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[Dermonster]

*Double post poke*

[Gatleos]

Booze solves any problem. ANY PROBLEM.

**********~
Turn 104
**********~

META TURN:

THIS IS THE FUTURE

Goals
Find the keycard stations.

Current Soundtrack
?

Actions

RW: Singalong

RW: Tweak the odds just before the group singalong if I can.

Meta: Do a group Sing ALong

RW: Continue bashing the stagehand with one hand, while punching another with my other hand, and strangling a third with my beard. Sing along while doing so.

Meta: Singalong/Light demon stagehands on fire

(...) The stagehands corner you all and prepare to feast on your flesh!

"Uh... uh... quick! Singalong!"

"No! Not yet! Its time will come..."
"We have to sing something!"
"Hmmmmm..."

Searching through his bank of tired stereotypes, Monk has a revelation! He uses his hidden power of hootchkinesis which may or may not ever be mentioned again to produce several large kegs of alcohol!

"BOOOOOOZE!"

Our heroes, the audience and stagehands proceed to get hilariously drunk.

...

"Is this th-thing *urp* on?! Ohkey, hit it Chuckie... heh."
"Aye, *hic*, cap'n." *Begins playing piano*

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

"Deshpair, the end of the world/ I heeear the rising phoenix in my dreeeeaaams!/"
"And the viiirgin child made her wish upon a star/ That night her muther talksh no moooore/"
"Cape of Hope, the end of the dream/"
"A shinee fish spuh-lashes in a streeeem/"
"And the viiirgin child loses heeer heart and soul/ That night her mother'sh eyesh see no moooooore/"
"WHEN THE WIIIND BLOWS/ THE VIRGIN CHILD'SH CORPSH SINGSH A SONG/ SUCH A PRETTY MELODY NEVER HEARD BEFOOOORE/"
"NO MORE LUUUUULLABIES/ THE VIR-GIN CHILD SMILESH FROM HEEEEEEEEEEEEELL!!!"
"I- I LOVE YOU GUUUUUYS!!"
"You know, that *hic* song'sh pretty *urp* dark if ya think about- *BLAAAARRRRGGGHHH*"

You wake up hours later to find the theater completely trashed. The floor is littered with trash and various bodily fluids. You have no idea how long you were out, but you have a splitting headache. Luckily, the demonic stagehands are passed out as well.

Status
Player: dermonster
Name: Derek L.
Occupation: Video game Developer/designer.
Location: Russia, Holodeck
Currently: Wrecked.
Inventory: Underwear | Watch
Wounds: Heavy Burns
Abilities: Code Expert | Neckbeard | NERD RAEG | Hangover
Player: Frelock
Name: Frederick Stephonavich
Occupation: Actuary (Knowing probabilities of things)
Location: Russia, Holodeck
Currently: Drooling.
Inventory: Underwear | Watch
Wounds: Missing Arm | Heavy Bleeding
Abilities: Uncanny Prediction | Actuary's Lament | Tweak the Odds (...) | Hangover
Player: monk12
Name: Monk
Occupation: Troper
Description: Characteristically wears nice hats. Top hats, pirate hats, fedoras, you name it. Hopefully still has one in his possession.
Location: Russia, Holodeck
Currently: Dizzy.
Inventory: Underwear | Balloon Animal | Watch
Wounds: None
Abilities: Applied Phlebotinum | TV Tropes Will Ruin Your Life | MacGyvering | Telekinesis | Pyrokinesis | Hangover
Player: HighEndNoob
Name: Kyle Hammers
Occupation: Janitor
Location: Russia, Holodeck
Currently: Sporting the shakes.
Inventory: Underwear | Watch | Ashcraver
Wounds: Missing Legs | Triple Head Bumps | Blind
Abilities: That's The Power of Pinesol, Bitch! | Clean Freak | Custodial Might | EMT | Digitigrade Legs | Telepathy | Clairvoyance | Hangover
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name: John Freeman
Occupation: Drill Sergeant
Location: Russia, Holodeck
Currently: Nauseous.
Inventory: Underwear | Watch | Fake Sword
Wounds: None
Abilities: Major Payne | Fullmetal Jacket | Apocalypse Now | Hangover

Group Attacks
Impromptu Singalong
Spur of Conflagration to Giga Lazor

Locations
The S.S. Periclase
Main Deck
Deck 2
Maintenance Deck 3, Main Elevator
Maintenance Deck 3, Living Quarters
Maintenance Deck 3, Engineering Lab
EARTH!
Elevator Controls
Interrogation Room 7E-365 (Deck M3): You were all shackled to chairs in here when you woke up. The door has been dropkicked off its hinges. There's circuitry on the walls, a row of monitors, and a row of 5 chairs.

Spoiler: INITIATING RTD ROUTINE (click to show/hide)

FANTASY TURN:

The quest for The Keystone has begun.

Goals
"KIDNAP THE MAYOR OF THIS TOWN AND ESCAPE" Complete!
Throw Ogomspoxom into the fires of Mt. Helmath! Complete!
Establish diplomatic relations with the Goblins! Failed Miserably
Brave the depths of Bistökmafol and deliver the package.

Current Soundtrack
Marsh Land

Actions

FW: Try to change the summoning magic to healing magic (Which you said I was really close to anyways.).

(...) You can heal nothing.

FW: Obtain a weaponized version of the limbsplosion abilities.

(...) You fail also. It's like your meaty counterpart is drunk or something.

Fantasy: throw the rat off and swim up, grabbing Urist along the way.

(...) You struggle away from the rat and swim toward the surface, hauling Urist and yourself onto dry land!

FW: Swim up with HEN.

(...) You Dorf paddle along with HEN, making your way to the surface.

Fantasy: Learn to speak rat

(...) After squeaking incoherently for about five minutes, you manage to establish communication with the rats. You know how to say "No speak rat" and "Where is the bathroom".

Status
Player: dermonster
Name: Derm Hell-binder
Occupation: Elemental Mage/Summoner.
Location: Ghost Ship, Bistökmafol
Currently: Wheezing.
Inventory: Robes | Spiffy Hat | Keyring| Mutie (Commanding) | Sword | Armor
Wounds: Heavy Burns | Missing Left Hand | Broken Rib x2
Abilities: Gift of the Magi (...) | Squishy Wizard | Summoner (...) | Tentacle Arm | Water Blast | Superheat | Tectonic Shift | Lightning Rod
Player: Frelock
Name: Frelock Von-Heisenberg
Occupation: Luck-o-mancer (Manipulating probabilities of things)
Location: Courtyard, Bistökmafol
Currently: Drooling. Wait, what?!
Inventory: Gold Coin | Peasant Robes | Golden Pocket Watch | Map of Westport | Long Sword | Armor | Spring Shoes
Wounds: Black Eye | Missing Right Arm | Asthma
Abilities: Smooth Criminal | Accident Waiting to Happen | Befuddlement | Legsplosion | Greater Legsplosion | Armsplosion | Lich Curse
Player: monk12
Name: Edgar
Occupation: Sky Pirate
Location: Courtyard, Bistökmafol
Currently: Squeaking rapidly.
Inventory: Sleeveless Long Coat | Grappling Hook | Harpoon Gun | Bloody Arrow | Case of Booze | Mysteeeeeeerious Package
Wounds: Right Forearm Missing | Left Arm Missing
Abilities: Booze Power (...) | Terraphobia | Side-quest Radar
Player: HighEndNoob
Name: HighEndNoob
Occupation: Ninja Sniper
Location: Moat, Bistökmafol
Currently: Resting on shore.
Inventory: Robe | Throwing Dagger x18 | Musket | Musket Ammo x18 | Sword | Tattered Shirt | Leaf Barrel
Wounds: Missing Tooth | Heavy Bleeding x2
Abilities: Immaculate Aim | Clumsy Fighter | 'Splode On Impact | Best Death EVAR
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name: Urist Anvilsmasher
Occupation: Soapmaker
Description
Location: Moat, Bistökmafol
Currently: Heaving and huffing.
Inventory: Cave Spider Silk Robe | Cave Spider Silk Shoes x2 | Bar of Kitten Tallow Soap | Battle Axe | Bamboo Pegarm | Stone Arm | Ozurlidod | ≡Silver Warhammer≡ | Legchucks | Rat Bone Splint | Chunk of Steel
Wounds: Missing Arm x2 | Crooked Toe
Abilities: Dabbling Surgeon (...) | Meager Social Ability | Martial Trance | Prehensile Beard

Locations
Ashiorid
Hellfire Cove
The Borealis
Condition:
Sunk
Westport
Mayor's Ogomspoxom's Former Manor
Forest Retreat
Nolsmustul, Goblin Fortress

[Dermonster]

RW: Start looting the stagehands.

FW: "Would someone get over here and FIX MY DAMN RIBS?" Lets try the summoning method again.

[monk12]

Meta: Cure hangover with booze!

Fantasy: Open Mysteeeeeeerious Package

[RedWarrior0]

What, exactly, are the effects of a 9?

RW: Gather the collected hangover energy in the room into a ball of hangover, then hadoken it at the stagehands.

FW: Keep working on that Limbsplosion Beam.

[Sean Mirrsen]

RW: Gather the collected hangover energy in the room into a ball of hangover, then hadoken it at the stagehands.

Things like this are the reason why there is no such thing as an RTD Rulebook.

[Gatleos]

What, exactly, are the effects of a 9?

From now on you will get a hangover every time you roll a 9. How's that?

Really though, this is probably the only time a 9 being rolled won't result in an exploding building or worse.

[HighEndNoob]

Meta: Slap myself, than find a random Gauss Rifle/Mop on the floor.
Fantasy: Heal myself.

[_DivideByZero_]

RW: Train beard-strangling.
FW: Find the drawbridge and put lots of big, heavy rocks on it.

[NoahTophatz]

Meta
Player: NoahTophatz
Name: Roboz
Occupation: Skilled Warbot
Description: Dangerous looking steel Warbot Menacing with Spikes of steel he sometimes randomly sparks
Abilities: Optimal Course (Roll 3 or more for best result) | Robot skills |  Glitch (if roll two or less)
Fantasy
Player: NoahTophatz
Name: Mr Hatz
Occupation: Talking, thinking and walking Tophat
Description: A Tophat with a face and arms and legs of silk
Abilities: Fully Awesome | Almost no combat abilities| Hide

I hope you dont mind me giving myself abilities
Edit: Meta has only three abilities

[Frelock]

Back, and oh what a wonderful power the sing-along is.

Meta: Coup de Grace the stagehands

Fantasy: Continue in my search for a suitable sacrifice.

[Gatleos]

I hope you dont mind me giving myself abilities

I don't, but you're only keeping three of those on the Meta character.

**********~
Turn 105
**********~

META TURN:

THIS IS THE FUTURE

Goals
Find the keycard stations.

Current Soundtrack
Potential For Anything

Actions

RW: Start looting the stagehands.

(...) You swipe a pair of tight denim jeans and a t-shirt from one of the stagehands. It was starting to get drafty in here!

Meta: Cure hangover with booze!

(...) All the simulated kegs are out of simulated booze! You'll have to deal with your simulated hangover for now.

Meta: Slap myself, than find a random Gauss Rifle/Mop on the floor.

(...) You punch yourself in the face, knocking a few teeth loose! Searching the floor, you find a freaking gauss rifle!

RW: Train beard-strangling.

(...) You practice your asphyxiation technique on the unconscious stagehands, killing one in the process! You're getting creepily good at this.

Meta: Coup de Grace the stagehands

(...) You snap the neck of every stagehand you can find. You probably got all of them...

Status
Player: dermonster
Name: Derek L.
Occupation: Video game Developer/designer.
Location: Russia, Holodeck
Currently: Getting dressed.
Inventory: Underwear | Jeans | T-shirt | Watch
Wounds: Heavy Burns
Abilities: Code Expert | Neckbeard | NERD RAEG | Hangover
Player: Frelock
Name: Frederick Stephonavich
Occupation: Actuary (Knowing probabilities of things)
Location: Russia, Holodeck
Currently: FINISHING THEM
Inventory: Underwear | Watch
Wounds: Missing Arm | Heavy Bleeding | Faint
Abilities: Uncanny Prediction | Actuary's Lament | Tweak the Odds (...) | Hangover
Player: monk12
Name: Monk
Occupation: Troper
Description: Characteristically wears nice hats. Top hats, pirate hats, fedoras, you name it. Hopefully still has one in his possession.
Location: Russia, Holodeck
Currently: Hangover...ing.
Inventory: Underwear | Balloon Animal | Watch
Wounds: None
Abilities: Applied Phlebotinum | TV Tropes Will Ruin Your Life | MacGyvering | Telekinesis | Pyrokinesis | Hangover
Player: HighEndNoob
Name: Kyle Hammers
Occupation: Janitor
Location: Russia, Holodeck
Currently: Wielding a GAUSS RIFLE.
Inventory: Underwear | Watch | Ashcraver | Gauss Rifle
Wounds: Missing Legs | Triple Head Bumps | Blind | Missing Tooth x3 | Light Bleeding
Abilities: That's The Power of Pinesol, Bitch! | Clean Freak | Custodial Might | EMT | Digitigrade Legs | Telepathy | Clairvoyance | Hangover
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name: John Freeman
Occupation: Drill Sergeant
Location: Russia, Holodeck
Currently: This thread will now get a Google hit for Tentacle Snuff Porn.
Inventory: Underwear | Watch | Fake Sword
Wounds: None
Abilities: Major Payne | Fullmetal Jacket | Apocalypse Now | Hangover

Group Attacks
Impromptu Singalong
Spur of Conflagration to Giga Lazor

Locations
The S.S. Periclase
Main Deck
Deck 2
Maintenance Deck 3, Main Elevator
Maintenance Deck 3, Living Quarters
Maintenance Deck 3, Engineering Lab
EARTH!
Elevator Controls
Interrogation Room 7E-365 (Deck M3): You were all shackled to chairs in here when you woke up. The door has been dropkicked off its hinges. There's circuitry on the walls, a row of monitors, and a row of 5 chairs.

Spoiler: INITIATING RTD ROUTINE (click to show/hide)

FANTASY TURN:

The quest for The Keystone has begun.

Goals
"KIDNAP THE MAYOR OF THIS TOWN AND ESCAPE" Complete!
Throw Ogomspoxom into the fires of Mt. Helmath! Complete!
Establish diplomatic relations with the Goblins! Failed Miserably
Brave the depths of Bistökmafol and deliver the package.

Current Soundtrack
Marsh Land

Actions

FW: "Would someone get over here and FIX MY DAMN RIBS?" Lets try the summoning method again.

(...)

"WOULD SOMEONE FIX MY- ah screw it I'll do it myself."

Your ribs instantly mend themselves, and you feel a new magic enter your body!

Fantasy: Open Mysteeeeeeerious Package

(...) You rip open the sealed package and find a scroll inside! Unraveling it, you find that it is covered in Dwarvish writing. You can't understand Dwarven. Rat, yes. Dwarven, no. Suddenly, you feel something tickling your HUD!



You pull a small, odd-looking orb out of your pocket.

"HEY! LISTEN!"
"AAAAAHHHH!!!"
"Stop trying to open the package. It's for the council, not you. By the way, I stuffed a scrying orb in your pocket before you left the ship. You can use it to talk to LeChuck and I from inside the fortress."
"I'm sensing a lack of trust here."
"That's what the trial is for, Edgar. NOW GET TO WORK!"

Fantasy: Heal myself.

(...) You suck the poison out of your arm! Oh wait, that's blood. You ingest about a pint of your own blood and pass out.

FW: Find the drawbridge and put lots of big, heavy rocks on it.

(...) You carry several huge rocks over to the drawbridge and place them carefully at the edge!

Fantasy: Continue in my search for a suitable sacrifice.

(...) You approach the side of the fortress. Suddenly, a giant rat leaps out of the moat at you! (...) It collides with you and knocks you to the ground, causing your skull to crack! On the bright side, this rat is crawling with sin.

Status
Player: dermonster
Name: Derm Hell-binder
Occupation: Elemental Mage/Summoner.
Location: Ghost Ship, Bistökmafol
Currently: Thinking of the possibilities.
Inventory: Robes | Spiffy Hat | Keyring| Mutie (Commanding) | Sword | Armor
Wounds: Heavy Burns | Missing Left Hand
Abilities: Gift of the Magi (...) | Squishy Wizard | Summoner (...) | Tentacle Arm | Water Blast | Superheat | Tectonic Shift | Lightning Rod | Bonesalve The Savior of Mending
Player: Frelock
Name: Frelock Von-Heisenberg
Occupation: Luck-o-mancer (Manipulating probabilities of things)
Location: Moat, Bistökmafol
Currently: Struggling under rat-girth.
Inventory: Gold Coin | Peasant Robes | Golden Pocket Watch | Map of Westport | Long Sword | Armor | Spring Shoes
Wounds: Black Eye | Missing Right Arm | Asthma
Abilities: Smooth Criminal | Accident Waiting to Happen | Befuddlement | Legsplosion | Greater Legsplosion | Armsplosion | Lich Curse
Player: monk12
Name: Edgar
Occupation: Sky Pirate
Location: Courtyard, Bistökmafol
Currently: Checking out that floating HUD he didn't notice before.
Inventory: Sleeveless Long Coat | Grappling Hook | Harpoon Gun | Bloody Arrow | Case of Booze | Mysteeeeeeerious Package | Scrying Orb
Wounds: Right Forearm Missing | Left Arm Missing
Abilities: Booze Power (...) | Terraphobia | Side-quest Radar
Player: HighEndNoob
Name: HighEndNoob
Occupation: Ninja Sniper
Location: Moat, Bistökmafol
Currently: Passed out.
Inventory: Robe | Throwing Dagger x18 | Musket | Musket Ammo x18 | Sword | Tattered Shirt | Leaf Barrel
Wounds: Missing Tooth | Heavy Bleeding x2 | Unconscious
Abilities: Immaculate Aim | Clumsy Fighter | 'Splode On Impact | Best Death EVAR
Player: _DivideByZero_
Name: Urist Anvilsmasher
Occupation: Soapmaker
Description
Location: Courtyard, Bistökmafol
Currently: Preparing for the next phase of his Dorf pilgrimage.
Inventory: Cave Spider Silk Robe | Cave Spider Silk Shoes x2 | Bar of Kitten Tallow Soap | Battle Axe | Bamboo Pegarm | Stone Arm | Ozurlidod | ≡Silver Warhammer≡ | Legchucks | Rat Bone Splint | Chunk of Steel
Wounds: Missing Arm x2 | Crooked Toe
Abilities: Dabbling Surgeon (...) | Meager Social Ability | Martial Trance | Prehensile Beard

Locations
Ashiorid
Hellfire Cove
The Borealis
Condition:
Sunk
Westport
Mayor's Ogomspoxom's Former Manor
Forest Retreat
Nolsmustul, Goblin Fortress

_{TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN TENTACLE SNUFF PORN}

[Dermonster]

RW: Go outside and examine surroundings. Try to look for high tech stuff to play with.
FW: Ride mutie across the bridge. Gain control of disobedient rats.

^{_{TENTACLE SNUFF PORN}}

[NoahTophatz]

ok edited

[HighEndNoob]

Meta: Seeing that Mythbusters has failed me, he my wounds, and possibly find replacement teeth.
Fantasy: Wake up. This is no time for sleeping!