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[Thundawich]

There is a girl in my life that i have feelings for. I have had these feelings for a little while.

I recently approached her about my feelings, but was bitterly dissapointed when she said she had feelings for another guy.
Since then iv been feeling kind of empty inside and lonely, even though we still talk a fair bit.

I'm just asking if anyone has any advice to help me get through..... ive never been in a situation like this before so i dont know what to do.

Thanks......

[Max White]

Ah yes, this most age old of topics.

She isn't into you. This is your chance to prove your a man by respecting her wishes. You took a swing, you missed, now move on. Maybe there is another cute girl out there you might want to ask out? I'm sure after a date or two, you will find moving on a little easyer.

[Vector]

I feel for you, man =/

I generally watch a lot of violent movies or indulge in other guilty pleasures--crime novels, Chinese opera, cooking, whatever.  Anything I can do to get my mind off it.  I also write a lot in journals and stuff to get my feelings out, because even if you don't want to let the entire world know how you feel it can help a lot to just write it out somewhere.

What else do I do... comfort foods, like gelato and pie in my case.  But mostly, I think what helps is getting a project, something you can throw yourself into, and something you work on even when you don't really want to.  In my experience, that's the single thing that helps most.  Try something you'd never do usually, just to give yourself something new to experience and pay attention to.

On the other hand, I've never asked anyone out, but I've experienced similar hurts--so don't take my advice like I was some sort of veteran getting-turned-down dude.  There may be better specific advice from someone else on here.

[Thundawich]

I've been trying to take my mind off her.... but i cant do it. im scared that she'll get hurt again. lately iv been watching movies and thats kinda helping, but im just about out of decent ones.

Shes the first girl iv had feelings for, so i just dont know...... but its not like she hates me or anything so i spose thats an upside

[Vector]

Well, if it's really your first one, then I'd say... really don't worry about it.  You're young.  You've got lots of time to enjoy ahead of you =)

And it's not so much "getting your mind off it" that matters as "not obsessing."  Think about it, but don't let it dominate you.  If you don't think about it, you won't learn anything.  If you let it dominate you, you'll learn the wrong stuff to such a degree that it's not useful.  So, just... do what you can to enjoy life, I guess.  That's all you can do.  And while you're healing, we're here for you.

[Thundawich]

Thanks vector =)
i wouldnt say im obsessing, but it does get me down a fair bit, although just typin this kinda stuff out seems to help =)

im 17, and like i said before, im not a real socially active person. never been into the whole school thing of date whoever looks at you.

but thanks, feelin better about it sorta, =)

[Mindmaker]

Listening to sad music helped me, when I felt down about the whole relationship stuff.
Might not be for everybody though.

[ILikePie]

I go to the gym when felling down. Running around aimlessly and lifting some weights has always made me feel better.

[hawkeye_de]

I go to the gym when felling down. Running around aimlessly and lifting some weights has always made me feel better.

+1

Try to do exercises and get yourself occupied with stuff, which needs your full concentration. Do not watch TV or that things because then your mind drifts away (at least this is the case for me).

[Miggy]

Make sure to keep in mind that this is simply a brief thing. You may not be able to get her out of your head, you might find your mind constantly drifting to what she's currently doing or what she might have been doing earlier, but this is simply just you being infatuated. Accept that your mind drifts to her, then ignore it. Eventually the infatuation will fade and everything will be same old same old. If you're sad, feel sad. This is one of those things where time really is the best cure.

[sonerohi]

Like others said, physically exhaust yourself and once you get to feeling like taking a nap, force yourself to read a good book.

[Deus ex Machina]

Just ignore her.

Women love guys that ignore them.

[The Merchant Of Menace]

I know I do...

[Deus ex Machina]

Watch as I do not pay attention to the woman.

[Vector]

Watch as I do not pay attention to the woman.

... Doesn't posting to her in reply imply that you're, you know, paying attention to "the woman?"

Man.  You've got to get better at this "ignoring chicks" thing or you're never going to get one.


In more seriousness: going for women who hate being ignored will only net you a woman who hates being ignored.  I imagine the novelty will wear off for you pretty quickly.  I.e., as soon as you actually catch one of these fabled "women" things we don't get to see very often from the comfort of our computer chair.


Sorry for being mean.  You're annoying me.