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[Duuvian]

Oh, what I meant by my post is that it's great to be able to carry around an instrument inconspicuously. By that I mean a laptop. People might look at you funny if you walked around carrying a horn. My bad for any confusion about that extremely long post

[Heron TSG]

What?

[Miggy]

Perform a flourish with the cape, bow down and say "Thank You".

[smigenboger]

Fun with eye contact:
Find a female friend you know and do a silent, non-gesture staring contest. Remember results.
Find a male friend you know and do a silent, non-gesture staring contest. Compare.

More fun:
Try the same test, with different people, smiling, or frowning. It makes a huge difference, or my friends are just odd.

Less fun but still interesting:
With sunglasses.

[Miggy]

Fun with eye contact:
Find a female friend you know and do a silent, non-gesture staring contest. Remember results.
Find a male friend you know and do a silent, non-gesture staring contest. Compare.

More fun:
Try the same test, with different people, smiling, or frowning. It makes a huge difference, or my friends are just odd.

Less fun but still interesting:
With sunglasses.

One of the things that scared me when I started taking notice of my eye contact and keeping it, was that girls and women would keep their eye contact at all costs. Even now I feel most comfortable talking to them two at a time, because that way you can shift between them, not having a literal staring contest with one of them.

[Jervous]

...Am I the only one on B12 that isn't hideously talented? 

I'm pretty bad at everything I've ever tried. Need a hug?

[Duuvian]

Fun with eye contact:
Find a female friend you know and do a silent, non-gesture staring contest. Remember results.
Find a male friend you know and do a silent, non-gesture staring contest. Compare.

More fun:
Try the same test, with different people, smiling, or frowning. It makes a huge difference, or my friends are just odd.

Less fun but still interesting:
With sunglasses.

One of the things that scared me when I started taking notice of my eye contact and keeping it, was that girls and women would keep their eye contact at all costs. Even now I feel most comfortable talking to them two at a time, because that way you can shift between them, not having a literal staring contest with one of them.

I would compare it this way. They look at you like they are watching a television show or play and are using your eye movements as a part of the interpretation of what you mean to them. 'Reading' a person, if you will.

That's why it's easier to to talk to girls when you are both looking at something, because you are not as aware of this fact. A tip to girls: if someone is nervous when talking to you, it's not a bad thing, it's just the above. Almost everyone gets a little nervous when attention is on them; or else they are oblivious. Try looking at and talking about something in their hands or nearby so you both are looking at it and ask a question about it to start the conversation, and be prepared to answer a return question and to supply the followup.

For everyone: Meet their eyes when they look at you and give a little smile if appropriate, maybe nod at their points and be prepared to express your own opinion. Be able to keep relaxed eye contact when speaking points are made by the other at the very least. Glancing away when it's your turn to speak is somewhat normal as it shows you are gathering your thoughts but is by no means necessary. If you pause to gather your thoughts, a Hmm sound with the glance away shows you are about to speak. ([Hmm.] [relaxed glance] {Well, I guess it's OK.} {traversing to regain eye contact})

Note that I'm a dude, so I could be wrong I guess.

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

...Am I the only one on B12 that isn't hideously talented? 

I am 100% useless so that makes at least 2 of us.

[Mindmaker]

...Am I the only one on B12 that isn't hideously talented? 

I am 100% useless so that makes at least 2 of us.

Smart yes, talented no...
It can be depressing here sometimes, if you read about everything that the other people here achieve.

[Heron TSG]

What?

[Vector]

Yeah, you generally try to add a bunch of ideas as "lift-off points" to whatever your introductory remarks are.  You introduce a new topic or whatever and you add a number of things someone can talk about.

So, example:

A: What did you do this weekend?
B: I went skiing.  How about you?

A: What did you do this weekend?
B: I went skiing at _______ with ________ [for the first time/like I have every year/blah blah blah].  [Insert brief qualitative information about experience, usually involving weather so that friend can have something to talk about no matter what].

In my experience, this is how you get conversations to last.

[Gearskull1]

In my experience, charm is being intrested in other people and their ideas. Be it sincere or not.
peoples favorite topic is themselves and what they like. asking questions, and smiling are important. Most conversations are mostly body language and a little bit spoken word. Think about how you are holding yourself as you talk. If you look confident, you are confident to those who see you. Stupid but mostly true.

I was a listener untill I became a talker, and now I enjoy talking because you can get as much from how people react to what you speak as you can from listening to what they say.

[Heron TSG]

What?

[Arni]

Thanks from the people stalking this thread to learn somthing as well

[Zrk2]

Yes, thanks. Now I just have to tackle my insecurity.