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[Ochita]

I AM DAVID BOWIE ALSO

what..

[GlyphGryph]

I have the most numbers under my face. This makes me happy, yes... all according to plan...
So, will you be speccing me for a crossbow, or will I double wield picks? Double wielding picks sucks, of course, but it is so very cool.

Let's go hunting to secure some provisions! If nothing else, we can go hunting at the labour camp.

[MaximumZero]

I still would like to punch some things/people in the face.

[Farseer]

What.

You've never played this game, have you? :p

[The Doctor]

No. No, I have not.

[breadbocks]

I still would like to punch some things/people in the face.

If you want to try that with toads, in all likeliness, the toads will end up punching you in the face.

With their penises.

[Akigagak]

go to the moathouse now.

Let's go hunting to secure some provisions!

I still would like to punch some things/people in the face.

To the moathouse it is!

EDIT: Spoiler alert! 3 things die next update.

[The Doctor]

A penis, a toad, and our dignity?

[Farseer]

go to the moathouse now.

BUT I--

YOU'RE WORSE THAN THE POLITICIANS!

[HLBeta]

To the moathouse it is!

Yup, this LP's a keeper.

[Akigagak]

Enough of this prancing about looking for druids in this little town! Lets get to the moathouse and solve our problems!
What.
You sure, Lad? I hear there are terrible creatures here, frogs the size of wagons and other nasties. It is said they like to pin you down an-
I do not care! We must deal with these bandits by punching them! In the face!

The journey to the moathouse is... short. A couple of hours or so, at most. Along the way almost ran into a pair of Skeletal Gnolls, but we managed to evade them*, heading onwards to the Moathouse. The skies are dark when the little party arrives.

This surely a most creepy place.
Shut up, you. We hired you to blast things with magic and nothing else. Onwards!

*Ka-sploooosh*

Giant frogs! ruu-
By Moradin's Beard! They're gonna rape us with their penises!



After a hurried bit of manuverering, Ochita attepmts to put one of the frogs to sleep...
don'twannagetpenisinmyorifices
...but fails.

The dwarves all set about the frogs, hacking at them with their weapons, but the frogs stay standing, and attempt to latch two of the dwarves with their tongues. Idram dodges the long, sticky, prehensile appendage easily, but Griffin finds the penis tongue of the other frog wrapped gropingly around his waist.

Eeewwww, this feels wrong, in so many god damn ways.

Until, that is, Max steps up and delivers a crushing right hook into the frogs face, killing it instantly.



Hell yeah.
Pictured, Griffin getting stuck in the "Flail Wildly" animation after being grabbed.

The rest of the party focuses on the last frog. Magic missiles fly, and Idram swings wildly at it, dodging another attempted rape soon after. Max, Griffin and Urist rush over to help, but a second frog appears and tries to flank Max.



But both of the frogs are swiftly dealt with, to the relief of all. And nobody was hurt and/or raped!

*victory musics*


*Because I don't feel like a TPK at the first battle. Despite all appearances.

[Farseer]

I have to say that it saddens me that D&D only really works when you have a DM fudging all your rolls.

[Akigagak]

I have to say that it saddens me that D&D only really works when you have a DM fudging all your rolls.

No fudging was done, good sir. There are still more frogs and bandits to go, if you want to see party death.

Also, that fecking spider.

[MaximumZero]

That's right. Face punching is the answer to our problems.