sort of like this. You decide that car or no CAR it about time for you and Pedro to get as far away as possible from the threatening mass of bees. Now.

ITEMS
Used Syringe (Blood Coating)
First Aid Kit
Machete
Pedro's Wallet

What do you do?
« Last Edit: January 28, 2011, 01:17:34 am by Heliman »
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AntiAntiMatter

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Re: The Jungle Doctor
« Reply #31 on: January 27, 2011, 09:37:00 pm »

Wander down the road away from the bees.
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[/post]

Stone Wera

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Re: The Jungle Doctor
« Reply #32 on: January 27, 2011, 10:50:52 pm »

Use the blood coated syringe to draw moustaches on the adorable daughter pictures as you avoid the BEES O' DOOMTM!
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Doret

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Re: The Jungle Doctor
« Reply #33 on: January 27, 2011, 11:01:38 pm »

Go into shock, realizing you've found yourself in a thirdworld country with none of the comforts we are used to. Cry a bit and become a hardened human being.
Yell loudly at Pedro,"WAAAAKE UP"(Not the bees).
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Could I ever find a signature as catchy as that?

lemon10

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Re: The Jungle Doctor
« Reply #34 on: January 27, 2011, 11:28:06 pm »

Run around (some more) shouting NOT THE BEES, AHHHHHHHHHH!, but this time sound more like nicholas cage
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And with a mighty leap, the evil Conservative flies through the window, escaping our heroes once again!
Because the solution to not being able to control your dakka is MOAR DAKKA.

That's it. We've finally crossed over and become the nation of Da Orky Boyz.

Heliman

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Re: The Jungle Doctor
« Reply #35 on: January 28, 2011, 12:41:16 am »

Run around (some more) shouting NOT THE BEES, AHHHHHHHHHH!, but this time sound more like nicholas cage
AHHHHHHHHHH! WHY DID YOU GIVE SOMEONE YOUR PENICILLIN? WHY DID YOU TAKE A HIPPOCRATIC OATH WHEN IT'S DUMB AND YOU DON'T FOLLOW IT ANYWAY? WHYYYY?

Fear of bees +1


Wander down the road away from the bees.
You attempt to wander down the road slowly, but end up scampering like a little girl, insofar as a one can run while dragging someone behind him.
Eventually you come to a small village, you have no way of knowing this is Put-Put, but you really hope so.
A bunch of villagers rush to Pedro and carry him off, probably to the clinic. Bye-bye Senior dead weight!
You should probably follow them but tugging on 150 pounds of dead Mexican weight for 10 miles has winded you. Who would have guessed being nice was such a restless job?  Speaking of rest, you stumble in between two of the huts sit with your back to one of the walls. To think about things.

Go into shock, realizing you've found yourself in a thirdworld country with none of the comforts we are used to. Cry a bit and become a hardened human being.
You have Aviators on, you've watched Top Gun, and you are not scared. What's dribbling down your leg is not pee, and what's covering your face is not snot and tears, but sweat. Just sweat. The Aviators tell you so.
The Aviators are now Bound to DR. Locke, he can no longer take them off by normal means.

Hardness +1

Quote
Use the blood coated syringe to draw moustaches on the adorable daughter pictures.
You try this, but find that needles are not used as pens for a reason. You poke a hole in one of the pictures and break off the needle's tip trying to remove it. You just decide to just throw both of them away instead.

Your bigoted side also wonders where these people would get a camera to take pictures anyway.


ITEMS
First Aid Kit
Machete

What do you do?
« Last Edit: January 28, 2011, 10:03:14 pm by Heliman »
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quip

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Re: The Jungle Doctor
« Reply #36 on: January 28, 2011, 11:18:29 am »

Passionately strut into the village and introduce yourself to the village people (with your tongue, of course)

What?  This is my first actual suggestion for this game! You shouldn't excpect it to be any good!
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Hell hath no fury like an angry vampire pimp.

lemon10

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Re: The Jungle Doctor
« Reply #37 on: January 28, 2011, 12:14:45 pm »

Passionately strut into the village and introduce yourself to the village people (without your tongue, of course)

What?  This is my first actual suggestion for this game! You shouldn't expect it to be any good!
We saw where using our tongue got us with the last dude. It knocked him out. We shouldn't use our tongue except when we want to knock people out.
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And with a mighty leap, the evil Conservative flies through the window, escaping our heroes once again!
Because the solution to not being able to control your dakka is MOAR DAKKA.

That's it. We've finally crossed over and become the nation of Da Orky Boyz.

quip

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Re: The Jungle Doctor
« Reply #38 on: January 28, 2011, 12:34:57 pm »

we have a knockout tongue? Cool!
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Hell hath no fury like an angry vampire pimp.

Heliman

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Re: The Jungle Doctor
« Reply #39 on: January 28, 2011, 02:10:56 pm »

Passionately strut into the village and introduce yourself to the village people (without your tongue, of course)
You're already in the village, so you strut out, turn around, then strut in again. It always does well to make a passionate entrance.
"Hello my people!"
They look at you for a moment, then go about their business. It's like high school all over again. Apparently, they're not phased by the occasional handsome foreigner, due to tourism and all.

ITEMS
First Aid Kit
Machete

What do you do?
« Last Edit: January 28, 2011, 02:14:05 pm by Heliman »
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lemon10

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Re: The Jungle Doctor
« Reply #40 on: January 28, 2011, 02:12:30 pm »

What do you do?
First Aid Kit
Machete

What do you do?
Is that a hint or something?
Try to find someone who speaks English.
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And with a mighty leap, the evil Conservative flies through the window, escaping our heroes once again!
Because the solution to not being able to control your dakka is MOAR DAKKA.

That's it. We've finally crossed over and become the nation of Da Orky Boyz.

Demonic Spoon

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Re: The Jungle Doctor
« Reply #41 on: January 28, 2011, 02:26:56 pm »

Combine first aid kit and machete into first aid machete.

Requisition a hut for you medical practice, passionately.
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lemon10

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Re: The Jungle Doctor
« Reply #42 on: January 28, 2011, 02:28:07 pm »

Combine first aid kit and machete into first aid machete.
DO EET.
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And with a mighty leap, the evil Conservative flies through the window, escaping our heroes once again!
Because the solution to not being able to control your dakka is MOAR DAKKA.

That's it. We've finally crossed over and become the nation of Da Orky Boyz.

quip

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Re: The Jungle Doctor
« Reply #43 on: January 28, 2011, 02:52:22 pm »

Combine first aid kit and machete into first aid machete.
DO EET.
Pasionately! With your knock out tongue of innuendio!
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Hell hath no fury like an angry vampire pimp.

Heliman

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Re: The Jungle Doctor
« Reply #44 on: January 28, 2011, 03:22:34 pm »

Is that a hint or something?
(No, it's a really shitty typo I keep doing by mistake.)

Combine first aid kit and machete into first aid machete.
You don't care if your mind slashed this idea in half, you think it is a REALLY GOOD IDEA.
You attach a OBSCENELY LONG NEEDLE to the pommel by wapping gauze around it and the handle, and holding the bindings with surgical tape. Then you use the band-aids to make a + sign on the side of the blade.

Your machete is now THE BLOOD BANK. The Hippocritic oath HAS NEVER BEEN SO MOCKED.

It's not much better than a machete, but it looks PRETTY DAMN COOL.

Requisition a hut for you medical practice, passionately.
But there's already a clinic, you can see it, it's right there! Look, Pedro just went in, being carried by all the village folk! You decide to follow him in.

Try to find someone who speaks English.

You meander around the clinic looking for someone who works there (because obviously all doctors in the peace core speak english.)
"Finally! The Surgeon!"
...
HOLY CRAP you found somebody!
The voice is coming from a gigantic yeti large and unattractive lady who must have snuck up on you. The sight of her shrivels up your passion into a little ball of trauma. She looks like the incarnation of every Yo' momma joke ever made. No wonder she's hiding in the jungle.

Currently, she looks like a very annoyed yeti unattractive lady.
"Where in the hell have you been?" she asks.


ITEMS

The Blood Bank

What do you do?

((OP is AFK: Getting a snazzy haircut and elegant yet insinuative suit for dance. literally.))
((EDIT: Fixed Image.)
« Last Edit: January 28, 2011, 06:21:44 pm by Heliman »
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