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Voting closed: January 20, 2011, 01:41:37 pm

[kzel]

Target assessment report

Name : Imsalerush
Location : Cursed lands
Occupants : Dwarves
Assigned Agent : Slijlakis
Date : End of Summer 101

 The settlement of Imsalerush is very easy to locate. The outside area is filled with nothingness, and the occasional not-dead-anymore is very easy to sneak by. Any of our thieves or ambush squads should have no problem reaching the site. You will know when you are near, for the inhabitants had the audacity to build us a beacon. It is made of black obsidian and shines in the sun far away. If anything, the tremendous clanking of metal against metal should be easy to listen to miles away.

 The wealth of the settlement is very high, with confirmed golden goblets and aluminum treasures among other beautifully crafted weapons and armor. One spear in particular caught this agent's eye, worn by one the defendants of the place. By listening in on conversations around the object, it seems a dwarf named Deviled created it in a moment of inspiration. My appraising assistant (the messenger who brought this report) estimates its worth at more than 100000 dwarven currency. This would make a suitable gift for our great tribe leader !

 I advise an early assault to take advantage of the troops poor training, most of them seem novice at best, and their equipment slows them down to a crawl. A team of bowkobolds should have no trouble showering them with arrows and retreat before they get close. Beware of them in close combat, their armor shows little weak areas and their weapons, while held by shaky hands, look razor sharp and would make short work of our best leather tunics. I have personally observed them test their weaponry on nearby not-dead-anymore monkeys, and they were quickly dispatched.

 The place seems difficult to infiltrate while the complete garrison is guarding the beacon. However, the military tactician thinks that any threat must be charged with the full force of their military, leaving their settlement wide open. Luring a few beasts here with some rotten meat should make it possible for a squad to go in and appropriate some of the rich clothing they left casually behind, before attempting to reach the vault a little further below. I have spotted a group of huge skeletal elephants nearby, and think they would make a tempting target for this overconfident force. The size of the beasts should make them long enough to take down (again), allowing our forces plenty of time to plunder.

 Possible problems include the seasonal arrival of merchants. Elves arrive by the end of spring, and by the time of this report's writing humans have shown up and were looking to trade. I advise an assault during spring, for we may seize the content of the elf's caravan as well as the dwarves riches. Humans and dwarven caravans are guarded by rapid forces that could pose a problem, and are best left alone unless we incur heavy casualties. There are far enough riches in the settlement to not worry about the potential wealth they bring.

 This agent will stay in position observing the settlement until new orders arrive. Haste is requested in the decision to proceed for these dwarves, however slowly, seem to get better at warfare by the day. Some of them even started being recognized by their peers as proper axe and speardwarves. No doubt the foul greenskins have heard of the settlement as well and are mounting a secret assault squad as we speak, and it would be disaster if we were to meet them on the field of battle.

Glory to the kobold nation!

Slijlakis

[MagmaMcFry]

I just noticed: Due to the evolution, this fort will someday be absolutely awesomely dwarfy.

[kopout]

so, Is it the second year? Can I do one now?

[Ghills]

This is awesome. Can I be dwarfed?

[MagmaMcFry]

so, Is it the second year? Can I do one now?

2nd Round - Play now!

 
You have until next Wednesday.

[kopout]

It's late summer 7 people are dead including bloody moron and we have no booze. We do have an artifact however.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

12th slate some migrants arrived working on getting a path for them to enter the fortress
4th felsite One of the migrants foolishly tries to hunt the skeletal elephants
9th felsite numerous dwarfs have left the safety of the fortress muttering something about "must stockpile" I fear for there safety
13th felsite I have ordered the dwarfs inside to keep them away from danger while a stone worker bravely attempts to link the bridge to a lever so it may be closed.
18th felsite a blacksmith by the name of Onol Shebethcog has been killed by a skeletal elephant 
19th felsite elven caravan arrived from Ola Iyilo, they did not survive the skelephants.
27th felsite The bridge has been raised now the vial skeliphants can no longer torment my dwarfs, the order to stay put has been lifted
14th hematite The bridge retracts rather than rises. It must be deconstructed and rebuilt.
20th hematite More migrants have arrived sadly this is during the bridge reconstruction effort so the must remain outside in the rain.
7th malachite bridge completed the survivors are all being ordered inside seven dead including the previous manager bloody moron.
20th malachite Nish Sarveshzoz has begun a mysterious construction in the mechanics workshop
4th galena It has come to my attention that during the frantic bridge building we managed to run out of booze! as a temporary measure (and a fail-safe should this disaster ever be repeated)I have set up a water source in the caverns which are much safer than the surface.

I seam to be having FUN

[SurfinShroom]

Can I be dwarfed? Please

[kzel]

THE IMSALERUSH GAZETTE, autumn 101 issue
now illustrated

Surface reclaim efforts remain constant

 Our brave forces are still engaged in a deadly battles against the forces of the undead, but the fight has now been taken to them. Confident of their skill and equipment superiority, Commander Kzel ordered that any undead threat be immediately pursued and eliminated. Asked about the wisdom of such a move, here's what he had to say :

Kzel : "There is little risk of any of us being wounded, now that each one of our soldiers is equipped with the finest steel. Some live action training is however direly needed, and these undead monsters are pretty decent target dummies."
TIG : "Why not use wooden weapons to lengthen the fights and provide more practice then?"
Kzel : "Wooden weapons ? Are you kidding me ? Do you work for the elves ? Get out of my sight ! We'll use steel, as is the dwarven way, and nothing else ! ... If you'll excuse me, I have a big cat to bring down. Iced, lead the charge !"

 Our commander has started to keep a ledger for every kill our army makes. It now contains several entries. Few members of the military wished to share their experience of the battle of the skelephants, and our reporters were too far away to take any pictures at the time. Still, if the ledger is to be believed, the undead menace is shrinking in the region, and we only need to fear more cunning invaders in the future.

BREAKING NEWS : Injury in the defense of our town !

 Randy Gnoman, one of our brave defenders, was wounded in the battles against the skelephants ! No wonder no one wanted to talk about it, especially the commander after his earlier promise of near invincibility. Randy provided us with a detailed report of his movements at the time, and it appears the armor he was wearing was barely of any use against the might of the skeletal beast.

 His leg shattered, he had to limp by himself to our new hospital complex, where Nish provided him will all the care he could need. Interrogated about the events of the day, our commander had nothing to say, and declined our demand of an interview. Rest assured that the Imsalerush Gazette will do all in its power to investigate the matter fully.

New apartment blocks inaugurated!

 We move on to some better news : the first set of apartment has finally been opened.

 Commander Kzel immediately requisitioned 20 rooms for him and his men, and ordered them to put their discarded clothes in their cabinet as soon as they could. If only he would give them some leave, but he has them training 100% of the time, so they as of yet had no time to do any cleaning up.


Know your enemies : the goblin snatcher

 MagmaMcFry bumped in a golbin snatcher while going back from a much needed drink. This raises more issues concerning the current military campaign that leaves our front door barely guarded most of the time. When you see something moving in the shadows, remembers these simple questions :

Does it have green skin ?
Is it carrying a bag ?
Is the bag moving on its own ?

If the answer is yes to any of these, shout as loud as you can, so our soldiers can hear you. And PROTECT THE CHILDREN!


Artisan of the month : UmbrageofSnow

 Umbrage of Snow made a beautiful artifact earlier this month. Its decorations are rather sparse, but the quality of the piece is undeniable.

[Scaraban]

This is a forum post. It menaces with spikes of Following and is adorned with rings of quantum dorfing

[MagmaMcFry]

To all the people watching this thread: Have a go too! You know, the two weeks are almost over, but we still only have 1.25 years of timeline. So I will give you another week (I'm away from Thursday to Thursday), and it's your responsibility to keep this thing running. If we still don't have at least 3 complete timelines on Friday, Feb 11th, I will be very disappointed. So go and play a year. You can make a difference. You can participate in the creation of a really great fort.

Go play, and make it dwarfy.

[MagmaMcFry]

I mean it.

[CrimsonEon]

I mean it.

Ok, off I go!

Also, Dorf for me?
EDIT: I'd prefer him to be a Doctor with at least Diagnosis and Male

[kzel]

I've got winter finished but I'll wait until next week before posting it, I wouldn't want to spoil the events that could happen in another timeline 

[CrimsonEon]

Right, Spring's done, and here's the story of a relatively sane dwarf.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Enolic's Journal: 28 Obsidian
Another day, another assignment to another fortress. The last one wasn't quite as cozy as I expected, what with the water freezing temperatures in some places and magma rivers elsewhere and skeletal batmen everywhere in between. Seeing all the death and decay around didn't help me either, along with the almost unbearable heat, I still wish I had brought my lucky silver drinking barrel. Something tells me this next assignment will be just as fun.

Over one more mountain, amidst the rising light of the next sunrise, I caught sight of a canyon ahead, I saw the what looked like an upside down face atop a large stone base.



I buried my face into my palm.

"Here we go again."

Enolic's Journal: 1 Granite
After a brief meal, I made my way down the side of the hill, towards the huge statue. Clearly this was the work of either a egotistical maniac or a moron. Either way, it marked civilization, and no doubt was my destination.

The statue grew as I approached, its base just seemed black, with no markings or any hint of an entrance. On the other side, there was just a small inclination seeming to mark a ramp, but it didn't connect anywhere.

I had no choice but to either wait for find another way. I shouted, "Hello? Anyone around here?"

No response. I groaned.

But I heard stomping, the ground seemed to be shaking slightly, behind me, I could see giant, lumbering skeletal elephants, somewhat aggravated by the noise.

"Oh Armok..." I turned and started banging on the stone base, "Anyone! I could use help!"

"Quit making such a ruckus." I looked up to see a dwarf atop the base of the statue. I could still hear the elephants behind me, "What do you want?"

"What? I'd like to get INSIDE before I'm torn apart by elephants, that's what!"

"And you are?" The dwarf lazily responded

"DOCTOR ENOLIC UZOLIDEN, NOW IF YOU WOULD PLEASE-" I shouted, but the other dwarf turned and walked away, "WHAT? JUST LIKE THAT? I-"

'Just get inside' The dwarf walked to the side with the ramp-like inclination and laid a plank between it and the top of the statue base.

"Er, what kind of-" I heard the skeletal elephants nearing, "Ok! Ok! Coming!"

Enolic's Journal: 2 Granite
The entire statue was built atop the entrance point for a shoddy encampment, complete with a population of 18 dwarves. The entire place was dirty, disorganized, and I had to sleep on the ground the previous night. The inhabitants didn't seem any more organized either, each of them off doing their own thing, one counting rocks, for some reason.

The previous day I had integrated myself in the dining room, any of them had been asking what a doctor was.

"What do you mean 'what's a doctor'? We've been employed in the dwarven workforce for decades!" I shouted

"Still dosen't ring a bell." A dwarf stated from his table

I twitched in annotance "We perform surgery on wounds, mend broken bones-"

"Still got no idea." The dwarf said, returning to his food

"Just ignore him." Another said.

I spent my time later following the militia commander, oddly named 'NobodyPro', around.

"So, is there any leader or such I should be talking to..?" I asked

The commander shrugged, "Closest one to leader around here is the Bloody Moron, who just counts rocks most of the time, half the time his orders aren't worth following"

I scratched my head "No plans to make a proper fortress?'"

The commander looked down the hallway "Well, we've sort of started on some groundwork to the north, but it's only partway done."

"And you've survived how long?" I asked, confused

"'bout a year." The commander scratched his beard

"A year?" I widened my eyes, astonished, "You survived, both in a hostile wasteland and in a, pardon me, DUMP of a fortress, and built a statue while you were at it?"

"Pretty much." The commander blandly stated

I buried my face into my palm again, it was like the last five fortresses I was at all over again, "You know what, this fortress needs better direction," I lifted my head up, "And here's how it's going to be done..."

Enolic's Journal: 12 Granite
Convincing the others wasn't simple, many just brushed me off, but at least the miners and mason listened.

The place needed to be revamped, and the half-done fortress design was the start of it. I had no idea what to do with what was dug out, but I decided to carve a similar floor below it, and make it into a grand dining room. Our farming area was also lacking, and decided to add on a section that would serve our farming and food needs for a long time. The miners, now happy with something to do, set off to work today, and hopefully it'll be done in a month's time.

Enolic's Journal: 23 Granite
Today I had to meet the 'Leader', apparently he was the only one aside from me who had any sort of dedication to manage the others.

I found him in the lower levels, near the magma sea, counting rocks. I approached, "Erm, I'm guessing you are MagmaMcFry?"

The Bloody Moron turned around, "Oh, hello" the dwarf raised his finger when facing me in apparent greeting, I scowled in return.

I buried my face into my palm, "Look, can you help me?" I raised my head up somewhat, "I need you to get whoever can shape rock to make at least 20 tables, thrones and statues as soon as possible. I'm busy directing the excavation of a dining room."

"Who are you again? I don't remember you." MagmaMcFry stood up

"Doctor Enolic, I recently arrived." I straightened my face, "And I presumed you were the leader here, what with the statue and all."

"Oh, my statue! Did you like it? I looked upside down once, so I had to tear it down in order to get it right." MagmaMcFry beamed in self-admiration

"Er, I've got to go, the miner's will need me to direct where to dig."

"Okay," MagmaMcFry turned around again, "If you see a tree on the surface, tell it I'm sorry about the cat incident a few days ago."

"Right..." I turned to the stairs.

Enolic's Journal: 12 Slate
A group of migrants from the mountainhomes arrived, perhaps the largest one yet at 19 dwarves.

...Most of them threshers, potash makers and dyers. I swear there's a noble at home who's just trying to ruin my day, every day.

Enolic's Journal: 24 Slate
The new dwarves had been getting acquainted with the encampment for the past week, and I've been putting most of them to work preparing for the grand dining hall's opening.

Upon walking down the hall towards the site of construction, a dwarf pulled me aside, "Erm, excuse me, but have you seen my friend Nomal anywhere?"

"Dosen't quite ring a bell." I replied, "He's probably around somewhere. If you don't mind, I need to get to work."

Enolic's Journal: 26 Slate
Another dwarf pulled me aside today, this one the blacksmith named 'Valience'. I wsan't quite listening the whole way through his ranting, but it was something about unacceptable control of people.

"Ok, ok, look, what specifically is your problem here?" I interrupted his ravings.

"What's my problem? Some dwarf just took up my forge and isn't coming out!" Valience shouted

"Then move him out! If he's not behaving then just move him aside!" I asserted

"I tried, the door to it is locked and when I tried to stick my hand through a hole to open the door, the sod bit me!" Valience raised his hand to show a deep bite mark.

"Ergh, alright, I'll help." I began to walk down the hallway

"Sir, the forge is this way." Valience stated impatiently

I twitched, "I just got turned around is all, this place is confusing."

Enolic's Journal: 27 Slate
The dwarf proved unresponsive, but inside the forge he sounded like he was hard at work, constantly whispering to himself incessantly while loudly banging metal against metal. I was convinced we should just leave him be for the time.

Enolic's Journal: 28 Slate
Standing in the middle of one of the recently excavated farming areas, I looked about in awe as I pictured the place filled with food.

And again, I was interrupted, this time by the same dwarf that interrupted me four days ago.

"Doctor Enolic? You'll never believe this!" The dwarf spoke

"What, another leak? I thought I told the mechanics to get the irrigation-"

"No, my friend Nomal? It turns out he was the one who shut himself into the forge!" The dwarf happily replied

"Well great, your friend's a mental defect," I snapped back, "now if you'll-"

The dwarf interrupted again, "No, hang on, he's finished his work!"

"Oh, right, I've heard about these kinds of nutcases before," I buried my face into my palm, "All right, bring me to him, but if it's a pine amulet I SWEAR I'll gut him myself."

Upon approaching the forge once more, many dwarves appeared to be gathered, I could hear the commander 'NobodyPro' and another dwarf shouting.

"It's beautiful! I need that for the army! It would crush everything!"

"No! No! Just let me look at it for a bit longer..."

I parted the crowd of dwarves aside, to see NobodyPro and the dwarf 'Nomal' fighting over a...

"Holy Armok." I stood in awe.





"You made this?! I can't believe it!" I struggled to pronounce my words, "What's that on it's side? It looks like an image of... Itself?"

The lead mace had an image of another lead mace, with another one in it, I almost felt dizzy looking at it, "Erm, don't look at it too long, sir, it's a paradox." Nomal stated, "By the way, I think it's called Zesasteb, well, at least taking from all the scribblings I made in my stupor."

"I definitely can imagine it smashing some bones," NobodyPro stated, "Now come on, give it here!"

Enolic's Journal: 17 Felsite
Things have been rather quiet, except for the 'dormitory', with so many dwarves, many of us are having to sleep on the floor. No longer, I've ordered the first floor of the fortress carved out for bedrooms. Hopefully it will compliment the dining hall below.



Enolic's Journal: 19 Felsite
I take the quiet comment back, Elves have arrived, and everyone's fretting around me, telling me to close the gates. Though by the time I approached the lever for the entrance bridge, the Elves were already in. Oh well, at least we could trade with the crafts I've had made.



Later that day I made the fateful order to have a dwarf dig a channel aside the river to start the irrigation system for the farms.

"But, there are Elephants out there!" The dwarf objected

"Well, that's a risk you'll have to take then." I replied, "The farms are necessary."

"Can't you get MagmaMcFry to do it?!" The dwarf stammered

"He doesn't know how to use a pick, apparently, do we want to risk another incident with magma?" I asserted

"How can magma get up to the surface?!"

"Not taking any chances, get going."

Enolic's Journal: 28 Felsite
The irrigation system was ready, and many dwarves gathered outside the farming rooms to prepare for it's first, and only use.

"Alright, back up everyone, there shouldn't be any leaks, but if there are, the exit is that way." Udrim, the mechanic directed.

I could hear banging from the other side of the door, "Erm, I think there's someone locked on the other side."

"Oh that's just MagmaMcFry, he'll be fine." I remained silent as the mechanic reached towards the lever that would partially flood the farm chambers, "Right, three, two, one, GO!" The mechanic flipped the lever.

Nothing happened, the room was silent aside from the Bloody Moron's bashing on the door.

"Ugh," the mechanic took out a small gear from his beard and looked inside the lever's base, "There." The mechanic placed the gear inside and stood again, "Three... Sod it." He flipped the lever again, and a rushing sound was heard, the mechanic flipped the lever again, the rushing stopped, "Alright, it'll be a bit, we need to wait for it to dry out..."



Well, things seem to be progressing well, just wait until the skeletal elephants start rolling in...

Goddamn me and my tendency to write unnecessarily long stories.

End of Spring. Summer Autumn and Winter to go.

Also, the artifact made must be the most lucky artifact I've made since DF2010.

[MagmaMcFry]

I found an Internet connection!

So we only have 3 timelines for this year. I want to see more timelines for Round 3!

How's your fort going, CrimsonEon? Haven't seen an update since I lost connection.