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[Dermonster]

RW: Me: Find a nearby teleporter.
MC: Assimilate.

FW: Summon magic on self arm.

[RedWarrior0]

Y'know, some people use darkling.

[Dermonster]

Y'know, some people use darkling.

Yes I do. Is there something I missed?

[RedWarrior0]

Y'know, some people use darkling.

Yes I do. Is there something I missed?

More aimed at Gat and the RARGLEBLARGLY WHITENESS OH My GOD picture.

[Gatleos]

Y'know, some people use darkling.

Yes I do. Is there something I missed?

More aimed at Gat and the RARGLEBLARGLY WHITENESS OH My GOD picture.

The tranparency makes it look nasty. I suppose I could try to remove the background, but that'll take some doing.

[Dermonster]

Can't really cater to both darkling and original at the same time. Or if you do, you cut out a couple colors like yellow and purple because in one of the themes, the other is too hard to make out from the background.

I use darkling because my eyes like it better. Just do as you always do.

[mcclay]

quick, everyone go through the portal. Skip a lot of Fantasty world plot!

[HighEndNoob]

Meta: Use the propulsion of the pressure-washer to blast me back through the portal.
Fantasy: Find whoever said that, and shoot him.

[monk12]

quick, everyone go through the portal. Skip a lot of Fantasty world plot!

Oooh, I hadn't even considered what happens to my fantasy character if I'm, y'know, traveling through time. Hope my collar doesn't go off.

[_DivideByZero_]

RW: Step forward and demand that these strange people tell me what on Earth is going on.
FW: Stand up.

[Frelock]

Meta: Jauntily walk back to the elevator and hit a floor we've yet to go to.

Fantasy: Go find something small and guilty, bite its legs off, and get some magic hands!

Screw time travel.  I'll only travel to the future, at a rate of 1s/s.

[Gatleos]

Let's play a game of musical limbs!

**********~
Turn 119
**********~

META TURN:

Well... uh... okay then.

Goals
Find the keycard stations.

Current Soundtrack
Elevator Room

Actions

Meta: Jump through the portal!

(...)

"ARGLEBLARGH"

You backflip through the portal! Your body is thrown violently through a nightmarish void of swirling images, and you exit the portal in- surprise- space. There's no sign of Kyle anywhere.

RW: Me: Find a nearby teleporter.
MC: Assimilate.

(...) You can't seem to find a teleporter around here.
(...) MC stumbles around the room, absorbing more webbing and bits of metal.

Meta: Use the propulsion of the pressure-washer to blast me back through the portal.

(...) You fire the pressure washer, propelling yourself backward through the portal! The giant spider drifts back to the portal and follows you through it. On the way back through the time vortex, the spider slams into something traveling the other way and gets knocked out of the time stream! You subsequently arrive back in the storage room, one turn after you left. Perfect! Cleanz0r rolls into the room and awaits orders.

RW: Step forward and demand that these strange people tell me what on Earth is going on.

(...) Before you can say anything, one of the spacesuit-wearing people gestures to the others and turns toward you!

"We're you from the future, okay? Now, if you'll excuse us-"
"Wait! Who's that you're fighting? What are you-"
"Sorry, can't tell you information about your own future."
"Then why did you tell me you were from the future?"
"Because that's what the last guy said."

He gives the thumbs up to the others and they continue fighting.

Meta: Jauntily walk back to the elevator and hit a floor we've yet to go to.

(...) Ignoring the teleporter that Derm is unable to find, you snag the keycard and walk out into the charred laboratory. There still seems to be a gas leak. You don't feel so jaunty all of a sudden...

The portal on the wall begins to close! One of the mechanical humanoids fires some sort of energy weapon at the opposite wall, and another portal opens!

Status
Player: dermonster
Name: Derek L.
Occupation: Video game Developer/designer.
Location: Secondary Storage
Currently: Searching in vain.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Splint | Bottle of Painkillers | Keen Helmet | Pencil x4 | Coffee Mug | Sonic Cannon | Marshall C. Coburn (commanding) | Micro Mecha Spider (commanding)
Wounds: Heavy Burns
Abilities: Code Expert | Neckbeard | NERD RAEG
Player: Frelock
Name: Frederick Stephonavich
Occupation: Actuary (Knowing probabilities of things)
Location: Laboratory
Currently: Feeling sleepy...
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Laser Dagger | Cheetah Arm | Thermometer
Wounds: Missing Arm | Heavy Bleeding
Abilities: Uncanny Prediction | Actuary's Lament | Tweak the Odds (...)
Player: monk12
Name: Monk
Occupation: Troper
Description: Characteristically wears nice hats. Top hats, pirate hats, fedoras, you name it. Hopefully still has one in his possession.
Location: Secondary Storage
Currently: Suffocating.
Inventory: Moist Top Hat | Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Plasma Rifle | Balloon Animal | Mirror Suit
Wounds: None
Abilities: Applied Phlebotinum | TV Tropes Will Ruin Your Life | MacGyvering | Telekinesis | Pyrokinesis | Legendary Record Keeper
Player: HighEndNoob
Name: Kyle Hammers
Occupation: Janitor
Location: Secondary Storage
Currently: Leaning on Cleanz0r.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | Jumpsuit | Mop | Rubber Gloves | Medkit | Power Cleaner | Wheelchair | Burlap Sack | Spray Can | Gas Mask | Bucket | Cleanz0r (commanding)
Wounds: Missing Legs | Triple Head Bumps | Blind
Abilities: That's The Power of Pinesol, Bitch! | Clean Freak | Custodial Might | EMT | Digitigrade Legs | Telepathy | Clairvoyance
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name: John Freeman
Occupation: Drill Sergeant
Location: Secondary Storage
Currently: Being curt with (possibly) himself.
Inventory: Explosive Collar | 1/2 Jumpsuit | Turban | Unicorn Band-aids | Glass Shard | Fake Ammo Belts | Caruso Shades | Cheetah Arm | Spacesuit | Arm Cannon | Paperweight x3
Wounds: None
Abilities: Major Payne | Fullmetal Jacket | Apocalypse Now
Name: Marshall C. Coburn MkII Combat Droid
Description: A giant mechanical spider made of smaller mechanical spider parts. It was fitted with an advanced AI routine and can now talk. It also has a self-powered eye-laser taken from the remains of Xenocalamus.
Inventory: None
Wounds: Missing Leg
Abilities: Eye Laser | Web Shooter

Group Attacks
Impromptu Singalong
Spur of Conflagration to Giga Lazor

Locations
The S.S. Periclase
Main Deck
Deck 2
Maintenance Deck 3, Main Elevator
Maintenance Deck 3, Living Quarters
Maintenance Deck 3, Engineering Lab
EARTH!
Elevator Controls
Interrogation Room 7E-365 (Deck M3): You were all shackled to chairs in here when you woke up. The door has been dropkicked off its hinges. There's circuitry on the walls, a row of monitors, and a row of 5 chairs.

Spoiler: INITIATING RTD ROUTINE (click to show/hide)

FANTASY TURN:

The quest for The Keystone has begun.

Goals
"KIDNAP THE MAYOR OF THIS TOWN AND ESCAPE" Complete!
Throw Ogomspoxom into the fires of Mt. Helmath! Complete!
Establish diplomatic relations with the Goblins! Failed Miserably
Brave the depths of Bistökmafol and deliver the package.

Current Soundtrack
Marsh Land

Actions

Fantasy: Continue splitting the party.

(...) You continue to head away from the party, making a mental note to turn this into a running gag through a Scooby Doo reference later on-

-light up the sky as they burst overhead. Screaming and clashing of swords can be heard below, and glowing flames rise from the keep's windows. Heat from the flames rises through the narrow window, permeating the small, circular stone room. A man wearing a lavish white suit calls to you from the other end of the room.

"I say, where the hell did you come from?!"

FW: Summon magic on self arm.

(...) A gigantic, pulsing mass of exposed muscle tissue shoots out of your arm stump!



"TETSUOOOOOOOOOOOO-"
"AAAAAAHHHHHHH"
"-OOOOOOOOOO-"
"AAAAAAHHHHHHH"
"-OOOOOOOOOOO-"

Fantasy: Find whoever said that, and shoot him.

(...) You spin around and fire a buckshot toward the voice!

"HOLY CRAP"

(...) The familiar undead Elf deftly dodges the slew of bullets! Meanwhile, you are propelled off of the edge of the floating continent due to the kickback of your rifle-

-runs past you, muttering Monty Python quotes. No wait, he's actually going to bite something's legs off. Eww. Oh hey, you're back in the fortress!

FW: Stand up.

(...) You struggle to your feet and dust yourself off.

Fantasy: Go find something small and guilty, bite its legs off, and get some magic hands!

(...) You wildly sprint down the stairs, looking for blood! At the bottom you find a nice, juicy Dwarf leg to sink your teeth into! (...) Urist yelps and dives out of the way as you lunge at his legs! You continue running forward, homing in on an epicenter of sin!

"-OOOOOOOOOOO-"
*CHOMP*
"AAAAAAAGGGGHHHH"

You absorb Derm's blood and grow one shimmering arm!

Status
Player: dermonster
Name: Derm Hell-binder
Occupation: Elemental Mage/Summoner.
Location: Entrance Hall, Bistökmafol
Currently: Bleeding all over the damn place. Turns out them blood bones ain't too sturdy.
Inventory: Robes | Spiffy Hat | Keyring| Mutie (Commanding) | Sword | Armor | Rat x2 (Commanding) | ≡Plump Helmet Roast≡
Wounds: Heavy Burns | Brittle Skull | Missing Right Arm | Missing Left Leg | Very Heavy Bleeding
Abilities: Gift of the Magi (...) | Squishy Wizard | Summoner (...) | Tentacle Arm | Water Blast | Superheat | Tectonic Shift | Lightning Rod | Bonesalve The Savior of Mending
Player: Frelock
Name: Frelock Von-Heisenberg
Occupation: Luck-o-mancer (Manipulating probabilities of things)
Location: Entrance Hall, Bistökmafol
Currently: Considering exploiting his and Derm's powers to farm body parts.
Inventory: Gold Coin | Peasant Robes | Golden Pocket Watch | Map of Westport | Long Sword | Armor | Spring Shoes | Derm's Leg
Wounds: No Liver | Missing Arm
Abilities: Smooth Criminal | Accident Waiting to Happen | Befuddlement | Legsplosion | Greater Legsplosion | Armsplosion | Lich Curse

Player: HighEndNoob
Name: HighEndNoob
Occupation: Ninja Sniper
Location: Tower Complex, Bistökmafol
Currently: Just a tad confused.
Inventory: Robe | Throwing Dagger x18 | Musket | Musket Ammo x13 | Sword | Tattered Shirt | Leaf Barrel | Key x1 | Map of Bistökmafol
Wounds: Missing Tooth | Heavy Bleeding
Abilities: Immaculate Aim | Clumsy Fighter | 'Splode On Impact | Best Death EVAR | Legendary Swimmer
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name: Urist Anvilsmasher
Occupation: Soapmaker
Description
Location: Entrance Hall, Bistökmafol
Currently: Dodging rabid liches.
Inventory: Cave Spider Silk Shoes x2 | Monkeytear the Fanciness of Wearing | Bar of Kitten Tallow Soap | Battle Axe | Bamboo Pegarm | Stone Arm | Ozurlidod
Wounds: Missing Arm x2 | Crooked Toe | Heavy Bruising | Missing Tooth x2 | Black Eye
Abilities: Dabbling Surgeon (...) | Meager Social Ability | Martial Trance | Prehensile Beard | Legendary Leatherworker
Name: Mutie
Description: A giant mass of biological matter with a cat head sticking out of it. It takes orders from Derm.
Inventory: None
Wounds: None
Abilities: None

Locations
Ashiorid
Hellfire Cove
The Borealis
Condition:
Sunk
Westport
Mayor's Ogomspoxom's Former Manor
Forest Retreat
Nolsmustul, Goblin Fortress

[Dermonster]

FW: Join future self in ULTRA SONIC DUET!
MC: Webbing on the Mechanical enemys!

FW: On to the leg!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Do I get anything in my status to reflect the gaping mass of tissue?

[Frelock]

Ok, now that I can use my sword again, I'm good.

Meta: Run to the elevator, extinguishing any very small fires along the way.  For large fires, just run faster.

Fantasy:Continue going down into the depths of the fortress.

[_DivideByZero_]

RW: Throw a stray object into the portal, and see what happens.
FW: Head deeper into the fortress.