FANTASY TURN:The quest for
The Keystone has begun.
Goals"KIDNAP THE MAYOR OF THIS TOWN AND ESCAPE" Complete!Throw Ogomspoxom into the fires of Mt. Helmath! Complete!Establish diplomatic relations with the Goblins! Failed MiserablyBrave the depths of Bistökmafol and deliver the package.
Current SoundtrackMarsh LandActionsFW: On to the leg!
(...) Your other leg pops out of existence! Thankfully, the stump is patched over with skin. But there's still that other wound to worry about. The mass of tissue ceases spewing from your arm, terminating at about twelve feet in length.
Fantasy:Continue going down into the depths of the fortress.
(...) You spit out Derm's leg and walk toward the trapdoor, immediately tripping over the huge pulsating mass sticking out of his torso! You fall on your face and roll down the stairs into the hallway below, only narrowly avoiding snapping off your remaining limbs!
FW: Head deeper into the fortress.
(...) You sprint down the stairs, trample Frelock, and proceed through a narrow corridor into a large chamber. You're on a cross-shaped walkway, overlooking a dimly-lit legendary dining room. The dining room is decorated with countless ☼engravings☼. At the sight of its magnificence, you begin to drool and
Little Urist stands on end. A sound behind you breaks your stupor. You whirl around to find a Bat Man hovering in front of the doorway!
"Ahhhhhh, reclaimers! Been a while since the last team. I'd turn back if I were you. Bistökmafol belongs to the caverns now, and there's no changing that! EEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE"
You can still see the carnage... The militia fought for days against the never-ending tide of wicked children of the earth. Shambling eyeless Ogres, shrieking Crundles, and towering, chittering spiders massacred the fortress defense squad with wild abandon.
- Tobul's wife was in that squad. He had lost everything. In a fit of rage, he slaughtered Ismel the cavy pup and destroyed the masterwork table of Ingish Olonnakish, the legendary mason.
- Ismel's owner, Mosus, returned the favor, lighting the fort's cat population on fire with the help of a lignite torch and several mouthfuls of highly flammable whiskey.
- Ingish the mason, devastated by the loss of his magnum opus, put Kogan the gemcutter in the hospital.
- Dozens of widowed spouses and mourning ex-cat-owners lost their minds, killing violently and indiscriminately in a berserk rage.
- Urist Zuntîrtob, the local soapmaker, butchered his own pet cat to make a bone crossbow. He fought his way out of the orgy of violence that his home had become, and became the sole survivor of the fallen fortress of Starbrew.
You can still hear the cackling of the denizens of the deep as they ran amok in the fortress, ripping your fellow Dwarves limb from limb. The cacophony haunts you to this day. It sounded like... Like... "EEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE"
"RRRRAAAAAGGGGHHHH!! Begone, foul beast! Back to the festering chasm from whence you came!"
"...Eh?"
You tackle the Bat Man over the edge of the walkway, tumbling down two stories and dashing his body against a thick stone table! The Bat Man's skeletal system shatters from the impact, and the table splits straight down the middle! You lift yourself off the Bat Man's shattered corpse, breathing heavily. Suddenly, two spear-wielding reptile men advance from the darkness!
"Big mistake, Dwarf."
Fantasy: Follow Urist.
(...) Descending the stairs after Urist, you find yourself in a large chamber overlooking the legendary dining room below. You can hear a commotion below in the dining room, but you can't see Urist!
Fantasy: "The same place we all come from- where do you think? Enough of that now, where's Bloodbeard?"
(...)
"The same place we all-"
"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOUR LEG?!"
"Oh, uh... It's kind of complicated. You see-"
You're interrupted by the sound of a fast-approaching group of people climbing the stairs just outside the cell!
"Oh my, someone's trying to get in!"
The handle on the reinforced steel door begins to turn...
Status
Player: dermonster
Name:
Derm Hell-binderOccupation: Elemental Mage/Summoner.
Location: Entrance Hall, Bistökmafol
Currently: Playing DNA roulette.
Inventory:
Robes | Spiffy Hat | Keyring|
Mutie (Commanding) |
Sword |
Armor |
Rat x2 (Commanding) | ≡Plump Helmet Roast≡
Wounds:
Heavy Burns |
Brittle Skull |
Missing Right Arm |
Missing Leg x2 |
Very Heavy Bleeding |
FaintAbilities:
Gift of the Magi (...) |
Squishy Wizard |
Summoner (...) |
Tentacle Arm |
Water Blast |
Superheat |
Tectonic Shift |
Lightning Rod |
Bonesalve The Savior of Mending
Player: Frelock
Name:
Frelock Von-HeisenbergOccupation: Luck-o-mancer (Manipulating probabilities of things)
Location: Entrance Hall, Bistökmafol
Currently: Laying on the floor.
Inventory:
Gold Coin |
Peasant Robes | Golden Pocket Watch |
Map of Westport |
Long Sword |
Armor |
Spring Shoes | Derm's Leg
Wounds:
No Liver |
Missing ArmAbilities:
Smooth Criminal |
Accident Waiting to Happen |
Befuddlement |
Legsplosion |
Greater Legsplosion |
Armsplosion |
Lich Curse
Player: HighEndNoob
Name:
HighEndNoobOccupation: Ninja Sniper
Location: Dining Room, Bistökmafol
Currently: Looking around cautiously.
Inventory: Robe |
Throwing Dagger x18 | Musket | Musket Ammo x13 |
Sword |
Tattered Shirt |
Leaf Barrel |
Key x1 |
Map of BistökmafolWounds:
Missing ToothAbilities:
Immaculate Aim |
Clumsy Fighter |
'Splode On Impact |
Best Death EVAR |
Legendary Swimmer
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name:
Urist AnvilsmasherOccupation: Soapmaker
DescriptionLocation: Dining Room, Bistökmafol
Currently: Expounding fervently.
Inventory: Cave Spider Silk Shoes x2 |
Monkeytear the Fanciness of Wearing | Bar of Kitten Tallow Soap |
Battle Axe |
Bamboo Pegarm |
Stone Arm |
OzurlidodWounds:
Missing Arm x2 | Crooked Toe |
Heavy Bruising |
Missing Tooth x2 |
Black EyeAbilities:
Dabbling Surgeon (...) |
Meager Social Ability |
Martial Trance |
Prehensile Beard | Legendary Leatherworker
Name:
MutieDescription: A giant mass of biological matter with a cat head sticking out of it. It takes orders from Derm.
Inventory: None
Wounds: None
Abilities: None
Locations
Ashiorid
Hellfire Cove
The BorealisCondition:
Sunk
Westport
Mayor's Ogomspoxom's Former Manor
Forest Retreat
Nolsmustul, Goblin Fortress
Author
Topic: Roll To Roll To Dodge: A Meta-Adventure [Turn 126: Booze Mist Rising] (Read 304070 times)